How do you decide whether to find out?

**Peajae** · 15-06-2010 09:50

We didn't find out with DS, because neither of us wanted to. But this time around I really want to find out, but DH doesn't, he likes the surprise at the end.

How on earth do we decide? My scan is in 2 weeks.

How did you decide? What were your reasons for finding out or not finding out?

**Ffrenchknickers** · 15-06-2010 09:51

It was easy for me, I am just not the patient type

We have found out with our other 4 and will this time as well.

**BigRedV** · 15-06-2010 10:07

I found out because I couldn't wait. It was good. We picked out our daughter's name, called her by that name from the 20 week scan onwards and I feel it really helped me bond with her

Of course it was great to tell everyone and I got given some lovely girl clothes at my baby shower.

I also found out this time we are having a boy, however, we are finding it more difficult to choose a name so it's down to 2, we'll have to see when he's born

People argue about it ruining the surprise but it is just as exciting and as much a surprise when they tell you at the scan. Besides, the excitement is wondering when baby will be born and what they will look like!

I think if you or your husband have a preference, then perhaps findout out at ultrasound can help with disappointment you may have.

I you wnat to find out and your husband doesn't, you can always ask the sonographer to write it down on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope so you can look later

**Peajae** · 15-06-2010 10:43

Originally Posted by Refresh

It was easy for me, I am just not the patient type

Me either! I really surprised myself waiting last time

Originally Posted by lozzaaa

People argue about it ruining the surprise but it is just as exciting and as much a surprise when they tell you at the scan. Besides, the excitement is wondering when baby will be born and what they will look like!

I think if you or your husband have a preference, then perhaps findout out at ultrasound can help with disappointment you may have.

I you wnat to find out and your husband doesn't, you can always ask the sonographer to write it down on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope so you can look later

I wanted to wait last time because I thought it would be nice having the surprise after all that hard work. Unfortunately things went a little haywire and when DS was born he had to be resuscitated so we didn't actually even ask if he was a boy or girl! I just remember one of the midwives saying at some point that it's a boy.

I agree that it's just as much of a surprise finding out at the scan, only I don't have to wait as long! I've been off sick from work since 7 weeks (my body and pregnancy don't really get along). So it would be really great to find out in a couple of weeks, just as a nice experience before I still have to get through the second half of the pregnancy.

I also agree that it will be just as exciting waiting to find out what bub looks like. We know when bub will be born because i'll be having an elective caesarean.

We don't have a gender preference, I just want to know!

A friend suggested the envelope thing, but if I know i'll let it slip because I think i'd automatically say he or she from then on.

I'm thinking the only fair option is to flip a coin!

**tinker bella** · 15-06-2010 19:09

Hubby and I were the same ... I really wanted to know this time but Hubby wanted a surprise again. This is our third and final bub and as we have one of each we don't have a preference.

We didn't find out with our other babies but as this is our last I wanted to be practical and start getting rid of the clothes and stuff we won't be needing anymore. Also we are stuck for names this time around as well.

So anyway at our 18 week scan we had a look at bubsy, then Hubby left and I found out we're expecting a girl.

Only Hubby knows that I know and he was fine with me finding out. He expected me to spill the beans but I'm 25 weeks now and although I've almost slipped up once it's getting easier.

I call the baby bubsy and we're going through both names equally. I keep thinking maybe the sonographer got it wrong so I have to be happy with the boy name as well.

Good luck.

**crazymuma** · 15-06-2010 19:13

I just had to know - sort of backfired with my first though when after 3 scans saying it was definetly a girl and me buying everything pink you can imagine and I had a boy!!

With my second they asked me if I wanted to know and I didn't really care but told them to take a guess - I just bought lots of neutral clothes - they guessed right second time.

**IndigoJ** · 15-06-2010 19:50

We found out with DS because DP wanted to, and i thought it would be easier first time around so we could buy all the clothes the baby would need ect. With the next one we wont find out beasue it wont matter what gender the baby is, if its a boy we have all the stuff we need, if its a girl she can wear the unisex stuff i have and then i can go on a shopping spree after the birth

**elleandsam** · 15-06-2010 19:48

We found out the first time because I wanted to organise the nursery, we won't this time because I want the surprise.

**Beck13** · 15-06-2010 19:55

We found out first time but told everyone that we didn't find out. We figured that as it was our first everything was "unknown" so it was nice to have one thing that just the 2 of us knew. This time round I wanted a surprise but dh wanted to find out. When we went for the scan he told me that if I wanted it to be a surprise then that was fine and he could cope with that so we told the sonographer that we didn't want to know....but during the scan while she was doing the thigh measurements I got a "glimpse" of something so told her she better tell us and yes I was right. She said that he was a very proud little man and if he came out a girl I was to tell them to go back in and find the missing pieces! Although it wasn't what we planned it has been nice as we have chosen a name and ds1 has been calling him by his name already and is super excited.

**MrsBeee** · 15-06-2010 20:04

Two reasons I changed my 'definitely not finding out' stance.
Firstly because DH REALLY wanted to find out. He wanted to find out more than I didn't want to, and I knew one of us finding out and not the other just wouldn't work.
Secondly because I was becoming SO SO convinced I was having a boy. I worried that if I went through the whole pregnancy talking to and bonding with my little boy, and it turned out to be a girl, I would be disappointed.

Now, I'm really glad I did find out, because as I'd feared, she WAS a she!!

I was so incredibly surprised when the sonographer told us, I didn't believe him at first. I was a little disappointed to be honest, but probably more so because I knew DH really wanted a boy first. But as the pregnancy progressed I got really excited about having a girl, and now the both of us couldn't imagine (or want) it any other way

We did decide to tell everyone that we hadn't found out though. It was our own little secret (though we were very close to letting slip a couple of times).

Good luck with your decision!!