** possibly distressing ** help me understand

**keevs** · 17-04-2010 21:48

my autistic nephew just drowned his dog. its so upsetting. my sister has given up and said she just can't handle him anymore and he's been given to my nan. please help me get some insight from other mums of autistic kids? he has autism and adhd.

**pinkfluffymarshmellows** · 17-04-2010 21:50

gosh that is awful your poor sister and her son , it is tough

i dont know how severe his autism is but sounds bad to of done that, i dont know a lot about the subject but when i was a nanny for triplets one of them had mild autism , it was very frustrating at times , i can understand why your sister is feeling like she cant cope

**melinc** · 17-04-2010 21:54

that is just so sad on both counts.

i was talking to a mum recently of an autistic child. apparently he wasn't
diagnosed properly until about 2 years of age, and unfortunately the help
just wasn't readily available.

she started with her local CHN and got contacts and info from there
and today, one year on she has a fantastic support group and friends made
thru it.

so there's a starting point. i wish you the best.

mel x

**keevs** · 17-04-2010 21:54

he has a bad case. he has other problems too, lazy eyes and undeceded testes. shes a single mum too. is this a normal trait for autism?

**MummaBear03** · 17-04-2010 23:00

I wouldn't say anything is necessary "normal" for an autistic child since it's such a complex condition.

I haven't personally come across it despite coming into contact with many autistic children including my own. My daughter is very protective of animals.

Her father apparently has Asperger's Syndrome along with other things and he was cruel to animals as a child.

The last thing you want is for his mother to give up. It's hard work, believe me I know, I'm a single mum to an autistic child and I know how hard it is but you can't give up because that's when things can go bad fast.

I can't give much advice, my brain fell asleep about 20 minutes ago but couldn't leave this without responding.

I wish your sister all the best with this and hope she finds the help and support she and her son need.

**Pinkzy** · 17-04-2010 23:04

to you and your sister. I can't even imagine what your sister would be going through right now.

**ManekiNeko** · 18-04-2010 00:50

I think it's probably more common than people think. I think for autistic children who are rough with or that hurt animals it has alot to do with lack of control and understanding of the situation. My DD is very rough with animals and her younger sibling she often hurts them. She knows what she is doing is wrong but it's as if she just gets so caught up she can't stop and she appears to lack empathy in certain situations. I mean I could be wrong but that's jsut my take on the issue.

**josie and the pussycats** · 18-04-2010 09:54

That is very sad and so hard for your sister. I have worked with a lot of autistic children in my job and i have to admit that it is the one thing i fear for my child once he is born. There is no normal. Each case is unique. That is part of what makes it all so complicated.

**kiwibird27** · 18-04-2010 19:15

Autism is so different from child to child.. they don't understand empathy or pain, or understand that death is sad, Probably drowning the dog was more of an interesting thing to do than to actually kill it. I could recommend anyone who is struggling with an autistic child call the autism advisor in your state.. they are there to guid and ensure you have the therapy needed

I don't believe a normal person can possibly understand an autistic persons perspective, a world where you are guided by your senses, people and living things are simply objects and the world is confusing

**mummy2sophie** · 20-04-2010 08:18

I'm guessing that the child's intention was to not actually drown the dog. My friend's boy (also autistic) has undersensitive sense of touch. When he pats an animal he presses hard in order to be able to feel it's fur better. Perhaps the boy was simply intending to "help" the dog drink some water or trying to give it a cuddle.

It's easy to misunderstand an autistic. Their brains are wired differently to ours. There's great treatment and support out there...I'd encourage the whole family to help out.