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  1. #91
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    Hi Macks- thanks for the link. It looks like there is only one more session being ran this year and I was told that there are waiting lists so Id say we will be looking at 2014.


    Hi Bubbles, I didn't think your post came across as negative. I think we have run into the same problems as you did as it is coming to the end of the year. I don't mind that it may be a few months away before we can go but I would hate to wait 6 + months to get into one and then decide it is not for us. At this point I feel confident that this is the path we will take. For the first time in a long time I am excited about what the future may hold for us.

    I have just a couple of more questions if anyone is able to help.

    I think I read somewhere, maybe in one of the brochures I was sent that it was strongly encouraged for you to attend counseling. I have never had counseling before and don't particularly feel like I need it. I have a great support network and have always been very open with my close friends/family. Since we have decided to leave IVF behind us, I feel a great weight has been lifted. Will it be frowned upon it we don't go to any counseling?

    Also my DP and I have been together almost 8 years but we are not married. We have talked about marriage in the past but because neither of us are particularly religious we haven't felt a real big need to do so. Now we are looking at adoption/PC, I wonder if being married might give us a better chance? Any thoughts?

    Also, for the past few years we have been renovating our house in hopes to sell and upgrade. This will probably happen in the next 12 months to 2 years. Is this likely to cause us any problems with applying for adoption??

    Sorry for all the questions. I just like to do my research and be prepared.

    I am so glad I found this forum also. I was a very active poster on an IVF forum but once we decided to leave that behind us, I was a little lost as it seems there is not as much support for those who walk away.

    Thanks Again
    BB

  2. #92
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    Hi Billybob,

    My knowledge and experience is a little limited as we have only just sent in our kit, however, during our training sessions, the facilitators spent quite some time on infertility, grief and loss. They did say that this topic would also be the focus of discussions during the interview stage to gauge how ready people are to parent a child who is not biologically theirs. They also mentioned that if they notice that a couple is still grieving they may suggest that they undertake counseling sessions before continuing with the next stage of the process. I don't remember them suggesting that all couples should attend counseling at some stage.

    Hope that helps. As for the other questions you had, I'm really not sure.

    Take care,

    Bubbles

  3. #93
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    Default New to infant adoption victoria

    Hi everyone
    my hubby and i have just recieved an invitation to attend the information session for infant adoption victoria.
    We are very excited and were curious on some questions or information some of you have or had when going through this process..
    erin and rob

  4. #94
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    Welcome Erin and Rob

    My hubby and I were approved for local infant adoption last month. It was and still is a very exciting time as we now wait for the phone call to say we have been matched with a baby.

    Please shoot through questions you have and I will do my best to answer them. I know when we first started the process I had no idea how it all worked but everyone on here was so helpful and generous with their time in sharing their knowledge and experience with me.

    The process is straight forward and thorough and compared to any fertility treatments you may have had, it is a breeze. The hardest part for us was waiting to be allocated a social worker however looking back now it wasn't so bad.

    Take care

    gusandmeg
    Last edited by gusandmeg; 22-10-2013 at 18:50.

  5. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billybob1 View Post
    Hi Macks- thanks for the link. It looks like there is only one more session being ran this year and I was told that there are waiting lists so Id say we will be looking at 2014.


    Hi Bubbles, I didn't think your post came across as negative. I think we have run into the same problems as you did as it is coming to the end of the year. I don't mind that it may be a few months away before we can go but I would hate to wait 6 + months to get into one and then decide it is not for us. At this point I feel confident that this is the path we will take. For the first time in a long time I am excited about what the future may hold for us.

    I have just a couple of more questions if anyone is able to help.

    I think I read somewhere, maybe in one of the brochures I was sent that it was strongly encouraged for you to attend counseling. I have never had counseling before and don't particularly feel like I need it. I have a great support network and have always been very open with my close friends/family. Since we have decided to leave IVF behind us, I feel a great weight has been lifted. Will it be frowned upon it we don't go to any counseling?

    Also my DP and I have been together almost 8 years but we are not married. We have talked about marriage in the past but because neither of us are particularly religious we haven't felt a real big need to do so. Now we are looking at adoption/PC, I wonder if being married might give us a better chance? Any thoughts?

    Also, for the past few years we have been renovating our house in hopes to sell and upgrade. This will probably happen in the next 12 months to 2 years. Is this likely to cause us any problems with applying for adoption??

