Every day seems to be getting worse!

[chickpea]

Hi
my babe is 5 weeks and 4 days old and was initially (first 4 weeks) and awesome sleeper, he has always demand fed 2.5-3 hourly but went back down no problems, back into cot awake or asleep.
For the past week he has been getting harder and harder to settle, it started off in the morning feed/sleep and seems to be progressing to each feed/sleep.
I settle him in my arms, then shhh, pat and have my hand firmly on him until he is sleepy or asleep, he then proceeds to wake himself straight up (you can seem him fighting it) and the whole thing starts again, this is interspersed with periods of crying. It is taking 45-60 minutes at a time to settle him if at all (we are now entering the third hour of this). Main problem with this is he doesnt extend out his feed times, so I spend 45 minutes or so feeding, changing, burping, then another 45-60 minutes settling, then he sleeps for an hour or so and it is waking for the next feed!
I saw the child health nurse today and she basically said it shouldnt take that long and i should only try to settle him for 5 minutes, then leave the room, then go back in again after a couple of minutes if he hasnt dopped off, and repeat (obviously attend to him straight away if crying)
this didnt work at all this afternoon (hence entering hour 3 of settling, feeding, crying etc etc)
Please tell me this is normal for a 5 week old and he will get better soon. He is showing no signs of stretching his feeds out at all.
He is gaining weight fine (averaging 500g a week) so I know have plenty of milk for him.
I have been reading Baby Bliss and have been (up until today) trying this routine and settling techniques with minimal success (by minimal still taking so long to settle and he still has distressed periods during the settling process)

Any thoughts?

[chickpea]

some good points, thank you, i need to remind myself that this is not forever!

and yep, i think baby bliss will find its way to the bin very soon (the case studies are the worse...this terrible sleeper was cured by using my technique in just one day! yeah right)

[kar]

I only used baby bliss when my boy was much older, but from memory i thought she didn't recommend a routine before about 12 weeks? Prior to that just trying to get the old feed play sleep thing going (which never worked for us until F was older) and that she says newborns will need help going to sleep?

i did find that in order to sleep longer and without 45 mins of settling in arms complete with him screaming non stop my boy needed to learn to go to sleep not in my arms. we started on this from about 12 wks when I finally cracked and as his day sleep was rapidly deteriorating not getting better. Elizabeth Pantley is a good read and she has lots of free info on her web site.

[kar]

some good points, thank you, i need to remind myself that this is not forever!

and yep, i think baby bliss will find its way to the bin very soon (the case studies are the worse...this terrible sleeper was cured by using my technique in just one day! yeah right)

Oh yeah, all those books with their stories of miracle cures, what a load of cr*p

BTW, F fed an absolute maximum of 2.5 hrly during the day until he was 5 months old, this is very very normal. He still fed an average of 3 times over night/early morning. However, like Kittykristy said from about 8 weeks he would have one nice long sleep from around 7pm - midnight/1 then back to 2.5 hrly. The reason I say this is not be disheartening, but because I found it very difficult waiting for all the milestones when things were meant to get easier - 6 wks, 12 wks etc. A wise hubber told me to quit anticipating things getting better and just live with what is happening now. She told me that in her experience the real shift doesn't happen until 5-6 months and she was right in our case.

[heeeeerekittykitty]

HI Chickpea

This was my DS to a tea !!!!!!!!! First month he was wonderful , he would get put in the bassinet and just nod off to sleep and then bang , he woke up to the big wide world and begun needing mummies help to get to sleep each and every nap time. So my day was a never ending cycle of settling him to sleep then doing it all again what felt like not very long after as he was demand fed and feeding very frequent. I just accepted, this is motherhood what did you expect !! That then made it easier to deal with surprisingly.

I think your bub is doing a completely "normal"(mind you whats normal!)thing at the moment . The Healthnurse told me to let them self settle etc and the thought of that done my head in as he would just cry and I refused to do it. I think babies in their own time will just learn , and some dont learn and need alot of help from us for a long time and I think we should be there to give it.

Each baby is different but put it this way , my DS will only sleep in the stroller during the day and cannot go to sleep without me pushing it up and down ( real exciting for me NOT). I m not complaining , I choose to do this as I will not force him to go in the cot and let him cry. I am happy to help him nod off. Night time , he goes in hes cot after a bottle and bath and falls alseep all on hes own without no help whatsoever from me. And all night after every feed goes straight back to sleep on hes own. Resettles himself most of the time with me sometimes just needing to pop in the dummy .

So I think that they do change as they get older and I think it does get better. Each baby changes and develops in a different way but what you are doing now you probaly will be doing something completely different in months from now. Your bub is still really young at 5 weeks they are still so precious and tiny and really dont know there way around anything and just want mum all the time IMO.

Babybliss book done my head in , but shes lovely in regards to she does have a soft approach. I read the book and actually threw it out , literally. I spent half the day trying to resettle when I just now accept that he cat naps and will eventually sleep longer periods when he is ready.

Its amazing , at 5 weeks I couldnt ever have imagined DS not feeding every 3 hourly there was just no way , he never could get over that mark and I was just demand feeding him anytime he wanted, but now in the evenings he can go sometimes 6-7 hours before a feed. During the day is another story he is abit all over the place. But I really think in time he will stretch them out when he is ready , he is doing great , as long as he is putting on weight and happy and content I would keep doing what your doing albeit tiring sometimes I know !!

Good luck !

P.S - When he is really unsettled during the feeds etc I would just cuddle him , rock him , push him in a pram , sing to him , just give him comfort , anything to calm him down and both of you can have some quiet time together even if it means him sleeping with you on the couch while you watch tv !