Found this article written in Sunday life magazine

[ReneeRitaConnor]

Thought I'd let you all have a read, Opinions welcomed.


Is motherhood really that hard?

JACINTA TYNAN, SUNDAY LIFE

August 2, 2010

• Comments 124

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Motherhood is tiring and time-consuming, but is it hard?

Quit moaning about your lack of me-time and unread novels, says Jacinta Tynan. This motherhood thing is all a bit of a lark.
There is one thing nobody warned me about when I became a mother: what a breeze it would be. I was warned about everything else. All I had been told since I became pregnant was to prepare myself for the toughest job of my life. For years of sleep deprivation, boredom (yes, boredom) and my life not being my own. I was bombarded with tales of cracked nipples, all-night vigils and vomit on the carpet. I was more than mildly worried, as a result, about how on earth I would cope. I am someone who needs my sleep and had a decades long habit of calling my own shots. Would the requirement to be at the beck and call of a little one – even my little one – do my head in?
So, I got the most pleasant surprise to find that being a mum is one of the most seamless, joyful, intuitive things I have ever done. Yes, there are sleepless nights (many of them, in a seemingly endless row), but there is nothing difficult about being up all night with the love of your life. I know our baby boy is only nine months old and isn't even crawling yet, let alone tearing through the house crashing pots on to the floor. I know I only have one child who is healthy and I, thankfully, escaped the cruel curse of postnatal depression, but still I can't see what all the fuss is about.
Ask me if I have another, but from where I stand motherhood is a cinch.
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Yes, it is tiring, and yes, it is time-consuming with showers and emails a sudden extravagance.
But it is not hard. Hard is being tied to a soulless job for 80 per cent of your waking hours. Hard is fighting cancer, or having a child who is. Or not being able to conceive a child when you ache for nothing more. But soothing a crying baby who won't sleep for love nor money is a privilege, not a hardship. Wiping spew off your jacket before bolting out the door to a meeting is funny, not a drama.
It is not fashionable to say so. For the past decade or two, many women in their 20s, 30s and even 40s have been trying to squeeze in a career and motherhood simultaneously, and we have heard the cry of mothers' martyrdom. It has become de rigueur to complain about how arduous the whole thing is, one-upping each other over whose baby sleeps the least, chucks the most and who has fewer hours in the day. We didn't lobby this hard and hang out this long for work-life balance to admit the whole thing is a piece of cake. A pile of books and blogs reassure us that we are not alone in our hair-pulling struggle: I Don't Know How She Does It, Mommies Who Drink and the sarcasm-riddled Motherhood Is Easy: A Survival Guide having a chortle at our dishevelled demeanours, and misdemeanours. You are excused for your despair, they say. It's a tough gig.
And it can be. It just doesn't have to be.
More on motherhood: Essential Baby
Journalist Jenny Dillon might be pushing it with her claims that mothers today are “perpetuating a hoax”, pretending it's as hard as it used to be, household appliances apparently putting us on “Easy Street”. But I do think we could learn a thing or two from our mothers and grandmothers. You never heard a peep out of them about mucking in to double the kids and double the workload, with no online groceries or disposable nappies. Sure, they didn't work (most of them) but they also appreciated that being a mum was one of the better things in life.
My mum had six children, no help and, on occasion, a job. Yet she gave it her all with grace and joy. Our generation acts as if we deserve a medal.
It's not as if we didn't know what we were signing up for. Most mothers want to be mothers, longing for the day when we will hold our own baby in our arms.
How tragic to begrudge it because we can't find time to read a book.
“You will resent the night feeds,” one mother warned me. I never did. I relished them. I took my sister's advice: to cherish those moments when it was just my baby and me together, the only light on in the street. I didn't want to will away one second.
“Don't you hate the sound of their crying?” another mother queried, searching for camaraderie.
No. I didn't and I don't.
Babies don't cry to annoy us. They cry because they are hungry or tired and we are here to solve that.
“It's just because you have an easy baby,” say mums when I confess (it feels like a confession) how much I love it.
We do have an easy baby. So far. He laughs a lot, loves his food and sleeps, well, like a baby. And I am blessed to have a stimulating part-time job and good childcare. Like most mums I have to “juggle” – just as I was warned – often presenting six hours of live TV news in a fog of sleeplessness. Until recently our baby woke at 4am. I also feel an overwhelming responsibility for our baby's emotional well-being. But hard? No. Exhilarating and rewarding more like it.
I never knew I had such capacity to love. Nobody warned me about that.

[aLittleLoopy]

All I can say is let's see her write this article when her child is three or she has more than one child, or her wonderful husband leaves or if she doesn't keep her fantastic job etc, etc... I read a follow up to this about how she shouldn't be so smug as she is commenting from her lofty ground of privilege and perfect life, job etc.

Yep, it is the greatest thing we'll do, being a mother, and we do love it, but it is hard for all the rest of us mere mortals!

