saying no to strangers.

**ellanwilliam** · 12-08-2010 18:08

Hi everyone, I am looking for some advice.
Today i was picking up my 8yo from school when a stranger tried to touch and pick up my 8 month old baby. I asked her nicely to look but not to touch and she then got furious with me and started yelling at me. She accused me of being to overprotective amongst other things and unbelievably said that my baby was not in fact my baby. According to this lady my baby belongs to everyone!!

I then excused myself and strapped my baby and myself into the car and locked the doors until my dd finished school.
I am petrified about tomorrow and don't know what to do if she confronts me with this issue again. I do have the right to say no don't I?

**1+1=5** · 12-08-2010 18:12

wow that is scary! you did the right thing. i would hope that you don't see her again, is she a mother of a child there or was she randomly walking past?

**flicker** · 12-08-2010 18:14

wow

way scary, what a nut case.
you have every right to tell her to not touch your baby, and if she has a problem with your ''overprotectivness'' to take it up with the police!

**Slapmyelbow** · 12-08-2010 18:15

Oh my lord! You poor thing!

That woman is a NUTBAG! Of course you dictate who handles your baby, noone else. I'd be avoiding her AND make a complaint to the school to have someone on watch at the end of the school day.

How terrifying for you!

Can you take someone with you when you pick up your son? Or can you latch on to a group of mums to stand near while you wait. If it happens again one of them might pipe up for you because surely handing babies over to strangers is not the norm.

**Danann** · 12-08-2010 18:19

Oh gawd...she sounds unhinged.
Good job you didn't let her hold your baby,
talking crazy and acting crazy go hand in hand.

**Myztik** · 12-08-2010 18:23

If she is another parent from the school I'd probably inform the principal what happened.. That is seriously messed up

eta - do you have a sling or carrier you can put bub in so the is strapped to you?

**Gothel** · 12-08-2010 18:24

a crazy woman followed me around a shopping centre once. She got sh
irty with me when i asked her not to touch dd1, and started abusing me as i went to leave, them followed us... I swore if it ever happened again i would call out for security. If she does it again tomorrow maybe you should do the same? Poor you, how frightening!

**RipperRita** · 12-08-2010 18:29

argh.... you poor thing!!!
I suffered from pretty bad anxiety and a bit of PND when I had DS, it seems so ridiculous to me now but at the time It was the height of the swine flu scare (no vaccs were avaliable yet), it was all over TV and I had literally just had my DS and was terrified of him catching it. I used to hate anyone touching him without washing their hands and god forbid if anyone had a cold or anything.... I copped so much slack from others for this and I remember when DS was 2 weeks and I ventured for my first outing to coles to get some food. a lady with a child (about 5) came over to touch my DS and I politley asked if they would just look and not touch and the lady went off the deep end at me and told me I should stay at home and not come out if I felt like that. Like I said, I look back now and recognise I was suffering from anxiety but at the time my fears were very real to me and i was very scared. I was still shell shocked from an emergency C/S and sleep deprived, teary and not coping well at all.... it almost sent me over the edge. I remember going back to my car and just crying uncontrollably...

well its off track but thats my story... anyway i think Its your child and people should respect the way you do things....

**MegaGuts** · 12-08-2010 18:46

Wow... this woman sounds mentally unstable! I'll quote pp and say let your principal know tomorrow asap so they are notified of it and hopefully can have someone be on the look out for you.

What a horrible thing to experience! Of course you have every right to say who touches your baby and who doesn't, it's YOUR child! Like i said, she sounds mentally unstable if she's going to start shouting at you and proclaiming that your child isn't your's but infact everyone's. Have you noticed her before at all??

I never had that experience with DS when he was a bub, i always had people stop and admire him, and that's normal, but no one just making themselves at home and going to grab him or even ask for a cuddle. Imo, a complete stranger asking to hold your child is just creepy, i certainly wouldn't do it

Just turn up at the school a bit earlier tomorrow afternoon if you can and maybe do as others have suggested and stand with a group of mothers, or at least close by,or maybe try and find another mum with a bub or small child and just strike up a conversation and maybe bring it up?? Maybe you're not the only one this person has done it to??

**mim1** · 12-08-2010 18:53

That's definitely concerning. You definitely did the right thing. It's concerning that she didn't respect you asking her not to touch your child.

Depending on the situation I might talk to a baby that young (eg. hello), but usually I limit myself to smiling and even then if given the opportunity I look to the parent for approval. The only time I might go to touch such a young baby is if they were in danger ... eg. crawling towards an open door or stairs ... but most 8 month olds don't crawl, so it doesn't sound like this was your situation.

Definitely talk to the principal tomorrow and describe the woman. Put your bubba in a sling or pram perhaps for next time til you are confident this woman won't annoy you again!