+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15
  1. #1
    3'llhavetodo's Avatar
    3'llhavetodo is offline Before we as mothers can look after our loved ones we must first look after ourselves
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    closer to insanity of late
    Posts
    1,464
    Thanks
    33
    Thanked
    90
    Reviews
    0

    Unhappy So... what now???

    So I think I have officially decided to leave.

    What now?

    We don't really have much $$ behind for me to move out. And I don't think the real estate will want to rent to me anyway as I'm pretty much a SAHM.

    Ahhhh where do I start?
    Me '78 DH '76
    DS 3/11/04 DD 12/12/05 DS 1/6/09

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Wollongong, NSW
    Posts
    7,280
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    6
    Reviews
    1
    what makes you think the realestate wont rent to you?
    they cant not do that casue you're a sahm

    have you spoken to centrelink about payments?

    i was a single mum for three years and still got a house being a sahm with 2 kids

    its hard its very hard but it can be and is done by alot of people
    It's a woman's choice what she does with her own body, but when she is entrusted with the care of another life, whether in her womb or as a newborn, she has an added responsibility.
    The importance of this should be far greater than her own needs.

    24/12/06 Rylan Jonathon & 27/09/08 Ezekiel Arthur & Hazelle Mary 06/08/2010
    my homebirthed girl

    Cloth bum, co-sleeping, boobiefed beautiful babies

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Redlands, QLD
    Posts
    7,086
    Thanks
    183
    Thanked
    69
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by 3'llhavetodo View Post
    So I think I have officially decided to leave.

    What now?

    We don't really have much $$ behind for me to move out. And I don't think the real estate will want to rent to me anyway as I'm pretty much a SAHM.

    Ahhhh where do I start?
    where do you want to live? perhaps some here may be able to give practical support by recommending suburbs/areas that have cheap rentals
    I am the old lady that lives in the shoe that has so many children and is lost what to do ... some days

  4. #4
    Tam-I-Am's Avatar
    Tam-I-Am is offline Winner 2009 - Most Helpful Member Award
    Winner 2007 The most helpful moderator/admin award
    2008 AWARD WINNER - The most polite member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    In front of the computer....Der!
    Posts
    19,563
    Thanks
    369
    Thanked
    1,594
    Reviews
    1
    First step, contact Centrelink. Make an appointment with a social worker to make sure that they can talk through all your options with you. Also contact Child Support Agency and inform them of your newly-single status. They will backdate payments to the date that you left, so you need to do that ASAP (only applies if you intend to have CSA collect for you. If you have a private arrangement and decide later to get CSA to collect, they can only collect from the date that you change the arrangement).

    Look into any specialist women's domestic violence/victims of crime services in your region. They can be immensely helpful, especially in setting up counselling for you and provision of interim services. Salvation Army is also really good for this. If you want counselling but don't want to go the above route, make an appointment with your GP and have a Mental Health Plan done and get a referral to a psych - it will entitle you to 12 - 18 rebated sessions with a psychologist under Medicare. You may have a small out-of-pocket expense.

    Contact the real estate agent and find out what the requirements for applying for a rental are, and get the rental lists. Get the required documents together.

    At home, put together an emergency stash of things just in case things turn nasty. Put any precious photos, important documents like birth certificates, essential clothes, as much money as you can get together etc, and pack them so that they're easy to grab. Keep your mobile phone and car keys on you, or close to you at all times.

    And take care of yourself.
    "Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." -Elizabeth Stone

  5. #5
    3'llhavetodo's Avatar
    3'llhavetodo is offline Before we as mothers can look after our loved ones we must first look after ourselves
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    closer to insanity of late
    Posts
    1,464
    Thanks
    33
    Thanked
    90
    Reviews
    0
    Wow Ok I start Monday

    Do I have to have physically moved out to do all the official separation stuff
    Me '78 DH '76
    DS 3/11/04 DD 12/12/05 DS 1/6/09

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Redlands, QLD
    Posts
    7,086
    Thanks
    183
    Thanked
    69
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by 3'llhavetodo View Post
    Wow Ok I start Monday

    Do I have to have physically moved out to do all the official separation stuff
    I am pretty sure with centrelink you do.
    I am the old lady that lives in the shoe that has so many children and is lost what to do ... some days

  7. #7
    3'llhavetodo's Avatar
    3'llhavetodo is offline Before we as mothers can look after our loved ones we must first look after ourselves
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    closer to insanity of late
    Posts
    1,464
    Thanks
    33
    Thanked
    90
    Reviews
    0
    GR8
    Me '78 DH '76
    DS 3/11/04 DD 12/12/05 DS 1/6/09

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    7,075
    Thanks
    37
    Thanked
    227
    Reviews
    0
    No you dont have to be moved out. I think its called separated under the same roof or something like that. You do need to be separated though so sleeping in different beds or on the couch and not doing his laundry etc, living separate lives.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Redlands, QLD
    Posts
    7,086
    Thanks
    183
    Thanked
    69
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Amara View Post
    No you dont have to be moved out. I think its called separated under the same roof or something like that. You do need to be separated though so sleeping in different beds or on the couch and not doing his laundry etc, living separate lives.
    Never used to be that way, when did that change?
    I am the old lady that lives in the shoe that has so many children and is lost what to do ... some days

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Gold Coast
    Posts
    354
    Thanks
    81
    Thanked
    25
    Reviews
    0
    As a sole parent, the best advice I can give is to take small steps, take it one day at a time. It can seem like an impossible task sometimes and it's easy to get overwhelmed (especially with all the nonsensical paperwork the Govt have you fill out), but you've taken the first step and that's the most important thing. Onwards and upwards from here.

    There are lots of members here who care about and want to help you, that's plain to see. Best of luck with your new path
    Last edited by Bountiful; 10-04-2010 at 14:41.
    Mum to DS 2006 and new addition DD 1/10/11
    emerg. C/S survivor, ex- breastfeeder now bottle-feeding, co-sleeper
    and single mum by choice









 

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

directory quick search

postcode / advanced search basic search

 

who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!


forum - chatting now
 
can you help?
new stuff
The US Toy of the Year is now in Australia. CloudB's Tranquil Turtle will definitely be a family favourite. Projecting gentle underwater images and playing the soothing sounds of the sea makes for a super serene sleep space.
sales & discounts
Gymboree is the global leader in early childhood development programs for infants and children from birth to 5 years. We offer 45 minute classes in Play & Learn, Art and Music. Hurry only available until 8th June! T & C's apply.
Phone 3878 2468 to book and mention this ad.