I get what you mean about the yo-yoing. Im not as bad, I dont have to sell my house or anything (I dont even own one!) but the finance side of it is getting me down. We cant afford my 200 pram that I wanted, or anything for the baby at all. I cried for days. Feeling better now though, Im taking it one fortnight at a time. DP has ten more pays until the baby comes, and the end of financial year. I just have to keep telling myself that we can last that long.
Hey ladies I just saw the thread Im 21 weeks atm and am incredibly down. I'm actually as we speak sitting at the hospital trying to get some help or a referal as my doc doesn't take me seriously. I guess my main stress is the father took off as soon as he found out won't even see me for an hour to talk about what well do. I live on my own have no family support. I have to move house in a few can't find anywhere. Have to get rid of my dog on sun as I can't find a pet rental. Work for Telstra ( need I say no more lol) aaaagh so I've spent the last few hours crying and I'm just so over it the only good thing I have is my baby boy to be. Oh well no more wining from me lol how donu guuys cope?
Yes moeny sux. We cant afford any new stuff for bub either, luckily most of my DD's things will be ok to use/share with the new baby, but one thing I do need is a double pram since i will have an 18mth old and a newborn. I have seen 3 at garage sales, all around $70 and we cant even afford that atm.
On the upside, I spoke to the bank yesterday and we wont have to sell for now PHEW!
Im sorry to hear whats going on, its so hard just dealing with everyday stuff when pregnant let alone the situation you are in.
I used to be a rental property manager I can lend you a heap of tips on how to land a rental house and make you look beeter than all the other applicants if you like. Feel free to ask or just PM me
Oh and I also used to work for centrelink in their call centre - a lot like telstra I imagine LOL. Gee I hope I have never abused you when I phoned up
I think all of us have found different ways to cope with Prenatal depression but the main thing is to just take one day at a time. I feel a lot better just knowing there are other girls on this thread feeling the same as me. That way I know Im not going crazy.
here it goes ill post here now i feel safe knowing that others are going through similar stuff as me.
im 25weeks pregnant with my second. i have alot on my mind. we have bills that are so far behind that i belive my electricity will be turned off next week at least thats what the letter i opened yesterdays is saying. i have to get a car seat and stuff for bubs, thankfully i still have the stuff from my first as he is only a year old so that will help alot i guess. but i dont know how we will get a carseat, or even hire a capsule as we dont have a spare cent, i feel so bad we were saving money for our son, but now have spent it all and still way to far behind. all because dp last work place were not paying him correctly and then he had to leave. we were trying to survive a month on 2 weeks pay, then he got another job, but the hole we are in is so deep i dont know if we will get out.
to make things worse, i feel like im the only mum in the world that is worried i wont love my second baby, im not at all attached to it, i feel like its just one more thing i dont need. wich i feel bad about because we wanted another baby, but it was a week after i found out i was having one everything went downhill fast for us its like its a curse on us not a blessing.
ive been to the dr only last week and finally had the courage to talk to him about it, he isnt that concerned as he thinks half of my depression is to do with the ammount of pain i am in... i have trouble just looking after my son or getting out of bed ect, from my back.
i have tried to talk to my dp but he isnt any help, i explain how i feel and his way of solving it is saying do you want me to leave, or just dont think like that, his latest one is you will cope everyone else can. so ive decided not to bother talking to him about it anymore he just makes me feel worse.
i think all the depression started when i got some negitive news at my 20 week scan, i was told the baby has enlarged kidneys, wich might mean it has to have an op in the first 2 weeks of its life... but they cant tell me anything until it is born and they do some tests. even tho my midwife is trying to reasure me that it will be ok, i feel like its not how is it ok for a newborn to have surgery?
my dr has told me to stop worrying over money as thats my partners job, and to just take it one day at a time, but how do you block it all out? i cant.
to top it all off our car isnt safe, its been fine for my dp and mostly for me but a few weeks back the brakes failed on the motorway and it was only by pure luck that i wasnt in an accident. i was stuck on the motorway with my baby for an hr, and some ****head decided to yell out of there window, stupidt women shouldnt drive. i wanted to get in the car and crash into them. i was so upset, i was already crying my son was crying, and i was helpless.
then all of a sudden the brakes worked again, but now im scared of the car, which is stupid cause i know it was just air in the brakes, i was a trainee mechanic before my lil one was born.
now tomorrow we are having a first birthday party for my lil man, but i dont want it and its too late to cancel it. i just dont feel like having people over, and talking about maximus and he new baby. i jst dont care. id rather shut myself in my room and never come out.
sorry my post is so long ill stop now befor i take up to much of your time
Elsmith - so sorry to hear about all your worries. What a scary thing to happen with your car. Do you have a friend that could look it over to make sure it is safe?
