interim orders advice??

[seaflower]

My ex has decided to lodge an affadavit in court trying to get our interim family orders changed, only a month or so after they were made.

When we first went to court, he only brought a solicitor in at the last moment, didn't ask for holiday time to take the kids interstate to see his family, so didn't get orders about this. He starting trying to get me to agree to an interstate visit outside the orders less than 2 weeks out of court. I tried to negotiate various compromises with him, but he wanted everything.

So now, I have a decision to make. My solicitor can either rely on a precedent that says that orders shouldn't be changed if the circumstances haven't changed, but if the magistrate doesn't accept this, then I risk them agreeing to what my ex wants, which I feel is very excessive. Or I can put forward alternative proposals, but that means we have to enter into the debate, and I have to make commitments to the kids having interstate time away from me, in advance of other court processes that are meant to help us work out what is best for the kids, at a point where they have only just started having 2 night visits with their dad.

Anyone been through something similar? My solicitor says I need to give her instructions and that she can't advise which way to go. (I hate that line, I wish the experts would give an opinion sometimes).

[pegasaurus]

the good thing about orders is they are binding interstate and give you restitution rights. would you consider 48 hours interstate on condition the father is in constant supervision and pays all travel costs? perhaps on the condition of your written consent? (email okay)

it's pretty easy to build this into existing orders...

[seaflower]

He's demanding approx 9 days, for both kids including my 3 yr old. I offered him 7 days with the 4 1/2 yr old, who is very fond of her dad, but my 3 yr old has been treatly badly by her dad in the past, and is very bonded to me. To me a 9 day trip away from mum for kids this age who have recently been through a separation (and I've always been the primary care giver) seems very excessive.

[MummysYellowCar]

That's a hard one.

I don't think the courts would separate the kids- I think they would say both or none given their age. I also think 9 days is too long for both to go given they're so little.

If you were to compromise I'd be offering something like 72 hours; he pays expenses and gives you details of the travel plans etc so you can collect the kids from the airport.

[pegasaurus]

My solicitor can either rely on a precedent that says that orders shouldn't be changed if the circumstances haven't changed, but if the magistrate doesn't accept this, then I risk them agreeing to what my ex wants, which I feel is very excessive.

My understanding is that once approved, without environmental changes, consent orders are VERY hard to change. So I would instruct your solicitor to follow precedent and say No.

I am sure that your orders provide for occasional variations agreed in writing and if so, then you might offer the 72 hours you suggested without changing orders. Please feel under no pressure to offer more than you want; a mother knows her children. The law is generic. Lots of strength and hugs to you