Wow, what a great response to this thread. I'm so pleased you all came and shared your stories! Sounds like this is much needed.
And so much success! You ladies are definately an inspiration to those of us still on the journey.
It's seems there's a lot of discussion on donor sperm and whether the change in laws in VIC and NSW are 'fair' or not. I'd love to think we'll be able to be open to lots of different views here. I've seen a lot of forums where it's 'anything less than open, known donation is a very bad thing'.
I totally support those who go for open, known donation. I think it's a wonderful thing. But the reality is that it's meant there are a lot less donors (both egg and sperm) to go around.
I'm not quite sure I'm there yet with the - if my child can't meet their genetic donor, then they shouldn't be born - theory though. I think it's horses for courses. Most people who get this far will be wonderful loving parents and I think that's the most important part for a child. It seems the research supports 'telling' over 'not telling' and I lean that way too. But if my child wasn't able to meet their donor down the track, I'm not sure it would be the end of the road for us. Let's face it, the child may not wish to meet them, or even if they were 'known', they have to actually keep in contact if they move over time to stay 'known'. And we also know from adoption stories that 'meeting those who begot you' doesn't always have a happy ending.
Don't get me wrong, if you get the opportunity to do known, open donation, I think it's great! And possibly for the best (not sure 'best' is quite the right word though but it's all I can think of at the mo).
I rang a NSW clinic about sperm donors yesterday and they pretty much gave me the 'no hope' conversation. I find it really sad that it's so negative, just at a stage where people's emotional energy is completely depleted too! Do I really have to find some random person (probably by scouring the internet) to be give the genetic gametes to my child? Somehow I'd just rather they were screened by an agency first if I couldn't find someone who I had some sort of 'connection' with. Does that sound odd?
I really hope our path becomes known to us soon. It's the not knowing the future part that's so hard!
Can anyone tell me tests they've had on sperm to find out issues. So far I'm aware of:
Sperm Chromatin Assay Structure Assay (SCASA)
Chromosomal study (FISH test).
Have you guys had any others done?
And I'd love to hear more about your journeys. Keep it coming!