[Magnanimous]

So, I got the most pleasant surprise to find that being a mum is one of the most seamless, joyful, intuitive things I have ever done. .

Not sure what drugs she is on but i want some. The answer to the question "is it really that hard" is "YES - if you are doing it properly".

The immense responsibility of raising & developing a child cannot be compared to 9-5 job where you walk in & walk out of each day - parenthood brings new meaning to the word "full time".

I hate people that write these articles, it just adds to the myth that being a mum is just something that comes "natural" & does not require hard work - much harder work than working if you are really invested in your children. Basically she is just bringing herself up by bringing other mothers down - not the trait of a good mother & role model if you ask me.

[The Fox]

Wow, what a crock of crap...

[Tenyrmiracle]

Well....I envy her life for being so easy then. If only we all could have one baby and money to spend freely.

I started my adventure as a biological mother after accepting 3 foster kids, ranging in age from 4-15 yrs old. Endless appointments, problems stemming from the way they were previously raised and a husband that works shifts and is away for up to 3 days at a time (has been 5 on the odd occasion). I now have 4 foster kids and my own who is 9 months. Sure, it's rewarding. Sure, I wouldn't change a thing but, easy? NEVER.

This woman is just feeding into all those that perceive SAHM's as lazy and believe that it isn't work. Thanks.

[threechooks]

But it is not hard. Hard is being tied to a soulless job for 80 per cent of your waking hours. Hard is fighting cancer, or having a child who is. Or not being able to conceive a child when you ache for nothing more. But soothing a crying baby who won't sleep for love nor money is a privilege, not a hardship. Wiping spew off your jacket before bolting out the door to a meeting is funny, not a drama.

I must say I agree with 95% of the article. But I have one child, a wonderful Husband, a great part-time job and enough money

[Chicky Pea]

Not sure if I'm totally crazy to post this, but going to go out on a limb....

I'm not really sure what's wrong with someone admitting they are having an easy time with motherhood...? She freely admits she only has one child who is still at age where they aren't causing too much chaos around the house and that she is lucky she has a job she can still function doing on no sleep. She is just saying that she loves her son so much that she finds the stressful elements (sleepless nights, vomity clothes) worth it because she finds it so rewarded...?

I agree with this quote "Hard is being tied to a soulless job for 80 per cent of your waking hours. Hard is fighting cancer, or having a child who is. Or not being able to conceive a child when you ache for nothing more. But soothing a crying baby who won't sleep for love nor money is a privilege, not a hardship."

I'm a brand new mother (DD is nearly 4 weeks old) and yeah, there are some times that I think it's frikkin hard! I have had more than one meltdown and times where I have questioned whether I can do this...? But (and don't want to bring the mood down) a close friend of mine died in a plane crash one year ago today (the one at the Kokoda Trail) and today, when DD has been an absolute ratbag, I think of him and his family dealing with their loss. THAT is hard. Me soothing my healthy newborn who just wants a cuddle is not hard. Yes, I had to stop checking doing what I was doing on my laptop, stop eating my snack and go into her room, but I'm trying to keep it in perspective.

The one thing I have found in being a mother for such a short time, is that there are so many things that mothers are not supposed to say to each other. There is the group that never admits it's hard ("I'm fine! My baby's perfect!") and there is the group that hates hearing that some women might have an 'easier' baby than us? Why can't we be happy for her that she loves it and doesn't find it hard....? Let's just accept that every mother is going to have a different experience to the next, and just support each other a bit more?

Sorry... just my opinion.

Ok, debate to start in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.....

[Magnanimous]

:
This woman is just feeding into all those that perceive SAHM's as lazy and believe that it isn't work. Thanks.

I second that Tenyrmiracle

[Magnanimous]

I suppose the point is that it is all relative, if I compare my job to being a new mum i think it is much harder because if i f*#ck up at work i can always find a new job or rectify the situation in most cases but if i screw up with DD i find it impossible to forgive myself & am sure i have somehow ruined her.

However if I were to compare it to other things such as a loss in the family or marriage breakdown or other types of major stresses i agree that it is nothing in comparison in most cases so i suppose it depends on how you look at it.

Personally i read the article to be a bit of a brag about how she found most mothers to exaggerate how difficult it is for them which i found a bit arrogant as each persons experience is individual & you cant really compare apples with apples.

Just my thoughts, but i understand previous two posts.

[Shellfish]

This woman is just feeding into all those that perceive SAHM's as lazy and believe that it isn't work. Thanks.

I agree. This is the aspect of the article that really got up my nose. I appreciate that she may have been blessed with a well behaved or easy going child and good on her for that. But looking after children is difficult (a word I would have thought she ought to have used being a journalist, but I digress) purely because there is a lot of work involved (as someone mentioned, if you are doing it properly) and that is even before the temperament of the child is taken into account.

This article has perpetuated the myth that SAHM sit with their feet up, watching Oprah and eating chocolates.

I hope she intends to do a follow up article when she has a toddler and a baby...or when her delightful children has it's first tantrum...