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  1. #21
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    People are stupid, insensitive, 'have to chuck their nose in' weirdo's sometimes . Sheesh, your son is only 6mths old! Tell them to back off or have their own kid if they're so worried about breeding more

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy2be3 View Post
    I think we are twins!! I also am not the maternal clucky type.. I also had a terrible pregnancy and disasterous birth.. I have NO desire for more.. heck, I had no desire for children ever in my life! I clearly remember at age 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 etc saying "I'm never having kids!"
    (I DO love my DS to the heavens and back though of course)

    Thankfully I've not had comments like yours.. I've had others though:

    "Oh, I would NEVER have only one child!" (my brother, who has NO kids yet)

    "Its cruel to only have one" (my sister.. and I told her thats what I used to think but then I went through pregnancy, labor, birth, PND, PTSD and ongoing problems from the birth and that has left me wanting NO more kids)

    "oh, but surely you want more! you have to try for a little girl!" ... oh really? I have to try for a girl.. why would I do that? I love the fact I have a little boy and I do not crave for a girl at all to "make my family complete"

    Anyway.. I TOTALLY get where youre coming from, and to make it worse it hurts more when these comments come from family and friends, especially when they know what I went through with all of it, they think I'll just go through it all again at a whim?!

    P.s - friends tell me it doesnt just happen to us (one child), friends who have 2 are asked when they'll have their 3rd etc.. mums who only have boys are asked when they will try for a boy etc etc. I just make sure that I am NOT one of those nosey people who asks those questions. It is tempting to ask "So.. you going to have another one?" But just remember how that question makes you feel

    People are douches sometimes, aren't they!?
    lol
    I was never maternal either. Just b4 i met my husband i was busily telling everyone how not into kids i was.
    I love my litttle boy to bits! But he caused me a lot of grief b4 he got here! lol

    From now on i'm just gonna reverse the question 'when are YOU having your next?' lol

    It makes me mad, but i can still laugh about it xxx

  3. #23
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    DP and I havent even got the first yet and we are asked what age gap we're going to have.
    We had the ring test done on both of us on the weekend and it said on girl for each of us. We both went, hmmm ok 1 kid sounds like us. And we both could see that as our future.
    Well, you can't even 'hypothetically' be happy with one child. Everyone was outraged and telling us how cruel it would be to just have one child, and they wont be socially aadjusted blah blah blah

    We had to stop them and say you are aware that we are 11 WEEKS pregnant, none of this is even relevant anywhere in the next year?

    But yet people judge the people up the road because they just had their fourth.... seriously, you can't win.

  4. #24
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    It's annoying isn't it. I've read recently that studies have shown that it is common for only children to be more intelligent (better test results than peers with siblings), possibly because they have their parents full attention and can read to them more, help teach them more, etc. So I wouldn't be worried about that silly comment!

    As for socialisation, these days children have plenty of socialisation with daycare, playgroup, after hours school care, friends, sporting activities, etc. Times have changed! Its like some people think only children are locked in a cupboard and isolated from the world .

    As for some people saying its cruel, I think my childhood with my sister was cruel as all we did was fight. I don't remember us ever playing happily together. People tend to forget sometimes how much siblings can fight and not get along. A sibling is not a guaranteed friend.

    I think the next time your sister or anyone else makes a rude comment about this, you should tell them that they are being rude (which they are), and should keep their ridiculous comments to themselves.

    You know what's best for you and your family.

  5. #25
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    I've often considered telling a lie and telling people that I 'cant' have anymore children (as in fertility wise) just to shut them up and make them feel bad for asking.. but then I would feel bad for saying such a thing

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Just Add Water View Post
    Ditto to what Hooves said - I get criticised because we're having our 5th. People will never be happy unless you do what they say - all the more reason to be happy with what you want and ignore them
    I agree! we get criticised for wanting a big family with the exact same comments 'just wait, you'll change your mind' or 'kids from big families are neglected cos parents are too busy)
    people will always find a reason to 'offer advice'

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by kstar23 View Post
    People can be so insensitive sometimes!
    I think you summed it up right there!

    People are never happy........... you get together with a person - when are your going to get engaged?
    Get engaged - when are you getting married ?
    Get married - when are you having kids?
    Have one child - whens the next?
    I think you are sensible if you and your DH are happy with one (and you have to negotiate that one!) then be happy with one try not to let others get you down!

    Oh and I have known some Lovely and intelligent only kids!

  8. #28
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    I only ever wanted one child. I told everyone this and got a lot of crap from my family about being selfish and that I would raise a strange and spoiled child etc. Then I fell pregnant with baby 2 (accidently) and when we told people they said things like wow I bet the baby was an accident, how will you cope with 2 etc so my conclusion is that you can't please people lol

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by kstar23 View Post
    I'm sure other women experience this, but everywhere i turn i seem to get the question 'so when will you have your next?'

    I just had my DS 6 months ago!

    When my husband and I talked kids, we never discussed a number.
    Now that I have had one I realise that I am totally content with just the one.
    People tell me all time time I will change my mind.
    Not to mention all the other crap they say!
    My own sister told me last night (she has 2 teenagers) that she has never known a nice only child and that they are normally less smart than children with siblings! I mean FFS, come on!!!

    Another one I have heard is that we don't have a real family until we have 2+ kids. This lovely one came from my DH!! So what have I got? A fake family? lol (he didn't have an answer for that).

    I really don't want anymore children. There is no desire in me for anymore. I love my little boy so much and financially one is more sensible for us.
    Not to mention I had a terrible pregnancy, and disasterous birth!
    Why can't everyone around me accept that?
    The only person I am willing to MAYBE compromise with, is my hubby.

    People can be so insensitive sometimes!

    Thanks for letting me vent!
    I am sooo glad you posted this thread. I was actually going to post a thread something along the lines of ' has anyone else had such a crappy pregnancy they just want one child?' but then I felt guilty for thinking it aloud and assumed I was the only one feeling this way

    You are damned if you do and damned if you don't!

    I am currently 28 wks preggies with the first and I already get 'so when's the next one?' you would think a death stare would be enough for ppl to back off seeing I just spent half an hour puking!!! Then you get the ' you'll change your mind when bubz is here etc etc' I have heard it all.

    Before pregnancy I wanted 2 and now I am leaning waaay towards the one. Dh is happy with whatever decision I make as he knows how hard it's been for me. Yes there are women who suffer much more but thete is so much I can take physically and emotionally.

    I know many only kids and adults and they are definitely not dumb or selfish. I really hate that stereotype.

    Anyway are they the ones that will have deal with the child day in day out? Will they be paying you to raise that child?

    If you are happy with your choice then that's all that matters.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mumof3furbabies View Post
    I was actually going to post a thread something along the lines of ' has anyone else had such a crappy pregnancy they just want one child?'
    YES! ME!


 

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