It must be so hard to cope with your back problem. Do you have a friend or family that can help you out? Please don't be shy in asking for help. I know that when I get help I feel guilty but right now I just take it because I really need it and know that eventually I won't and I can repay my friends/family later so that I feel better about it.
Sorry you got bad news at 20 weeks. It is good to know that it isn't definite but nether the less it is something unknown and I can understand how it would be playing on your mind.
I hope your financial worries get better. I know that when I am pregnant everything is magnified so much more and I have found myself concerned about our future finances too as this is number 4. I usually find that all these worries seem to sort themselves out and then I look back and think I could have saved myself all that worry and stress. I know men have no idea what we go through, they never could. Try to leave most of your financial worries with your partner. He sounds like he will get it sorted out. Easier said than done ha?
Anyway chin up. It is good to get it all out though.
Funnily enough, the brakes are the problem in my car too. Must be a connection between prenatal depression and bodgy brakes.
Today has not been a good day. Fighting with DP because I am tired of looking after SS all the time, then he refuses to take our 'bodgy brakes' car to pick him up tomorrow, and instead is taking the money I have set aside for train and bus fare to get BS to and from school all week and putting that in his stepdads car to go get him, leaving me with ten possibly 15 dollars that I have to put in the car because it wont do for train fares etc. So me, BS and our baby squishy are going to be in a car with bodgy brakes twice a day for a week because DP refuses to put his sons life in danger for one trip, and wont train it up there either. Not feeling the love today, not at all.
I think part of me feeling so depressed is because I am so isolated and feeling so lonely lately. Partly my fault, because my house phone is unplugged all the time;. But I realised today that I actually wanted to go out, but couldnt. The car frankly has bodgy brakes so shouldnt be driven. Plus I only have limited money to put fuel in, so I cant drive anywhere. I cant train it anywhere, because I dont even have money for a train fare, so thats out of the question. And I started thinking that I could atleast go for a walk somewhere and remembered that I am still recovering from my last walk on wednesday. I am having what we believe is SPD (Pelvic pain) and i is especially bad after I walk etc. So I cant even walk anywhere! I was literally stuck inside all day. I even had a nap because I got so bored.......
Hmmm, I think we have discovered an important scientific link between bad brakes and Prenatal depression LOL
Im glad you posted here. It can be a little hard for the girls on the due in June thread to understand us when they are feeling wonderful (dont get me wrong, they are fabulous ofcourse! but on a totally different wavelength to us, kwim). Financial problems, health concerns for the newborn and difficulty with your partner understanding can be so hard and just magnifying the depression you feel. Im glad you went to the doctor though. Lots of luv n hugs
I know hwat oyu mean, I dont have money to go anywhere either. I walk, but I walk up and down my driveway repeatedly how sad is that. BUt its better than nothing, at least I am able to walk if I choose you poor thing with SPD!
I take naps everyday. I nap for an hour a day, when DD naps. Not sure if its because I need it or because Im bored.
As for me-
Feeling a heap better today after 2 really bad days in a row. I took a nap in the middle of the day yesterday and slept for 3 hours, and when I woke i felt back to my old self - and straight away realised that its been ages since i have felt 'normal' like that. DH and I had a lengthy discussion about our financial situation as we really are in dire straits atm, and decided the only way out of this hole is to sell our house, pay out all of our debts and start from scratch all over again. I am sad about that as we built the house ourselves and always thought we would move back into it (its in WA) but its not to be. But to be released of the financial burden will make a big difference to me I beleive and now we can start planning for a more secure future oh and maybe i can afford to actually put real food on the table now.. Paying a mortgage, plus rent (we live in QLD with DH's work) plus all the other everyday bills on top has meant DH's income just isnt enough so the house has to go.
On the upside, DH gets given a car from work on Monday, which means I get to keep our car at home with me woohoo! Even if it does have dodgy brakes, lol.
That's great that you and your husband are on the same page. It would make such a huge difference, and I can imagine how good it would feel to be rid of the financial burden. I think that's why I'm not counting down weeks till the babies born, bit fortnightly pays until end of financial year.
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