Why do people criticize me for only wanting 1 child??

[Mumof3furbabies]

YES! ME!

Lol so glad I'm not the only one! I feel like a wuss sometimes for not being strong enough but then I think you know what pregnancy has a major impact on a woman on every aspect and I will not be made to feel guilty dammit!

[kstar23]

i am so glad i posted this!
my pregnancy sucked, i had 24/7 morning sickness, i lost so much weight. Then i got gastro for an entire week and had to see my doctor everyday for 5 days! Then i copped every virus known to man, and then finally good old morning sickness returned!! ??? (my husband had his 30th, got absolutely wasted, i was 8.5 months preg, and I WAS THE BLOODY ONE IN THE LOO AT 3AM THROWING UP!)

Then the big day finally arrived, after 9 solid pushing hours, i had to have an emergency c-sect! Didn't research c-sects AT ALL, cos there'd be no way i'd need one right? lol
Felt helpless, clueless, went into shock after the op.
Spent almost 3 hours on my own without my baby (didn't even get a cuddle upon delivery)!

Spent the next 2 months recovering, not driving, and coping with visitors non-stop! All whilst trying to figure out this mum stuff! lol

6 months on and i still cannot feel anything in my lower back or belly, i get sore where the spinal was put in, and i was told i would never have a natural birth.

Now if that wasn't enough to put me off having more, i don't know what is.
I will never say never, but if one more person brings it up, im gonna sit them down and tell them my little story! lol

xxx

[Nowhere]

i know how you feel people ask me all the time, usualy with a stupid grin on there face, So is it time to start trying for another one. Im sick of it

[Ruby Sneakers]

My cousin is an only child (fertility issues only - aunt and uncle wanted a huge fam but couldnt happen) and she actually gets picked on at school because shes an only child...... I couldnt believe it when she told me..... it was pure jealousy on the other childs part that my cousin didnt have 19 other children to share stuff with but yeah!! So no i dont think only children have any issues being well adjusted i think its more the raising of said child lol.....

As for some people saying its cruel, I think my childhood with my sister was cruel as all we did was fight. I don't remember us ever playing happily together. People tend to forget sometimes how much siblings can fight and not get along. A sibling is not a guaranteed friend.

My bro and I always fought... ALWAYS!!!! i dont remember a time we didnt...... and he still tried with me.... hence why i dont have a relationship with him anymore its just too hard!!!

I am sooo glad you posted this thread. I was actually going to post a thread something along the lines of ' has anyone else had such a crappy pregnancy they just want one child?' but then I felt guilty for thinking it aloud and assumed I was the only one feeling this way

You are damned if you do and damned if you don't!

I am currently 28 wks preggies with the first and I already get 'so when's the next one?' you would think a death stare would be enough for ppl to back off seeing I just spent half an hour puking!!! Then you get the ' you'll change your mind when bubz is here etc etc' I have heard it all.

Before pregnancy I wanted 2 and now I am leaning waaay towards the one. Dh is happy with whatever decision I make as he knows how hard it's been for me. Yes there are women who suffer much more but thete is so much I can take physically and emotionally.

I know many only kids and adults and they are definitely not dumb or selfish. I really hate that stereotype.

Anyway are they the ones that will have deal with the child day in day out? Will they be paying you to raise that child?

If you are happy with your choice then that's all that matters.

I could have written that!!! Im 29 weeks and have HATED (oh yes i went there ladies) ABSOLUTELY HATED HATED HATED HATED HATED nearly every aspect of being pregnant... suffering HG since 6 weeks (ended up in hospital 3 times), heart palpiations, low BP, fainting eps, having to quit my job at 11 weeks, being basically restricted to my house because of safety (fainting while driving/out on my own) I have ZERO desire to do this again in a hurry (if at all but heaven forbid i say that!!)

I had people over last night and they asked me when the next one was going to be.... ummmm pretty sure this one aint done yet!!!! geeez let me have a chance of ruining this ones life before i pop out another one!!!

