Worried - Is my 8 month old DS self weaning??

[nicoleE]

DS will soon be 8 months and has been on solids since about 5 as he was always such a hungry baby (and big boy) feeding every 2hrs!.

His schedule USED to be as follows:
8am wake
9am BF
11am BF, nap then solids
3pm BF
5pm BF, nap then solids
8pm BF then bed
11pm dreamfeed
wakes during night/sleep in our bed early morning couple of short BF'ds

I didnt introduce a breakfast solids for a while because he hadnt been feeding well in the morning and I wanted to make sure he had a BF before solids (plus it was a bit hard as he wakes late). (although he has recently started regardless, he is offered water with solids to BTW)

In the last week in addition to not feeding well for the first morning feed he has tended not to BF well firstly for the 11am feed and now for the 3pm one to! He seems to only feed now if he is tired (his 5pm, 8pm and overnight feeds). he does get VERY distracted and having a toddler in the house doesnt help that but despite feeding in his room in relative quiet and even when she is not around he just doesnt want to do it, its like he doesnt even want to get into the BF position, and I know he isnt sick, no sore ears, etc, etc. Ive tried all the tricks to, BF necklace, squirting some in his mouth, offering my hair or jacket collar to play with (which he used to like doing), even tried sticking a sticker on my boob!!!

HOWEVER he will happily take EBM out of a bottle and right after offering a BF a couple of times I will go and express, come back with a bottle of it and when he sees the bottle he will kick his legs and make noises as if to say 'gimmie-gimmie!!'.
The problem with this is despite owning $400 worth of manual and electric pumps they just dont seem to work on my boobs, I have to hand express which is time consuming, not as effective and leaves my boobs quite sore and red.

What do you think? I dont really know much about self weaning, could it be this, or just a stage?
I really hope not, I BF his sister until 1.5yrs and was hoping to do the same with him

[bumMum]

personally, I think it might be the fact that the bottle is easier for him. milk comes more quickly and easily out of a bottle so I think that can make babies get lazier. my ds was exactly the same. he had bottles at daycare from six months and he started to only take boob as a last resort around 8 months too.
If you want him to keep breastfeeding, maybe just don't use the bottle.

[Mrs Nietzsche]

I've found that around this age, my kids seem to be happy for bf to take a back seat but it all bounces back later on. Not sure why, maybe just the transition on to being on solids etc.

My 2 year old DS is 10 times more obsessed iwth the boob than my 9 mth old DD2 (I'm tandem feeding)... I have to discourage him and encourage her!

Just keep going with it. Ditch the bottle as much as you can and offer the breast.

eta - I remember with DS at this age (now boob obsessed) and now going throguh it with DD2 - pretty much when they are tired is the only guaranteed time they will want to feed. It is pretty much unheard of for babies to actually self wean at this age though.. they are just focussed on new foods etc I think at the moment. Just keep going, dont worry about it, but dont stop offering the breast. And dont give him EBM. Why bother? If he isnt interested in the breast the first time you offer, he will be in an hour or so UNLESS you've given EBM.

[SpecialPatrolGroup]

My bub is almost 9 months and she really only feeds when she wants to - if we are out at the shops I CAN NOT get her to BF - today I was out at a funeral, then had to do school pick up, groceries etc and she went for 8 hours without milk. I can't offer any helpful suggestions, just to tell you that you aren't alone.

[nicoleE]

Thanks but I've only recently started to offer ebm because I've been worried about his intake as he wasn't taking any plus worried about my supply. I had all but packed bottles away and had been giving him water at meals from sippy cup. What should I do if he's not having any?
Problem is he sleeps shockingly (wakes at least every hour unless I feed him and even then will only law about 2hrs) and I was about to get tough and cut out all night feeds and trips into our bed but now I think I might have to see this out first.
Sorry about grammar and text formatting, now on my phone typing this!

[MamaKoala]

At that age DD wasn't very interested in feeding. Especially when her brothers are around. If we're out she can last 5 or 6 hours without a feed and just get absorbed with what's going on.

