Why are men allowed to 'opt-out'?

**murrythecat** · 19-06-2010 12:32

why is it.. that men (and it's mostly men isn't it) feel they can just 'opt out' of life.

they feel they can just have a breakdown, be depressed, navel gaze, be selfish, spend money on themselves and not pay their csa and just generally be an ***.

why is they can just opt out.. how do they feel they can justify it.

my ex destroyed our marriage because he had 'problems' and stole all our savings. He now does his navel gazing in his own flat away from me thank god! he promises to come and 'help' with the kids.. blah blah blah.. 'oh I promise I'll be there 8.30 am to help you can go back to bed'.. whatever! twice promised and never delivered.. he just feels he can opt out of visits.. csa payments on his overdue amounts etc etc.. why? it's so bloody unfair!

I've had a bad cold all week.. feel like crap.. I had to keep going.. school runs, shopping, meal times etc. no rest or help for me! he doesn't show up because he has a 'cold' oh gez really!!! why tell me how the **** that feels ********!!! but he just doesn't care enough to follow through.. just opts out. why is it women have to keep going holding things together! does it never occur to these deadbeats that we might be tired, sore, hungry, in need of a break!???

**HELPihavea2yrold!** · 19-06-2010 13:09

They 'opt' out because they can and society make excuses for them. When a man isnt helping at home with the new baby or housework and coming home and sitting on his ****, its a case of 'Poor thing, hes tired or hes not helping with baby because hes too scared'. News flash- I had no idea what to do with a newborn either when I brought it home from hospital but I learned because I wanted to take care of DS the best I could. Women are just supposed to put up with this sh%t and never once question it. Men are allowed to go out and just waste all the families income on gambling, takeout or magazines etc because they work hard and they deserve a treat. Meanwhile, women are working 24/7 raising these 'mens' children, and all of their income is going on the children. I had to look after DS thru a tooth extraction because his father was too busy drinking with his friends to look after him. Even my brother who is a great father calls it 'babysitting' when he looks after his kids. It is NOT fricken babysitting when they are your own kids! Same with paying CS. My ex is on over $70G a year and yet he cant pay any CS to help bring up the baby he wanted until he realised they are expensive and time consuming! Ok Rant over now! This subject just really p*sses me off though!

**Ra Ra Superstar** · 19-06-2010 15:31

Originally Posted by Mum2lilPrince

They 'opt' out because they can and society make excuses for them. When a man isnt helping at home with the new baby or housework and coming home and sitting on his ****, its a case of 'Poor thing, hes tired or hes not helping with baby because hes too scared'. News flash- I had no idea what to do with a newborn either when I brought it home from hospital but I learned because I wanted to take care of DS the best I could. Women are just supposed to put up with this sh%t and never once question it. Men are allowed to go out and just waste all the families income on gambling, takeout or magazines etc because they work hard and they deserve a treat. Meanwhile, women are working 24/7 raising these 'mens' children, and all of their income is going on the children. I had to look after DS thru a tooth extraction because his father was too busy drinking with his friends to look after him. Even my brother who is a great father calls it 'babysitting' when he looks after his kids. It is NOT fricken babysitting when they are your own kids! Same with paying CS. My ex is on over $70G a year and yet he cant pay any CS to help bring up the baby he wanted until he realised they are expensive and time consuming! Ok Rant over now! This subject just really p*sses me off though!

**murrythecat** · 19-06-2010 15:49

okay girls I have just LOT THE PLOT at my ex.. he turned up 6 hours late telling me how sick he was *bull*! took the kids to the park and now says he's going home.. he actually said to my son 'daddy is going now because mummy wants daddy to go home'.. ****wit! I asked him for the $28 he owes me for the karate class HE signed our son up to and was supposed to take him to and pay for! he told me last week he had $500 in his saving account but now tells me he has no money at the moment.. he tells me I EARN MORE THAN HE DOES!!! my rent is like 4 times his per week!!!! his ****y $150 he pays in cs for 3 children doesn't even cover the children's rents!!!! I told him I couldn't give a **** IF HE LEFT.. HE WAS A ****WIT AND I HOPED HE ROTTED IN HELL FOR THIS ****Y LIFE HE'S GIVEN ME!!!!!!!!!!

**MummyDaddy** · 19-06-2010 16:29

Originally Posted by Mum2lilPrince

They 'opt' out because they can and society make excuses for them.

We live in a male dominated society ... as such - men get paid more for the same job, they even get different GST. I think the best example is that lubricant has no GST - yet tampons do. What more proof do we need that we live in a male dominated patriarchal society.

And now ... here come the stampede or women who feel the need to STICK up for men.

That's because they are brainwashed by this patriarchal male dominated society and don't even realise it.

**MummyDaddy** · 19-06-2010 16:30

Originally Posted by murrythecat

okay girls I have just LOT THE PLOT at my ex.. he turned up 6 hours late telling me how sick he was *bull*! took the kids to the park and now says he's going home.. he actually said to my son 'daddy is going now because mummy wants daddy to go home'.. ****wit! I asked him for the $28 he owes me for the karate class HE signed our son up to and was supposed to take him to and pay for! he told me last week he had $500 in his saving account but now tells me he has no money at the moment.. he tells me I EARN MORE THAN HE DOES!!! my rent is like 4 times his per week!!!! his ****y $150 he pays in cs for 3 children doesn't even cover the children's rents!!!! I told him I couldn't give a **** IF HE LEFT.. HE WAS A ****WIT AND I HOPED HE ROTTED IN HELL FOR THIS ****Y LIFE HE'S GIVEN ME!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry you are going through this. Your ex sounds like a true loser.

Hugs for you

**murrythecat** · 19-06-2010 16:48

I just feel such rage...I cannot even be nice to him..then he makes out I a *****...nobody wins!

**HELPihavea2yrold!** · 19-06-2010 17:25

[QUOTE=MummyDaddy;4875735]
We live in a male dominated society ... as such - men get paid more for the same job, they even get different GST. I think the best example is that lubricant has no GST - yet tampons do. What more proof do we need that we live in a male dominated patriarchal society.
QUOTE]

Im a trade qualified cabinet maker and was always expected to do everything the men did, same lifting. Unlike them, I didnt spend an hour a day looking at porn mags and yet I got paid $5 an hour LESS then them. And these were men who had same experience as me. Im proud though that I got my trade and I was 1st in the Tafe class!