There is no 'i' in team, but there is certainly an 'i' in Kevin if this afternoon's extraordinary performance is anything to go by.
Kevin Rudd the mighty has revealed his true colours.
After declaring last night he did not want to be a distraction, Kevin Rudd moved straight to occupying centre stage.
Kevin Michael Rudd is of course no-one's "distraction." Kevin Rudd only plays A-grade. To underscore that point, we have a 3pm press conference in Brisbane in order to declare there is nothing at all to see here.
These sudden outbursts really ought to come with theme music. Kevin greeted the scribes and his television audience looking mighty pleased, yet vaguely aggrieved, like a conductor in front of a twitchy symphony orchestra still gossiping and tuning up. Move on you pesky obscurantists of the press, flocking here to see me Being Dignified. Yes, yes, I called you all here, but why are you looking at me like that?
I am Helping Prime Minister Gillard.
I am Not Derailing Labor's (clearly hopelessly, pathetically, ineffective) campaign against Tony Abbott.
If you missed it, essentially maestro's message was this.
The campaign is bloody hopeless.
Not their fault, it just lacks a critical element.
(Kevin is 52 year old father of three, lives in Norman Park, speaks a few languages, plays A-grade, does not leak damaging information against colleagues, and takes out patents on Being Dignified in the Face of Very Bad Acts.)
Don't worry Real Julia, or Fake Julia, or whomever the hell you are. I, Kevin, will Save You.
(Mind you I can't even name you, I'm so bloody angry. The best I can manage is a curt "Prime Minister Gillard." It used to be Julia, when I used to pretend I liked you, and you pretended to like me. But there it is.)
Yes you and the shocking goons you hang out with tore me down before my time. (Apparently tearing things down is easy, it's building them up that's hard. Rudd told us this once or twice this afternoon, while thanking kiddies for their lovely sympathy drawings.)
But you, Prime Minister Gillard, are being hopelessly out-gunned by Tony Abbott, that sly old fox who wants to skate on in to The Lodge because you guys can't blow his flimsy cover.
So I will save you. I will show you my mighty power.
To save you I will stand here and be prime minister Rudd. I will stand behind a podium and be the Dignified Prime Minister in Exile.
I will be the Prime Minister in Flynn or Dawson and perhaps a couple of seats in New South Wales where I poll well.
I will race about not being a distraction.
I will allow a rapprochement, a sort of dual prime ministership.
Seriously you could not possibly script this campaign.
We live in extraordinary times.
Katharine Murphy is The Age's national affairs correspondent.