DD almost 7 months and I'm not respected as a mum

[nothanksbye]

Seriously. I think you are way over reacting.

But it's your first baby, and you're allowed to.. I"m sure the rest of us did.

Honestly though, she's not as fragile as you think and a bit of bread and kissing noise isn't going to hurt her.

I don't know you or your family... but I do know babies.. and they're pretty resiliency little things. Maybe you need to spend some time with more people with multiple kids.

And just talk to your fam.. let them know that you know you're being overprotective and it can be a bit over the top.. but she's your first and that's how you feel comfortable parenting and ask that they just roll with it till she's walking and crawling and putting all manner of disgusting things in her mouth anyway.

Trust me, the noise she'll make throwing tantrums will hurt your ears more than a bit of kissing noise will hurt hers.

I think you need to let go of control a little and you need to speak up.

If you laugh when they do things, how are they supposed to know you are annoyed?
You have to set your boundaries.

I do kiss my kids very loudly though and bubbas cant choke on bread.
I was just like you with my first and I was hugely over protective and a little paranoid.

walk away from them and work on what you want.
Then you can set boundaries.

[kar]

Honestly - just cut off contact. Tell them why and say you will not allow them near your child again if they keep disrespecting you and stick to it.
It is obviously stressing you out big time as you write threads about it so often.
You have the power to stop it - so do it.

I do think you are somewhat overreacting and maybe need to relax a little bit but still it is your child and what you say should go.
Sorry i don't mean to be rude but i just want to be honest with you.

I do think you seem to overreact to things, BUT if it is stressing you out so much stop seeing them and tell them why and when they are ready to change they are welcome back.

[Chaton]

Replace "DD" with "DS" and this post could have been mine. My mum gives me a lot of stick for not doing things the way she did, and she often tries to sneak DS things I won't let him have.

At his baptism she tried to feed him some cake and was really upset when I caught her and said he couldn't have any (he was 4 months old!). I've caught her dipping his dummy in honey or vegemite too. I know she doesn't really mean any harm - she probably thinks that if she doesn't tell me but then her method works she can say later "I told you that would work" and I'll believe her.

She also thinks I'm crazy for getting up to him in the night. She thinks if I just refuse to get up to settle him or feed him than he'll soon become used to it and he'll stop waking.

She keeps offering to look after him overnight or for a day and I keep putting it off...

[carleena]

I think u need to be very clear with your family as to what is ok and what isnt. My dad thought it was a huge joke to feed my DD bits of cake so I told him straight out that I wasnt happy with her eating cake at such a young age and then told him what I think is ok for her to eat. Since then he has been great about it. I still likes to joke around about all the 'bad' foods she eats when she stays with them but I know he would never give her anything I didnt approve of.

The loud kissing though, I really think you are over reacting. Your DD will be subjected to much louder noises in her time. I mean what will you do when she go to kindy or school and there are other kids yelling and playing - it's not like you can tell them to be quiet or anything

[Livvey]

Seriously. I think you are way over reacting.

But it's your first baby, and you're allowed to.. I"m sure the rest of us did.

Honestly though, she's not as fragile as you think and a bit of bread and kissing noise isn't going to hurt her.

I don't know you or your family... but I do know babies.. and they're pretty resiliency little things. Maybe you need to spend some time with more people with multiple kids.

And just talk to your fam.. let them know that you know you're being overprotective and it can be a bit over the top.. but she's your first and that's how you feel comfortable parenting and ask that they just roll with it till she's walking and crawling and putting all manner of disgusting things in her mouth anyway.

Trust me, the noise she'll make throwing tantrums will hurt your ears more than a bit of kissing noise will hurt hers.

I was pretty protective first time around, but i soon learnt to speak up when i wasn't happy with something to do with my son. Your daughter can't speak up for herself, so it's up to you to do it for her. Trust me, when you do it, you'll feel 100% better about the situation. Good luck

[mumma2ajem]

Went over to my parents last night for dinner. After giving DD a long feed, my mum wanted to hold her as did my sister. I got to eat my dinner.

Later on I walked to the kitchen to get some water. I went back to the table and heard mum saying to my DD "wait till your mother sees you". DD had a massive piece of soft italian bread with a crust in her mouth. I was in shock and took it from her hands. She could of choked on a small piece. They just laughed and found it funny. I do have this habit lately of laughing when Im in shock. i didnt really tell them off.