    Sorry for all the questions. I just like to do my research and be prepared.

    I am so glad I found this forum also. I was a very active poster on an IVF forum but once we decided to leave that behind us, I was a little lost as it seems there is not as much support for those who walk away.

    Thanks Again
    BB

    Hi BB,

    Ask all the questions you like, I remember I had heaps too!

    I remember I read that about counselling too and we were just on the six month mark from finishing IVF. We never heard any more of it and no one ever told us we had to do counselling. We were pretty happy to end the IVF journey and like you felt a real weight off our shoulders once we decided.

    Regarding your query on marriage. I think from what I could tell they just want to be sure you are in a strong and stable relationship. Eight years is a long time and you have very valid reasons for not marrying so I would think they would acknowledge this.


    I know they spoke to us about staying put just after a placement to assist the child to settle and feel comfortable..not sure about this one.

    One thing I learnt was to be pretty upfront about everything with your case worker. If you get a good case worker you end up forming a pretty honest and respectful relationship and they can offer you good advice.

    All the best and please do stay in touch if you have any more questions.

    Cheers, Macks

  6. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by randeazza View Post
    Hi everyone
    my hubby and i have just recieved an invitation to attend the information session for infant adoption victoria.
    We are very excited and were curious on some questions or information some of you have or had when going through this process..
    erin and rob

    Wecome Erin and Rob,

    Exciting times for you two! Ask all the questions you like. My husband and I started the process with hesitation and doubt and it seemed everything we read and heard was negative. That was over a year and a half years ago.

    I'm pleased to say we have adopted a baby girl and we were very lucky to only wait three months after approval. We are not alone either, out of the three other couples from my training that I kept in touch with, they all have adorable bubs. They waited from three and a half months to seven months for placement and all of the babies were around the three to four month age. It DOES happen!!!

    Cheers, Macks

  7. #97
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    Hi Gus and Meg,

    That is wonderful news. We are to attend our information session on the 11th of Novemer so we are very excited to take this new journey.
    It seems to be a straight forward approach in adopting an infant here in Vic.
    Would love to keep in touch to hear how your journey folds out.

  8. #98
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    Hi Macks,
    That is wonderful news. Thank you for welcoming us to the forum. We are very excited to start this journey, but have so many questions and really needed to speak to others who have also been or are going through this journey.
    We will attend our information session on the 11th of November. and have begun to write out some questions to ask at the information session.

    Hope its ok if i place some of our questions in this post.

    Just curious as to what the info session involves?
    Were you allowed to name your baby girl?
    Would they be approving of us living with my husbands parents as we are planning on staying here for 2 years to save for our own home?
    How soon did you have to buy items in order to have your baby girl or were you well prepared?

    Hope theres not too many there.

    Thanks
    Erin and Rob

  9. #99
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    HI Everyone,
    Another post here i go ive been reading a few more of your posts and noticed many of your ages ( not that its a bad thing) but hubby and i are young, hubby is 26 on thursday and i am 24. hope our age isnt a bad thing.
    We had been trying since i was 19 but nothing was happening and hubby was found to be sterile and i have PCOS so we decided to take the journey of infant adoption. To give another baby the love they needed and a solid home and family life.

    Erin and Rob

  10. #100
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    Hi Randeazza, although I didn't adopt in Vic I imagine a lot of the education is the same. We have 2 older kids adopted internationally and started the domestic process last year before deciding to try IVF (and getting pregnant)! When we did the ACT education sessions in April 2012 we were given two enormous compiled books to read of articles, info on the history of adoption in Aust, questions to think about and discuss before the home visits, information from adopted adults, teens & children and a loooong recommended reading list. That was in addition to the information sessions, writing our life story etc.

    In the ACT they require that one person be a stay-at-home parent for at least 12 months if the child is not school aged. I have friends that got permission for that person to be a grandparent (that lived with them full time), so it might actually work in your favour that you will be with extended family down the track - it certainly shows good family support.

    You might find the grandparents will be asked to also attend some info sessions if they are going to be intimately involved in the child-caring. My mother lives in another state so she didn't have to. But regardless I found I had to do quite a bit of "education" with her, as her attitudes towards adoption were very 1970s and not really appropriate to today's situations.

    Good luck at the info session.


 

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