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  1. #151
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    thoughts are with you. My hubby and I found out the same thing 12 months ago. He has started hormone treatment for the condition that caused it but we are going to need to use donor sperm -not easy to get your head around. If anything this outcome has bought us closer as a couple and we are in councelling to try to deal with it all. All I can say is cry together, lots of huggs, talk to each other when you can, sit in silence when needed and most of all don't blame each other. One thing I have realised is this is out TTC mess not his and not mine but ours and the only way through is together. Love to you both, you may feel alone at the moment but your not other couples like you are out there. xoxo

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    OptimisticAussie  (09-03-2013)

  3. #152
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    it has taken my hubby 10 months to even talk about donor sperm. Give him time to process the whole thing.

  4. #153
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    littlesunflowers is offline It's not about the seeds - it's how you grow the flowers
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    We had our first TESA today, with EPU ready to go if sperm was found...but none was. A sample was sent for biopsy but the FS says it's likely to come back with nothing.

    So it looks like we are onto donor sperm, something I am glad we started discussing 6 months ago. Does anyone know of any BH threads for couples TTC, or parenting children, conceived with a donor? I had a look and can't see any but I figured some of you here would know if there was one.

  5. #154
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    Hi all, I'm new to bub hub and have been reading everyone's posts over the last couple of months. I'm 31 and live in Sydney. TTC for 1.5 years. I'm OK fertility wise, had a Hy Co Sy (painful!) and my tubes are fine and everything else OK. But just received my partners second SA and it's worse than the first one. He has 10% slow motility and 2% morphology. Westmead IVF Dr said we are candidates for ICSI. My partner needs to get a testicular ultrasound (to rule out anything nasty that could be causing this low result) and blood tests first and then we are going to take these results to a urologist (Dr Golovsky) and see what he says. Not sure what to think at this point in time and I don't want to tell friends in case they don't agree with us doing IVF. They have all fallen pregnant easily or are on to their second and third pregnancies. I can't even go to baby showers now it upsets me that much. But feels better reading all of your stories and knowing we aren't the only ones going through this. My partner hasn't said much at all but has agreed that if we need to do IVF then that's what he will do. Any stories of success out there that will cheer me up at this point in time would be much appreciated. Thanks!

  6. #155
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    I'm new to this forum, and am so glad that I stumbled across it. I kind of wish I found it 9 months ago, as here are my top tips that I would have like to have been given when we started TTC just over a year ago:

    * don't wait 3 months to get your GP to run blood tests etc AND get them done on both you and DH. Originally GP said to just buy an ovulation kit from the chemist - if only I'd known!!

    * if DH has MFI (e.g. no sperm) go to one of the clinics that do "anonymous" donor sperm, as well as "known" donor sperm. I believe there's only three in Sydney that do "anonymous" donor sperm - Fertility First, IVF Australia and Fertility East. Changing clinics, having to re-tell our entire story, getting new referrals etc is tiring.

    * make appointments early for MFI specialists Dr Lok and Dr Golovsky - they both come highly recommended, but I'm not way happy having to wait 3 weeks to see Dr Lok and 9 weeks to see Dr Golovsky. Hard to make decisions when we have to wait so long just for a consultation.

    * IVF Australia has a 3 month waiting period and charges $100 to access their donor sperm list, while Fertility First has no waiting list, it's free and they gave us a copy of the present donor list straightaway to give us an idea. Why such a discrepancy?

    OK, hope that might help some others who might be in a similar boat to us.

  7. #156
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    Hi MCG Bertie - welcome! Sorry to hear of your situation. I understand how frustrating all the waiting is, especially when you feel that time is of the essence.

    To answer some of your queries:

    We have seen both Dr Lok and Dr Golovsky. I'd recommend waiting for Dr G. He is actually a urologist and is a true specialist in this area. Dr Lok is a gyno/FS who has developed a special interest in male factor. He didn't run several tests that Dr G ran as standard straight away. Dr G is really the expert in this area. My DH also recovered better from a more invasive surgery by Dr G than the biopsy by Dr Lok, leading us to think that Dr G is probably a better surgeon. He's certainly regarded as one of the top world experts in male infertility.

    To that end, Dr G works out of IVFA, who do anon sperm. Genea do not. Yes, Fertility First do anon sperm and have no waiting list - but do you know for sure you want donor sperm, or is there a chance of hope for your DH?

    IVFA tell you 3 months to cover themselves, but it's really not that long. We had to wait 2 months from getting on the list to choosing a donor, earlier this year. However time was wasted getting us onto the list. Pay the money to get on the list straight away when you first speak to them. What's $100 really? Unfortunately nobody mentioned that until we'd already waited a while & seen Dr G twice. Ask about it straight away, so at least that time is ticking over while you're waiting for appointments etc. That was my biggest frustration.

    Good luck!!!

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    MGC Bertie  (02-11-2012)

  9. #157
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    "Peoniesarepretty" - thank you so much. Yes, I now want as many fingers in the pie as possible, so we paid the $100 straight away. Well, that's what I thought we did. Said to the IVFA receptionist that we wanted to go on the list, so she gave us an information booklet, we paid our bill and left. On the way home I looked at the receipt as I thought it was cheap, only to find she'd only billed us for the consultation and not to go on the list!! As it was gone 5pm I phoned back the next day and paid the $100 over the phone. I got a receipt a couple of days later, but hope that she has actually put us on the list, and not just taken the $100.

    Anyhow, we will definitely not do anything until we've seen both Dr Lok and Dr Golovosky, and I do thank you so very much for advice, so I'm way more thinking that Dr Golovosky will be our last chance to have a natural baby. But we are very prepared and determined to have the anon donor sperm lined up for the day. A part of me just wants to get on this journey

    Thanks very much again for replying. I felt like I was the only one in the whole world in this situation (I know no-one in the "real" world who has had IVF to have a baby, let alone needing donor sperm), so since finding this forum and googling like mad, I realise that there's a lot more people out there. It's weird, I kind of feel like I've joined a very special club, that sets me apart from my "normal baby making friends and colleagues".

  10. #158
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    MGC - good luck with it all! One thing I have learned about IVFA, that I'll share for nothing, is that admin-wise they are totally hopeless. The doctors are great, but for admin it's a comedy of errors (except it's not funny). Double check everything, and be really really clear about what you're asking. If I were you, just make sure they haven't randomly taken $100 from you but not done anything about it, I would ring up again today and really clearly just confirm that you are on the waiting list, yes? Your time is ticking over from now? (The Kiwi receptionist is the most helpful, in the city) You should get an email from a lady called Kirsty if you have been put on the list. She runs the donor list.

    Is it the city clinic you're dealing with? I'm assuming it is if you're waiting to see Dr G. Have you also made an appointment to see an FS for you? Dr G will only worry about your DH, but you'll need to see someone else to talk about you & what sort of treatment plan they want to proceed with for you. It's good to have all your ducks in a row, so you can be ready to proceed as soon as you've seen Dr G.

  11. #159
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    Default Male Factor Infertility Chat

    Hi MG
    Just for a different opinion I am with IVFA too and havent had any probs with their admin (and FS excellent)
    I haven't had the same issues as peonies so it may depend on which office you deal with . I'm with the Bondi clinic .

  12. #160
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    Oh yeah, I think it's just the city clinic.


 

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