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  1. #41
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    Can I just add another example into the mix of this discussion which might be a bit closer to home for some. DH is adopted and has always known that to be the case for as long as he can remember. I guess you never know what curveballs life is going to throw but for us ours is that we now need to embark on PGD and are required to undergo genetic counselling, DNA testing etc. Imagine if he had not known his circumstances and found out via this process. The results of this testing may lead to us needing either egg or sperm donation and we will deal with that as we face it but I can’t imagine dh also having to learn that information at the same time.

  2. #42
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    Hi All,

    I'm very new here, but have been reading all of your stories. After 14 months of trying, my DH & I went & had some tests done. We have now just seen our FS for the 2nd time, & will be commencing ISCI treatment in the next couple of months.

    DH has a very low count (1st SA was 5, last one was 6), as well as really low motility. Thankfully all my tests came back ok, I don't think I could have handled the double whammy!

    It's all really overwhelming at the moment, & I'm still trying to get my head around it, but I'm excited that at least we have some next steps lined up, & aren't just treading water waiting, waiting, waiting...

    I am so happy to see that so many of you have had success despite dealing with MFI, it is really reassuring that we might just be that lucky too

  3. #43
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    I keep losing my posts here lately. Annoying!

    Thanks for all your posts on the tests you had done. I think our FS is correct and there aren't any more that can be done on DP's sperm.

    Would I be right in assuming you picked up your translocations and micro-deletions through Karyotype testing? (TNT - I think you in particular mentioned translocations?)

    I think we are in an unusual situation where we've had the Karyotype testing on DP (and I) and it was fine. So his own chromosomes are all ok, it's just those of his sperm that have problems (and not all of his sperm either - just a lot more than normal). Unusual, but it looks like we just have to accept it.

    We need to have the chat about donor sperm in the next week. It's so sad. DP knows we need to talk about it, but neither of us have the strength quite yet to bring it up after our last failed cycle. It will happen though. DP just phoned to tell me he wants to talk about it tonight... but then he's said that for the last few nights and when it gets to the time he's just not up to it. I just can't face pushing him into the conversation right now though. I'll wait till he's completely ready.

    So sad...

    EmmaDeeWhy - thanks for the tip on WFC, much appreciated. I actually phoned SIVF. They weren't very helpful.

    I also spoke to my clinic in my hometown of Brisbane and they led me to believe it was a lot easier and they suggested they even have stocks right now. I will have to look into that as well.

  4. #44
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    Penny - my DH and I had to confront that topic too and I too had to wait until he was ready to discuss the topic of Donor Sperm. It's such a sensitive thing to face up to and it takes a lot of strength to overcome your personal need to father a biological child and accept that it won't happen and that being a father is more than just DNA. I just wanted to share with you that while my DH did struggle for a short while after the shock of it all, he eventually turned around and admitted the desire to be a father out weighed any personal desire for a DNA connection. We now have the most amazing little boy and my DH adores his son to bits. He is so attentive and neither one of us have any issues with how it happened. Our families and friends are so supportive and although they know the how and why of it all, they also know that DH is the father in every way that counts. I wish you luck for your future cycles

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  6. #45
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    Thanks Nikki,

    And congrats on your new little one! You must be over the moon right now!

    Your story (as with all these positive stories) gives me so much hope!

    Thanks for sharing it and thanks for your good wishes.

  7. #46
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    Penny I hope everyting goes ok tonight with DP - I imagine there will be lots of tears

    MrsL how did your blood test go?

    YY for what it's worth I didn't think your post was upsetting at all - all anyone here is doing is expressing differing opinions and their own opinions. Personally I think in this day and age and going forward people will find out these things whether you want them to or not and I would prefer it be me to tell my children rather than have them find out by accident and possibly lose their trust. But that's just my view and not a judgment on anyone else..

  8. #47
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    Hi guys,

    BT came back negative i'm afraid . we have one frosty left from 07 but i am so scared it won't survive the thaw when it comes to that crucial morning that i'm going back for another round of ICSI. dreading it actually.

    wow its been a really interesting read about donor sperm. As we only have a certain amount of frozen sperm if we happen to use it all without success then i guess we would have to head down the donor path. i asked DH about this once and he said he wouldn't be comfortable with it. His reaction worried me but after redaing your posts i realise this is very normal and most men will need time to 'accept it' and 'come around to it'. i guess we'll never know unless we are put in the position.

  9. #48
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    I'm so sorry MrsL .

    Take care of yourself.

  10. #49
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    Moo79, and welcome!

    Was your DH SA 5 or 5 million?

    My DH was just 4. They have done all the blood tests they can think of and have found nothing. There are also no blockages. My DH is a little overweight and does like his alcohol so we are seeing if we cut back completely on the alcohol and he loses some weight whether this will help along his sperm.
    When we did the first SA it came back with zero sperm and when we did the second SA (that came back with 4 sperm) he had cut back on the alcohol.

    I hope you journey is a short one!

    Sending your way.

    Megan

  11. #50
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    Thanks for the welcome Megan!

    DH's count was 5 million the first time & 6m the 2nd time, so I'm hoping that ICSI works for us first time.

    Hopefully ICSI will work for you too! I completely understand when you say your DH was "woe is me" for a while - mine was the same. But I keep telling him that everything happens for a reason, & we're in this together. When he read what the ICSI process involves, he kept apologising to me for what I'll have to do, but I've told him that we will do whatever we have to, & I dont want to hear him apologise anymore.

    DH is a little overweight, & enjoys a drink or 3, & I have encouraged him to cut back, but it's taken the FS to say that alcohol, caffeine, & cigarettes absolutely play a factor for him to realise he has to cut back. He gave up smoking 3 months ago now, & has been so good at sticking to it! Now we're both completely off alcohol, & I have him finally joining my health kick. So hoping that it makes a difference.

    I figure we've got 2 months till our ICSI treatment, so that's 2 months of healthy living that should do something, right??


 

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