View Poll Results: Would you continue your pregnancy if...?

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  • yes

    74 37.95%
  • no

    85 43.59%
  • other

    36 18.46%
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  1. #41
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    I would terminate. I had a high risk result with my son's pregnancy and that is the conclusion we came to before we had the amnio done. That was for ds or any other trisomy. Luckily all was ok and we proceeded with the pregnancy.

  2. #42
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    I would have the termination. I already have 2 disabled children and I couldnt have a 3rd it would be to much for me to handle.

    On saying that DS2 had a high NT scan and we chose to have the CVS and made our mind up that we wouldnt continue the pregnancy if it came back with a problem. The test results all cam back normal so we continued on and he was born at 32 weeks.

    On the day he was born the doctors told us there was something genetically wrong with DS2. They have done tests and everything is coming back normal so far but just looking at him you can tell things just arent right. The specialists are now saying that technology just isnt good enough to find out the problem maybe in years to come they can name the problem.....

    It is very easy for people who dont have a child with a disability to say every child has a reason to be here but to see your child unwell and know they will never be able to do even the easiest of things is very heartbraking in everyway. Now I love my children to bits but if I could do my time over honestly I wouldnt of had them. Not only for me but for them. I believe everybody should have a certain quaily of life and it is so hard seeing/caring for people who need 24hr support.

    I dont mean to upset or offend anyone its just the way I honestly feel.

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  4. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by TrulyBlessed View Post
    Thanks hun.

    We are both young, healthy & no family history of any genetic defect. Just goes to show you how much of a lottery it really is.

    Turns out he did infact have none of the trisomy they thought he did (13,18 or 21). He was missing his whole X chromosome.
    im very sorry for your loss..
    this annoys me a little as our dr said I didnt need to have NT done as we were young healthy and no family history, I asked if i could still have it and they said no need.. just shows it doesnt matter how old you are, or your family history

  5. #44
    futureherder is offline Child led parent here...save me :)
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    DP and I decided before trying for bub #1 that we would go through with a PG no matter what is found unless there is overwhelming evidence to indicate that the child would be in agony if born, or would suffer terribly if born...however as horrible as it is..I feel the child should be born anyway...but maybe that is because I just dont want to step up to the plate and end a life...we are not religious people but we dont feel it is our place...however we created the life so why shouldn't it be our place to end it...I think as a mother I would not wont my child to be born into agony...that is as much as I can say...

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    I would never terminate ever under any circumstance.

  7. #46
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    I work in the disability field, providing support to people with intellectual disabilities. There is much debate with this topic around the office all the time. The general discussion seems to be around "Quality of Life" and "how it can be measured".

    I am going to say yes that i would continue on with the pregnancy, as i think that is what i would do, but honestly, i don't really know unless i'm ever in that situation

    to anyone who has ever been in the situation of having to make the decision and to anyone who may have to in the future, as i have seen first hand just how hard it can be and the effects it can have on families having to make this choice.

  8. #47
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    I said no, but honestly until I was in that situation, I couldn't be 100% sure.

    It would definitely depend on what it was, and the severity.

    My main reason is that I wouldn't want my time to be eaten up caring for a special needs child, as then DS would end up going without attention. I have a friend in the reverse situation where her DS is developmentally delayed and she is not going to have any more children (for now, anyways) so she can devote all her time to helping her DS get where he needs to be.

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    I did.
    I regret it everyday.

  10. #49
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    Like I said in my pp, I decided not to terminate ds, but I really feel for those that do decide to do it. It would be so heartbreaking. I was just so relieved that sb isn't life threatening. He's such a happy boy & everyone who meets him falls in love with him. He is very well liked at his school & they see him for him, not his disability. I couldn't imagine a life without him in it.

  11. #50
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    EquineMum is offline <---- Me, Him and The Bump 37wks
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    This exact question is very close to home for me. My brother is severely intellectually handicapped, has dextrocardia (his heart is back to front and on the wrong sides) and has a list of congenital 'defects' as long as your arm. He also has a special type of epilepsy - and his fits are generally stress triggered.

    My parents have been spoon feeding and changing nappies for 26 years now. They rarely (almost never) have a break, or time out or a night off - I was their chief babysitter and due to DH being in the Forces, we are regularly posted interstate away from my family, so it's just not an option anymore

    Both my parents drink and smoke exhorbitant amounts - they are always telling me this is their only outlet considering they have no social life - and who am I to argue? I grew up ridiculously fast as a child - and spent every day after school looking after my brother and every day on the school holidays babysitting because my parents simply couldn't afford a carer with the high skills and training required to look after him. The impact and effect my brother has had on my family is immense. Don't get me wrong, we all love him dearly - and should anything happen to my parents, he will come and live with us - but that's a whole other story.

    Every time my brother goes into hospital for any kind of treatment or surgery (which is quite often - any time he needs even something simple like dental work, it's a general anaesthetic), my parents have to sign the dreaded DNR form (Do Not Resuscitate) and come to an agreement that should something happen to him whilst under anaesthetic (very likely due to his heart issues) - do they Drs try and resuscitate him or not? My Dad says yes, he's his only son, my Mum says no - she is exhausted and if it's his time to go, then it's his time to go. This argument has torn my family apart on more occasions than I can count. We have all cried more tears over this one topic than anyone should in a lifetime.

    My parents are regularly covered in bruises and marks where my brother has lashed out. He has the intellectual abilities of a 2yo, but trapped inside the body of a 26 yo and he is so incredibly strong. Puberty was hell for all of us - I still have scars.

    When I fell PG with DS1, DH and I discussed what we would do if we found out our child had disabilities such as my brother's - and we both agreed, without question, we would terminate. When I fell pregnant with our current bump (21wks) - same thing.

    I'm not saying it's a decision we made lightly - termination is final. You can't take it back. I love my brother but I would not wish my family's situation on my worst enemy sometimes, let alone the people I love most in the world.

    Sorry this took so long to get out - but I felt I couldn't just say 'no, I wouldn't continue with the pregnancy' without some form of justification (even to myself) as to why.

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