Poll: Does your partner help around the house?

+ Reply to Thread
Page 12 of 36 FirstFirst ... 2101112131422 ... LastLast
Results 111 to 120 of 356
  1. #111
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    4,418
    Thanks
    510
    Thanked
    1,065
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Yep, all is shared around here - including getting up to the kids in the night. DH loves to cook - i usually only end up cooking 1 or 2 meals a week and one of those is always of the slow cooker variety when we both work late. The only chore I am possesive of is the washing - I am a bit obsessive about caring for our clothes and am not willing to let DH near the washing machine...

  2. #112
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    355
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked
    12
    Reviews
    0
    To all those ladies who have said 'Why do you put up with it' in response to posters who have said their partners don't do much.... I'd love to know what you suggest?

    You can't make an adult do anything they don't choose to do. You can ask, you can even demand, but if it still doesn't happen your only choice is to leave, and if someone is a good person who loves you, gives you emotional support, makes you laugh, keeps you happy....why on earth would you do that because they don't clean up enough? To me that would be crazy, especially if a family is involved.

    So any ideas as to how you can 'not put up with it' I would love to hear.

    In case you hadn't guessed my DP doesn't do a lot. He will do chores if I write him a specific list and ask him to do it, but usually only about 60% of the things on the list get done. The twist with us is I am the breadwinner, out working long hours while he is at home (he's an artists - so he is working but it isn't bringing in anything). Then I get home and cook, tidy up, deal with mail/bills etc, tidy kitchen, do a wash .....it would be so nice to get home to some of that at least done since I am exhausted from putting a roof over our heads, worrying about our finances etc.

    But all I can do is ask, and ask, and ask. I have tried just not doing it, but then I live in filth which effects my ability to function at work, which is important since it is supporting us right now. My latest thing is making him pay for a cleaner once a fortnight out of the little money he has so I don't have to do the big jobs. I am hoping that he resent paying so much he learns to do it himself to save the money 3 months later no joy with that though, but at least it's a little pressure off me.

    Would love any other suggestions... Yes, he takes me for granted a little, but he is also a lovely, lovely guy who is always there for me in every other way.

  3. #113
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    1,387
    Thanks
    1,324
    Thanked
    185
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    jellyblush whats the plan once you have a baby though? will he be a SAHD and still not help?

    my husband has changed 2 nappies all up between our 4 children.. woken up maybe a handful of times at night and ONLY if im already awake with another child.. he's shocking BUT i am a SAHM. imo this is my job & i love every second so i dont resent that at all. im lucky to not have to work. but for you to work THEN go home and do everything just doesnt seem fair at all.. i would never expect that of my husband.
    why wont your husband help? genuine question

  4. #114
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    6,982
    Thanks
    31
    Thanked
    223
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I would leave because to me it wouldn't show him as a nice person. If he loved and respected me he wouldn't tratvme like his maid. So yes if my DH didn't help I'd ask him to and explain how it makes me feel and if he didn't make an effort then it would show how little he cared. Regardless of how 'nice' he was.

  5. #115
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    355
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked
    12
    Reviews
    0
    Thanks for your responses ladies...

    Quote Originally Posted by mummaof4 View Post
    jellyblush whats the plan once you have a baby though? will he be a SAHD and still not help?
    Well, the plan is that I will go back to work part time 3 days.. He is currently building up his photography business, just starting to get some commissions, so we are hoping that he will work the days I'm home & vice versa

    i would never expect that of my husband.
    No, nor would I

    why wont your husband help? genuine question
    He does help when asked...If I leave him jobs when i go to work he will do some of those jobs..He just doesn't see things that need doing, he gets engrossed in his photography and doesn't notice the time or the things that need doing The thing is, when you work hard it's even an effort to have to keep asking and pointing out things that need doing, you know?

    So yes if my DH didn't help I'd ask him to and explain how it makes me feel and if he didn't make an effort then it would show how little he cared.
    He does make an effort, especially just after we've had a 'a talk' about it....It's just not a very good effort and it doesn't last ...

  6. #116
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Melb
    Posts
    2,482
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked
    65
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Jellyblush View Post
    To all those ladies who have said 'Why do you put up with it' in response to posters who have said their partners don't do much.... I'd love to know what you suggest?

    For me I would not have been attracted to someone who does nothing much in the first place.

    I don't believe in being taken for granted, or living in filth if I don't do anything, I guess its a personal standard we set for ourselves.

    We teach people how we want to be treated.

  7. #117
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Gold Coast
    Posts
    4,958
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked
    197
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I would never ever expect my dp to go to work then come home and do everything while I was making cakes/painting.., and if he expected the same of me(or used me in the same way because he failed to make an effort or really try) then I wouldn't stick around. Because getting a free ride to me doesn't equate to an equal partnership or worthwhile relationship. It would be an indication to me that while I struggled with everyday life, DP was living a life of leisure on the back of someone elses hard work. TO ME that kind of system wouldn't work. I need to know that we will both jump head first into the 'things that need to be done' so we can enjoy TOGETHER the things that 'want to be done' and I wouldn't have it any other way!! And I certainly wouldn't set that as the norm for DD

  8. #118
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Northern Adelaide
    Posts
    53
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0
    I have to admit my fiance IS AWESOME!!! From 12 weeks into my pregnancy he has done everything... apparently my job is to look after the baby... I was put on bed rest at 12 weeks as well... and he has been ever so helpful. Considering he works 2 jobs, had never done the cooking or washing or anything else he has grown by leaps and bounds

  9. #119
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    My hubby dose all the clothes washing and cooks dinner everynight. he is very helpful around the house. i do the rest wash dishes,make beds,vacume and mop the floors.

  10. #120
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    21,787
    Thanks
    566
    Thanked
    301
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Those of you with husbands/partners that help, do they have to be TOLD? Were they always like this or did you have to 'train' them? I am over feeling like a single parent. My partner thinks that if he helps sometimes that's enough he doesn't understand that I need help every day/night, but we have the same argument/conversation every single night cos it's always me getting the kids ready for bed, me doing the dishes (weather it's me who cooked or him) me cleaning the kitchen, me putting clothes away, me dealing with Skye's sleep problems (his idea of helping with that is yelling from the couch 'go to bed!') me that gets the kids' snacks/lunchs ready for kinder and daycare, while he lies on the couch. OMFG!!!
    Last edited by mum2bubba; 31-07-2010 at 21:01.


 

Similar Threads

  1. What exactly does your husband/partner do around the house??
    By jennibear in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 74
    Last Post: 17-06-2012, 00:39
  2. Does your DP/Hubby?
    By Brandnewbeginnings in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 16-06-2012, 12:56

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Tambo Teddies
Visit our online store and select your individually handmade natural sheepskin teddy bear. Our soft and loveable bears come in a range of styles and colours. Created in Outback Queensland each bear is unique individual. 100% Australian made!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
HuggleBib
The HuggleBib is not "just another" baby bib. Sure, your child may be a messy eater who gets more food ON them rather than IN them, so you dread cleaning after feeding times! Well the HuggleBib is THE best solution to help with all these daily tasks!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!