Personally I would ditch the bottles and keep an eye on his nappy. If he wets fine then I wouldn't worry too much.
If you need some extra support, call the ABA or a lactation consultant and have them visit with you to see if they can offer anything more.
DD does most of her feeding at night too. She'll cluster feed from around 4am with two quick feeds at 11pm and 2am. This might be what your bub is doing.
Good luck with it. Expressing causes more stress for me and takes about 2 weeks to build up to being able to pump enough for a feed. She only has it at daycare but even now she's being dropped off at 9am with one bottle and I usually get there at 3pm to pick her up and she still hasn't finished the bottle (she's 10 months).

[nicoleE]

No improvement today, infact today he refused his 5pm feed which he was taking before as he was sleepy (he goes down for a nap right afterwards). this time he got really upset, I knew he was hungry but he wouldnt have anything to do with the breast. I got a bottle of water thinking he might want a bit of a sip and hopefully go to sleep, and while he was asleep I was planning to express.. he calmed as soon as he got the water, but then started up again. He ended up so upset (mainly from hunger i think i wasnt forcing the boob on him) I could hardly console him, i gave in and offered him formula, he took 160ml and was very happy.


Im finding this really upsetting. Im so confused and I dont really have great support and understanding from my family, both mum and my sister only BF their kids for a max of 3months (infact i wasnt BF at all) and just say "maybe you should just put him on the bottle" or "maybe he's just telling you something"(like he wants forumla), they just dont understand the emotional side for me, he could be my last baby and Im not ready to stop, I wanted to give him this gift until he was well over a year.

[JJAZ]

I just wanted to let you no you are not alone - my 9.5month old is doing very similar things and everyone keeps telling me she is weaning she is weaning - and i just can not accept it - Zailee will most likely be our last and i just dont want it to end yet!!

Totally feel for you honey!! Hope it is just a stage and our little ones go back to being Boobie lovers!!

[Piffle]

Hi Nicole,

I really feel for you, especially about the night feeding situation. My bub (9.5 months) was starting to feed more and more regularly overnight and it was really getting me down. He would often not be interested in the first morning feed either cause he was full from overnight - it was so frustrating! So I made the difficult decision to do cold turkey night weaning (tried a few times to do it in a more gentle way e.g. only doing "short" BFs overnight, or feeding some times and patting back to sleep others, but that wasn't working for us cause I think it was giving him confusing signs). It was certainly tough the first 3 nights but now he's sleeping through about 2/3 of the time, and other times just gets reassured/water and back to sleep! And he is nice and hungry for the morning feed... we have a lovely cuddle in bed when he wakes up and he has a MASSIVE drink, it's my favourite time of day. I'm not saying this will work for you, but perhaps if you could offer less milk overnight, to ensure he's hungry on waking??

I would urge you not to give the bottle - EVER. The more you give it, I think the more he will prefer it. In my opinion, it doesn't matter if he whinges for the bottle for the first few days, just don't even let him see a bottle... if he gets hungry enough surely he will drink from the boob! Just eliminate the bottle as an option and he should stop crying for it. I think this is easier in an older bub cause you don't have to worry about them going without milk for a while.

Don't listen to people telling you that he is "telling you something/should be given formula"! He loves you and wants you, you just need to persist!

If it helps, my bub has a BF on waking (~6:30), midmorning (~10:20), mid-arvo (~2:30) and then one or two BFs leading up to bed (~6-7).

[ourhope]

Hello and Kudos to you all for keeping up woth breastfeeding. I have also exclusively breast fed my DS who is now 8.5 months.
Never given formula or even EBM. My issue is kind of similar hence posting here. Since DS was 5.5 months, he started spending less time on the boob, 5-6 mins on each and he used to be done for his feed. Would last for about 2.5 to 3 hrs and then again would feed for 5-6 mins on each boob. The feed before bed time and the first one in the morning were a little longer. This has continued till now. He is also on 3 solid meals. I feel that my supply has kind of adjusted to this routine of DS. But in the last catch up with MCHN last week, I was told that DS has slowed his weight gain. Diapers etc are fine and he is a bright and alert baby. I just want to know if ur bubs are also efficient suckers and spend about the same time on the boob?? or am I feeding less to my baby :-(

Also want to point out that my flow is pretty average.

Any notes would be helpful. thanks and keep breastfeeding, YAY!!