All i hear is 'oh ull forget the min u see that baby about ur pregnancy' ummmmmmmm do i get a labotomy at the same time??? because i can tell u at what age and how many times i was sick in my entire childhood from the age of about 4..... but now ill tell u what the best food is the second time around lol

The delimar is DH is very unclear on how many children he wants.... 2 was the max for me now its more like im gunna struggle to get to one LOL (ok maybe not but u know what i mean)

Thank god im not the only one who feels this way tho i swear i was starting to think i was a bad mum lol

[aquarius]

All i hear is 'oh ull forget the min u see that baby about ur pregnancy' ummmmmmmm do i get a labotomy at the same time???

OMG i HATE that comment - when it's as bad as some of us have had it, you NEVER forget. especially if, like me and many others on here, you suffer from PND or PTSD as a result of traumatic birth experience! oh and i'm hearing you about the morning sickness, sisters! not to mention backache, insomnia, depression, pre-eclampsia scares - the list goes on!

pinupsez, i hope you feel better towards the end and get some rest xx

mumof3furbabies, you are definitely not the only one!

[Ruby Sneakers]

OMG i HATE that comment - when it's as bad as some of us have had it, you NEVER forget. especially if, like me and many others on here, you suffer from PND or PTSD as a result of traumatic birth experience! oh and i'm hearing you about the morning sickness, sisters! not to mention backache, insomnia, depression, pre-eclampsia scares - the list goes on!

pinupsez, i hope you feel better towards the end and get some rest xx

mumof3furbabies, you are definitely not the only one!

Thanks Hun, fingers crossed!!!

Big hugs to everyone for sharing their stories too - We are allowed to feel this way!!! xoxoxox

[Happy2be3]

Kstar - feel free to pop into the trauma thread.. trust me, it helps

I'll never understand why everyone expects pregnancy & birth to be the BEST experience ever.. its not roses and fairies for everyone, how could it be? Its the same with motherhood, some mothers would swear blind its the most fullfilling thing they've EVER done, some wouldnt quite feel that way. Life cant be all rosey for all of us all the time unfortunately and people who insist it is just annoy me

[Happy2be3]

OMG i HATE that comment - when it's as bad as some of us have had it, you NEVER forget. especially if, like me and many others on here, you suffer from PND or PTSD as a result of traumatic birth experience! oh and i'm hearing you about the morning sickness, sisters! not to mention backache, insomnia, depression, pre-eclampsia scares - the list goes on!

pinupsez, i hope you feel better towards the end and get some rest xx

mumof3furbabies, you are definitely not the only one!

Oh yes, I'll never forget, how could I.. it changed me, it was the most traumatic, scary thing I've been through.. maybe if I'd had a happy, positive birth I could imagine the pain side of it fading away.... but I didnt so I couldnt.

[Mumof3furbabies]

Wow ladies I thought my ms was bad after reading your stories I feel like mine is nothing compared to yours

I haven't even given birth yet so I don't know how I will cope with that or the period after birth. I do feel sad that pregnancy wasn't what I imagined and that the actual pregnancy is deterring me from having another, but then I think about the past 7 months and think wow I can't believe I got through it

The only thing I have enjoyed so far is feeling my bubz kick and move that's it.

Thanks for opening up this topic guys. I feel less guilty and relieved I'm not the only pne

[kstar23]

If I have gained any knowledge from this experience, it would be that I should never feel guilty about anything I'm feeling.
ALL my feelings are valid!

It's your body and your right to feel what ever it is you like. You're growing a human being in there, IT'S HARD WORK! lol

Some women do get lucky and get nice easy pregnancies, and cheers to them, but it's obvious that there are a lot who don't too.

And as for those who say 'you'll change your mind once bub comes along', I certainly believe that once DS came along, i looked at things differently, but nothing I went through disappeared because I now had him. It just kind of made it seem worth it.
But I don't need 10 kids to realise it's worth it, one is a lifetime reminder too! lol


xxx