A not so good outcome *sigh*

[ladyinwaiting2010]

I had my first appointment today with my OB. I told him that i was hoping for a c-section and reasons were the tachycardia and blood pressure ect. WELL he said that a vaginal birth would be better for those things and he pretty much talked me out of wanting one, he went on saying the recovery takes ages and its painful ect. i just thought to myself "wouldnt labour be BAD for heartrate/BP? i cant think of anything more physically demanding than giving birth!!!" ANYWAY then i brang up the fact that im anxious about the whole birth thing and i had some pretty tough births that werent fun at all (OK so obviously its not meant to be 'fun') i totally broke down and cried at this point, the poor guy! I also told him how i had the abortion because i didnt want to do it again. He then suggested talking to a counsellor and not to talk me out of a c-section but to get to the core reasons as to why im so fearful.

I dont know if im going to get the c-section, he sounds pretty against them and im devo'd. i cannot handle giving birth again! i hate having to fight for it. i dont want to have to fight for it.

He also said that my fundal height is 20. im 16 weeks and 2 days today. he is considering changing my due date.

[soon to be mum of 4]

Hi,
I am the opposite i am hoping for a vba2c and am fighting for it
My reasons being i had 2 c sections that were traumatic and life threatening and 1 vaginal birth that was drug free and no complications. One of cesareans i went bradycardic and needed adrenalin to get my heart going again, and also ended up with a very painful numb area on my lower back that may have ended up permanent luckily it didn't that was caused from the spinal block. The 1st cesarean i had, was also traumatic and ended up with the surgeon tearing my uterus and me with a post partum haemorrage....so i guess my post is just to say, keep fighting for what you want, but know that there are others doing the exact opposite, i wish we could trade places I am just trusting my OB that he will suggest and do what is in the best interest of both my health and that of the baby, and that is what he has said all pregnancy.

Good luck no matter what outcome you get

[ladyinwaiting2010]

Hi,
I am the opposite i am hoping for a vba2c and am fighting for it
My reasons being i had 2 c sections that were traumatic and life threatening and 1 vaginal birth that was drug free and no complications. One of cesareans i went bradycardic and needed adrenalin to get my heart going again, and also ended up with a very painful numb area on my lower back that may have ended up permanent luckily it didn't that was caused from the spinal block. The 1st cesarean i had, was also traumatic and ended up with the surgeon tearing my uterus and me with a post partum haemorrage....so i guess my post is just to say, keep fighting for what you want, but know that there are others doing the exact opposite, i wish we could trade places I am just trusting my OB that he will suggest and do what is in the best interest of both my health and that of the baby, and that is what he has said all pregnancy.

Good luck no matter what outcome you get

Thanks and good luck to you too!

And Babymaker, i know, but by my LMP and being 20 weeks pregnant is practically spot on.

[headoverfeet]

I would second speaking to someone about your previous births

Fundal height can vary for a number of reasons but it is not a good indication of bubs size it's very rare for you body to grow a bub you can't birth.

[MyCheekyMonkey]

**Big hugs**

Definitely go and see a counsellor, I think it will really help you talking things through with a professional, and you may even be able to get the psych to recommend a c section for you if they believe it is a better option.

I hope it all works out for you

[missie_mack]

He has some valid points about the reasons you originally raised and seeing someone about your previous births and what can be done differently to improve your outcome is a good way of moving forward. Whilst it may seem easier to avoid the situation, dealing with the problem is more important in the longterm

[F&A]

My ob was somewhat the same, really keen on vaginal births. i went and saw the psychologist he recommended, i found her really helpful, and in the end she and I decided a c-section was best in my situation. ob was happy to go along with doing a csection as i had somewhat worked through my issues

I would go chat to someone, see if they can help. but if you are dead set on a c-section stick to your guns and tell your ob thats whats happening, or find a new one!

hope this helps!

[overitand36]

why as women do we need counselors to know what type of birthing experience we want

why can we not simply be heard and respected without needing to justify why

i love my ob my body my birth my choice, if it was not this way no way would I be staying with her

change ob's get what you want and don't fight for it, just tell them this is what I will be having we all know we pay enough for them

I also know sometimes because of medical issues we do not get what we want but this is a completely different story

[ladyinwaiting2010]

He has some valid points about the reasons you originally raised and seeing someone about your previous births and what can be done differently to improve your outcome is a good way of moving forward. Whilst it may seem easier to avoid the situation, dealing with the problem is more important in the longterm

People who arent going through this will never know what its like. I lose sleep over this. It makes me physically sick. i find it hard to get out of bed in the morning and i only do because i have 3 children to look after. i dont enjoy anything! im losing weight from not eating properly. this isnt a CHOICE. i really dont want to be in this situation. and to be honest its a little embarrassing. ive never been good with expressing my feelings with people and i find it extremely difficult doing it face to face with a stranger who will never have to endure labour nd childbirth so cannot empathise with me.

I guess the easy answer to this is "Well maybe you shouldnt be having another baby" and i guess its kind of true. i already have 3 amazing beautiful girls. but this baby is my new wonderful partners and id rather do it now than 10 years down the track.

Im curious, what valid points did you think he made? how it takes a long time to recover and its painful? i have a 4 inch purple scar on my left arm because i shattered my elbow late December 2009. I had surgery and was under for 4 hours. i KNOW what pain is. i KNOW what its like to have restricted mobility. i couldnt use my arm for months and i STILL managed. And yes i do understand that a c-section is major surgery. i really feel like i can handle recovering from a c-section. im only 22 so im sure i will bounce back.

Sorry, i probably sounded like a pregnant moody ***** lol but i thought id just give some more insight.

I will definitely be seeing the counsellor next week and see where it goes from there.

[1+1=5]

if he agreed to a c/s, would that mean that you would not feel so anxious anymore? I agree with him that you need to talk through your previous experiences with a professional but not so that they can grant you the birth you want but rather, that you deal with the trauma.

I was going to suggest doing some calmbirthing classes but it sounds like a c/s is really what you want. Put your foot down hun and insist on what you want and just because you find birth traumatic, doesn't mean you shouldn't have any more children , its a small part of being a parent