Do you write the story together or seperate?
Do you write the story together or seperate?
Seperately Muzzy but you both have the same questions.
Hi again, I am really enjoying reading through this conversation thread. Thanks to everyone who is sharing their experiences. I was thinking that I'd love to hear some stories from adoptive and permanent care parents about how the contacts and information exchange has gone for you? Were you able to strike up a good relationship with the parents? It would obviously vary and depend on individual personalities and circumstances but is anyone able to talk about the challenges or successes of contacts/info exchange? I have read that birth/relinquishing parents can sometimes be a bit unsure and want to "leave you to it" and not intrude even when they really do wish to see their child and stay in contact so it's really important for adoptive parents to facilitate and encourage those contacts to make the birth/relinquishing parents feel they are wanted and important. I've heard that the parents can find it very emotionally challenging so is there ongoing support with counselling for these parents before/during/after these visits?
Permanent care is probably different again with the contacts having the potential to be emotionally charged in a different way again.
Thanks in advance for sharing your insights!
Hi Jazzercise, I don't really know what the birth parents go through, or how the contact will be, however have you done the training days? I'm not sure if they're all ran the same way, but the ones we went to, they showed a clip of a birth mother and her side of the process - including the visits etc. It was very informative. If you haven't had your training days yet, hopefully you will have a chance to see that clip. Otherwise, let me know and I will search through my notes and see if I wrote down any info on the clip. If so, maybe we could find it on youtube???
I agree with adoregc, the training is really informative and often they have birth parents speak about their experiences.
We have two contact visits a year, each with bio mum and bio dad and their respective parents (DD's grandparents) and to be honest the first couple were tough; high emotion all round and DD picked up on this and was unsettled and we all kind of found our footing. But three years in and my husband and I (and DD for that matter) all catch up with them very comfortably and easily and our initial awkwardness is gone. We also send photos and updates via email a few times a year.
In other news; we received a call last week and are being placed with a little baby girl who is four months old!!!!! We are so excited and feel very lucky. We meet her next week. This adoption will be a very different adoption to our first, in that bio dad is not on the scene and bio mum does not want contact. Hopefully down the track she may change her mind and all we can do is keep that door open if ever she does.
We can't wait to meet our new baby girl. Will update again soon.
Cheers, Macks 😊😊😊😊
Omg macks!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!! That is so exciting!!! Please keep us posted!!!
I got an invitation to the training sessions!!! Very excited!!! Although its a 2.5 hour trip to get there!!!
New to the site.
Looking for options available and would really love some advice.
I can't have children, but would really love to. I am single and live alone (37yo female). I would love to adopt or permanent care for a new born to toddler and I have no idea where to start, who to contact, who is trustworthy. I have been looking into so many websites and my head is now spinning.
I work in the Building Industry and have a stable position.
I would really appreciate if anyone on here, as to where to start what to expect or just tell me straight out if I am setting myself up for major disappointment and time wasting.
What are the chances a single female can adopt? I have no partner, nor any intention of having a partner / boyfriend / husband.
Thanks in advance,
The best place to start for you as a single person is a Permanent Care information session. You could try attending one run by Catholic Care as they are statewide or look up on the DHHS website who does the sessions in your area.
Singles cannot adopt through the local infant adoption program, only couples and until very recently not even same sex couples. They seem to try to mimic the "ideal" family, even though families are all different these days (and they probably were in the past too).
It is possible but unlikely that you will be matched with an infant or toddler through permanent care. That said they just changed the legislation so that if a child is put into child protection the parents have only a limited time (like 1 year max I think) to get their **** together. This means that the children coming into permanent care may be younger going forward. The idea is to keep the kids from getting stuck in foster care placements when their parents are really showing no signs of ever getting it together for whatever reason be that drugs or alcohol. OR it could be mental health or other serious illnesses that mean they can't provide the care required and there's no other family members who can.
For an infant to be placed in permanent care he/she would need to be coming from a parent who has a history of neglect etc with their previous children. Then the baby will be placed into child protection straight away. So then they will have siblings who you may need to help them stay in contact with too.
I don't know anything much about inter country adoption and have no idea if a single can adopt through those programs so can't speak to that.
With the permanent care program as a single one of the main things you'd want to consider is if you can afford to take 12 months off work to look after the child once they are placed with you. They will look at this when you go through the approval process. So you need to have savings put aside or get ahead on your mortgage in advance. When I went to an info session there were a couple single ladies and that was their main question and concern. But there is a small financial payment available to help with costs.
They are really keen to find more suitable permanent care parents because there are so many kids in need of this permanent home. I think it's a great thing to do to help these kids get a chance to find stability and safety in their lives after what can often be quite a rocky start.
Last edited by jazzercise; 29-05-2016 at 06:52.
Lulliez have you thought about foster care? They are desperate for carers and children need homes, it wont be permanent but you will be able to make a difference for that time while they are with you! Not for everybody but might be something to consider, i do know they accept single parents!
Good luck with your journey!!!
Macks any news?
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!
Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!