I fell that my DD hasnt been respected from the day she was born and me as a mother. I wasnt even asked if it was ok to give it to her. I feel that they see her as a toy.

They where kissing her very loudly near her ears and I said watch it you can damage her hearing. All I get back is a funny look from my mother. They always think I am been ridiculous with some things. So sick of it all and do not have the energy anymore to get through to them. Then they wonder why I do not leave DD with anyone.

My DD is going the get baptised next week and I am taking her with me to the hair dressers!

ok the bolded bit first im sorry if someone said to me your kissin ...........( insert name there <) to loudly you will damage her ears id give you a funny look as well i have read heaps of your posts and yes you seem to over react alot and take things to seriously BUT she is your daughter and your first you ahve every right to do that but from the posts i think you really need to do something about it maybe sit down all your family and tell them exactly what the go is etc and give them another chance please do not just take your dd away from them as a silly punishment that is not fair to anyone your dd included and if ur worried about someone kissing your daughter harming her ears how do you go out to different places do u not take her in a car has she never heard a motor bike fly past a train a helicopter has she not heard a radio or a tv those things can and will be louder then a kiss

Seriously. I think you are way over reacting.

But it's your first baby, and you're allowed to.. I"m sure the rest of us did.

Honestly though, she's not as fragile as you think and a bit of bread and kissing noise isn't going to hurt her.

I don't know you or your family... but I do know babies.. and they're pretty resiliency little things. Maybe you need to spend some time with more people with multiple kids.

And just talk to your fam.. let them know that you know you're being overprotective and it can be a bit over the top.. but she's your first and that's how you feel comfortable parenting and ask that they just roll with it till she's walking and crawling and putting all manner of disgusting things in her mouth anyway.

Trust me, the noise she'll make throwing tantrums will hurt your ears more than a bit of kissing noise will hurt hers.

very welll said

[1+1=5]

i think at the very least, you need a BREAK from your family. I would take a month off and avoid them, get some sanity back.

[Azurial]

Seriously. I think you are way over reacting.

But it's your first baby, and you're allowed to.. I"m sure the rest of us did.

Honestly though, she's not as fragile as you think and a bit of bread and kissing noise isn't going to hurt her.

I don't know you or your family... but I do know babies.. and they're pretty resiliency little things. Maybe you need to spend some time with more people with multiple kids.

And just talk to your fam.. let them know that you know you're being overprotective and it can be a bit over the top.. but she's your first and that's how you feel comfortable parenting and ask that they just roll with it till she's walking and crawling and putting all manner of disgusting things in her mouth anyway.

Trust me, the noise she'll make throwing tantrums will hurt your ears more than a bit of kissing noise will hurt hers.

It really scary being a first time mum I know. A friend of mine was given some great advice when she had her first and was being very protective, she passed it on to me. Its really simple and not meant to offend but it is.... 'Babies are actually really hard to kill.' and if they are a healthy baby then its true. Just try to relax a little and enjoy more.

[Piffle]

I do have this habit lately of laughing when Im in shock. i didnt really tell them off.

I feel for you cause my MIL gave DS some dry pieces of scone when he was only just on runny breast milk rice cereal. I was soooo furious. She knew I wouldn't allow it so she did it when they were out on a "walk" together and then told me like it was wonderful news.

But the point is - how on earth are they supposed to respect your wishes as a mother if you laugh along with them and don't tell them you're annoyed! Stick up for yourself!

[kas3]

Today I think it's the 'norm' for ppl to check with the parents before giving a child food, but I don't think the older generations even think about it. My folks and my ILs rarely ask if they can give my DS anything. I guess it's not really a problem unless your kid has an allergy or something. My mum gave my DS a spoonful of cream when he was about four-months-old. My DH was a bit upset as we hadn't planned to start him on solids until six months. Tbh I wasn't too bothered and didn't think it was worth saying anything, but my DH and MIL made a pt of telling her that the introduction of solids is linked to allergies etc. etc. I think Mum was a bit hurt - she certainly didn't think she was putting her grandson at risk! I guess I just don't feel really strongly one way or the other. Maybe it would be different if I did