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  1. #311
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    What wonderful and at the same time heartbreaking stories. I have some questions. Adoption is something I've always wanted to do, since I was a young girl and my aunt had a family of kids on permenant before adopting them. Fast forward I am now 31, and have been trying for almost 2 years with no success.

    can anyone please tell me:
    - what are the financial requirements for adoption and/or perm care?
    - I believe in Victoria one parent needs to be home for the first 12 months, can this be one that works from home?
    - what are the BMI/health requirements?

    if anyone was happy to forward me the lifestyle questions etc I'd love to receive them!

    thanks in advance!
    Last edited by erin993; 24-03-2016 at 01:23.

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    jazzercise  (20-02-2016)

  3. #312
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    From what we have been told, the birth mother gets given a selection of say 3 possible sets of patents that meet her specified requirements, but does not get given names or contact details. Once a set of parents have been chosen and the adoption process is completed, the birth mother then has access visits. I myself would beleive that a mother who had given up her child is doing so because she loves the child and wants it to have the best possible life it can.

  4. #313
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    Hello everyone I am following this thread to find out more. I just became interested in infant adoption because a colleague of mine came to work the other day talking about her brother and sister in law having just adopted a baby girl in Tassie. They were an older couple (in 40s) and weren't sure if they'd ever have a match. Apparently the birth mother was an older lady also who already had two grown up children and she didn't want to go and do it all over again with this unexpected/unplanned child. I think she was opposed to abortion so decided to adopt but I don't know for sure.

    I have been reading about the process and have seen that a lot of people here have been waiting a while and there's a lot of hoops to jump through. I think it should be strict and regulated like that and that is what attracts me to local infant adoption rather than inter country adoption. I think its great that the mothers/parents and even birth grandparents are able to stay in contact and create a relationship with their child over their life (if they want to).

  5. #314
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    I have a question for all those who are in the middle of the process or who have already adopted. At what point did you tell family and friends of your decision to adopt? As soon as you decided? When you got approved? Or at the moment a baby was matched to you - "the call" as some of you have put it. I imagine that you may need to ask family members to provide references at some point? Thanks!

  6. #315
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    Quote Originally Posted by jazzercise View Post
    I have a question for all those who are in the middle of the process or who have already adopted. At what point did you tell family and friends of your decision to adopt? As soon as you decided? When you got approved? Or at the moment a baby was matched to you - "the call" as some of you have put it. I imagine that you may need to ask family members to provide references at some point? Thanks!
    Both sides of our family and our extended family know we have been approved for adoption, as do our close friends. It was in important step for me telling everybody, partly to acknowledge our infertility and partly for the support. We have had 100% support with our journey which is amazing. They are also aware that with adoption we will not be telling them any of the circumstances which led our child to be adopted, and are still willing to embrace any new family member we may get

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    jazzercise  (23-02-2016)

  8. #316
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    Thanks for your reply Walhalla. I am just wondering about your decision to not tell any of the circumstances? Do you mean the circumstances of the birth mother or something else? Is there a reason you think it is better to keep it private. Thanks

  9. #317
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    It is for the confidentiality of the birth family and out of respect for them and their decision to place their child for adoption. In some cases the reason may be associated with trauma or elicit a judgmental response. We would not want that for our child or their relationship with their birth family.

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  11. #318
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    The department recommends it in a lot of cases as they see it as the child's story to tell if and when they want to.

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    jazzercise  (23-02-2016)

  13. #319
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    Hi Jazzersize,
    We told our family and close friends from the start. For us, we found them great support going through the process. We told our work at time of approval so they knew we could potentially be placed at any time. We didn't get much notice once we were placed and I only had two and a half days to finish up at work for maternity leave. I really felt for the lady I had to hurriedly hand over to!
    Yes, you may need references from family. We had to provide 1 X work, 1 X friend and 1 X family reference as part of our application. Best of luck.
    Macks. 😀

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    jazzercise  (23-02-2016)

  15. #320
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    Quote Originally Posted by erin993 View Post
    What wonderful and at the same time heartbreaking stories. I have some questions. Adoption is something I've always wanted to do, since I was a young girl and my aunt had a family of kids on permenant care before adopting them. Anyway, I twice fell pregnant in my younger years, both times on the pill and in a relationship but at 17 and 19 not ready to start a family. Fast forward I am now 31, and have been trying for almost 2 years with no success.

    can anyone tell me:

    - will previous terminations be detrimental?
    - what are the financial requirements for adoption and/or perm care?
    - I believe in Victoria one parent needs to be home for the first 12 months, can this be one that works from home?
    - what are the BMI/health requirements?

    if anyone was happy to forward me the lifestyle questions etc I'd love to receive them!

    thanks in advance!
    Hi Erin,
    Sorry to hear of your struggles to get pregnant.
    I can't imagine previous terminations would be viewed negatively. We all think and feel differently as we pass through stages of our life and I would think they would understand that.
    Financially, I think you just have to be able to provide the standard baby and child requirements and that you and/or your partner are in a stable job to provide comfortably. I don't know the magic number but I'm sure they have one.
    I think they require you to stay home from work for twelve months not working. Having said that, I have a friend who also worked from home and she just eased back into some part time hours as she felt comfortable.
    Not too sure what BMI requirements are sorry although I do know it is considered and good health is also considered.
    I had several various questions too before starting and rang the agency and they could answer most of them there and then. I may have just been lucky though and got someone who could answer them all 😉
    All the best. Macks


 

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