men and breastfeeding

[Baldie's Mum]

What was your man like when you first started breastfeeding.

Josh is feeling a little nervous. He keeps suggesting that i express. He is 100% for breatmilk, he is just not really 100% for the breast being put in the babies mouth.

I *think* he is worried about the sexuality of the breast being taken away from him. He has been bought up without breastfeeding anywhere near him. His maternal and paternal grandmothers could not feed, his mother couldnt feed, and he never saw any of his aunts feeding either. So, really i am the 1st person he would see breastfeeding.

I keep giving him info on 'breast is best' but he knows that 'breast is best'. Its not the milk, its the boob.

So, does anyone have anything helpful i can do to get him used to the idea of me feeding? Or has anyone gone through the same thing???

He works about 90 odd hrs a week and then really the only day he is at home is sunday.....So it shouldnt be an issue that really stirs a pot, but i want josh to be comfy.

[elleandsam]

DH was the same up until the actual birth but then was totally fine with it. Maybe Josh will be the same?

[brogeybear]

He will only really get comfortable with it from being exposed to it, the same with a lot of people. My DH was great and very supportive, even though I failed with DS. He is right on side for my next one and gets really annoyed when people think women should cover up, etc.

Sorry Im not much help, but the main thing would be exposure to get him used to it.

[drewid]

I think most first time Dad's have some reservations. It's just an adjustment that happens after bub is born. Most of the feeding goes on when Dad isn't around anyway, so it's not always in his face. And with the sexual side of things - you probably wont' be interested for a while anyway, so it's a bit of a moot point.

I dont' know what more you can do - he knows it's the best thing to do, and he will learn more as you go. He might lose access for a while, but it's not forever!

[delirium]

I would remind him that the primary function of the breast is to feed the baby, not for his enjoyment, that's just an added bonus

Reading your posts hun, he seems kind of detached and almost resentful of the bub. He may well come to his senses when your son is born and I hope he does.

If it were me, I'd tell him to grow up and stop being so self absorbed, but I'm a bit of a bish like that

[Mrs Nietzsche]

DH was weird at first, or unused to the idea, but totally fine now. It's quite easy to separate the purposes or functions of breasts, just like you can separate your vagina from childbirth or sex.

[jenpeterock]

Pete got used to the whole idea very quickly, because it was literally a two person job. i held evie and he positioned pillows and blankets around us and was able to help me see if she was attaching properly.

honestly i think he was definitly more freaked out by the expressing machine and its suctioning power after testing it out on himself....

[Baldie's Mum]

Well this is where i laugh....Josh is the LEAST sexual person EVER! LOL! He has the sex drive of a brick wall......
But i think your right. Exposure is the best way. He has NEVER been exposed to breastfeeding.

And he isnt ever at home, he is always working.....so, he wont 'see' it very often!

[Baldie's Mum]

I would remind him that the primary function of the breast is to feed the baby, not for his enjoyment, that's just an added bonus

Reading your posts hun, he seems kind of detached and almost resentful of the bub. He may well come to his senses when your son is born and I hope he does.

If it were me, I'd tell him to grow up and stop being so self absorbed, but I'm a bit of a bish like that

Not sure how he could possibly resent Baldie.
I dont want to tell him to grow up cause i want him to understand. He has never been around breastfeeding mums. I am seriously probably the 1st person he will have seen breastfeeding. Not kidding. So i want him to learn. And be okay with it......not be told.

[Lemonhead]

DP didnt bat an eyelid when I BF DS for that short time, he even said he thought it was great and he hopes I can do it this time so long as I can express because he wants to be able to feed bubba too (he did all DSs night feeds).

When it is another woman though, he feels very uncomfortable. He doesnt know where to look and generally tries to avoid any eye contact . He has also said he doesnt like the idea of me BFing in front of other men like his friends or family...but he will get over it. He is very sexually connected to breasts though, they are a major turn on for him so I dont know how he so easily distinguishes them .