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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquamarine View Post
    I am the same. As much as I feel alone and teary, sometimes I think it is better because I don't have to be around people who are saying congratulations to me etc etc

    Everyone around me is happy. I am not.

    Some days are better than others, but then I slowly feel myself think about it again.

    It is such an awful feeling and I feel really ashamed of myself to be honest.
    OMG I feel like I could have written that myself!!! You know when you are out somewhere and you have to pretend youre happy and do all the polite and obligatory hello how are you's conversations, well i cant even bring myself to do that anymore. So as isolated as I am anyway, I think I prefer it that way.

    If I had to sit hiding in a corner all day long, that would be fine.

    True some days are better than other, infact I have been on a good run this past week or so, much better than i was...

    Do you feel ashamed because you feel you should be more excited about the baby? That is the only time I feel ashamed. Oh and also when i take it all out on DH which isnt fair on him. I have my mum and MIL always asking how is my blood pressure, etc as its been a drama this time around, and I am surprised whe nthey ask because I havent even cared wnough to worry about it, and I should be. bad bad bad.
    Last edited by halloweenmum; 19-02-2010 at 13:30. Reason: added

  2. #12
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    Well heres my story.......

    I have struggled with depression since i was about 13 years old but have been medicated and only had a few "episodes" throughout my life.

    I felt like i had it all before i met my now XP. I was working towards a great career and had my own place, great friends and i was just really enjoying life as most 23 year olds are. I fell pregnant to my XP very early on in the relationship. Things were great between us at first and i moved away from my family to be closer to him and his family. After some time he became emotionally abusive towards me and it was hard to cope especially being so isolated from everyone. When i was about 14 weeks pregnant i received a 1:20 NT scan for Downs syndrome. This devestated me even further and i received no support from my XP many times he told me to "snap out of it" and that how i was feeling was "all in my head".

    I had come off my meds due to them being unsafe during pregnancy and didnt resume taking ones that were so i could feel myself crashing hard especially with all the stress i was going through. The only thing that kept me going was my beautiful baby( which is a boy btw!).

    Things continued to get worse with XP to the point where i felt like i was walking on eggshells around him all the time. His abuse started with words but then escalated to him throwing things at me and threatening me. Mentally he has done so much damage to me. The big final strw for me was him becoming physically violent when i was 7 months pregnant. He hit me and even tried to strangle me and with that i was out and in a refuge.

    I am now 32 weeks pregnant and back with my family trying to move on with my life but he is still giving me hell threatening to take custody from me and requesting paternity tests ect ect all ways of trying to hurt me.

    To be honest now that i am out of the relationship i feel alot better but i have had to get alot of support due to the damage he has caused and i sometimes feel down and i cry at night about being "homeless" and everything that i have lost from this situation (i still always smile when i think about the beautiful bub ive got out of this though i'd never take him back )
    I also worry about how its going to be after the birth because i know that i am a candidate for PND with my history of depression and i can't see how going through labour and the newborn stages alone is going to help my situation. I know that theres some very hard times ahead of me

  3. #13
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    I feel ashamed because I know that one day I will regret feeling this way, because I should be happier, because I didn't feel this way with my other children, because baby was pretty much planned and now I am not happy......many reasons.

    I am getting teary now lol

    Thanks for the chat it helps. Don't u think?


  4. #14
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    Hugs to you Candy

    You have been through such a lot.

    I am glad to hear you are back with your family in a stable home.

    It is important for you to have good support from the people around you, especially when he is still demanding things from you.

    Sending you lots of strength.

  5. #15
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    thanks Aquamarine

  6. #16
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    Candy
    Sending lots of hugs to you, you have been through an enormous amount especially being off your meds, you are obviously an incredibly strong person to be getting through it each day. At least you recognise the times that lay ahead but all you can do is deal with each thing as it comes. Too much for someone who is only 23.... I hope you come out the other side of this all and become unstoppable

  7. #17
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    Ok so I have 2 questions girls.

    Firstly, for those of you with partners, have you actually spoken to them about this and actually brought up the big D word (depression) with them? I am yet to tell my DH the full extent of how I have been and I have only gotten away with it because he is at work 12hrs per day so really doesnt see it firsthand all the time. Any suggestions on how to go about it? THinking about just showing him this thread but I dont know if he will understand or just think i am over-reacting and I fear he will take the attitude that I should just "get over it' as I dont think he has any idea at all of what it can be like....

    Secondly,
    Anyone have tips on how to feel better, even if its just temporarily? For example, I find that going for a walk out in the sun helps me. I feel good until I get home again, lol. But I will take what I can get, kwim.

  8. #18
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    Thankyou so much halloweenmum. i told my partner as i said i got zero support but yeh he was a horrible man so bad example.

    The best thing i find that helps is to talk to people about everything and to get it off my chest. Even simply talking to everyone on here that's going through the same thing brightens up my day. I also see social workers and counselors and go to a Domestic Violence group and i find that that helps alot as well. That is of course just for my situation but i think counseling would really help
    Last edited by Ra Ra Superstar; 19-02-2010 at 14:24.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by halloweenmum View Post
    Ok so I have 2 questions girls.

    Firstly, for those of you with partners, have you actually spoken to them about this and actually brought up the big D word (depression) with them? I am yet to tell my DH the full extent of how I have been and I have only gotten away with it because he is at work 12hrs per day so really doesnt see it firsthand all the time. Any suggestions on how to go about it? THinking about just showing him this thread but I dont know if he will understand or just think i am over-reacting and I fear he will take the attitude that I should just "get over it' as I dont think he has any idea at all of what it can be like....

    Secondly,
    Anyone have tips on how to feel better, even if its just temporarily? For example, I find that going for a walk out in the sun helps me. I feel good until I get home again, lol. But I will take what I can get, kwim.
    Yes I have told my partner. He is fairly supportive although he is at work a lot so doesn't see me teary all the time. He has seen me teary a few times though and I have told him how down I feel and how I am having regrets. His reply is 'oh thank you for carrying our child'. lol
    But overall he is a man so could never possibly know what it is like to be pregnant, let alone down and pregnant. Plus, I have had morning sickness which has added to my 'depression' although that is getting better now.
    Tips - The best tip for me is discussing it with someone who understands -like you guys. Friends that have felt like this before, and got through it etc
    Now that I am feeling a bit better ms wise, I think it will be good to get out in the fresh air, although I dread chatting with people who are very happy about me being pregnant.

  10. #20
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    Thought I would join too. Im also 23, I ave a 6 year old, a 3 year old step son and a partner. Im not sure if I have depression or what, but Im just tired of all the crapness and crying at everything, and I mean everything. Im tired of fighting with DP, and tonight we are even sitting down to have the 'talk' about whether we should have a break or not because I am over it all and really starting to dislike him.


    Quote Originally Posted by halloweenmum View Post
    Ok so I have 2 questions girls.

    Firstly, for those of you with partners, have you actually spoken to them about this and actually brought up the big D word (depression) with them? I am yet to tell my DH the full extent of how I have been and I have only gotten away with it because he is at work 12hrs per day so really doesnt see it firsthand all the time. Any suggestions on how to go about it? THinking about just showing him this thread but I dont know if he will understand or just think i am over-reacting and I fear he will take the attitude that I should just "get over it' as I dont think he has any idea at all of what it can be like....

    Secondly,
    Anyone have tips on how to feel better, even if its just temporarily? For example, I find that going for a walk out in the sun helps me. I feel good until I get home again, lol. But I will take what I can get, kwim.
    First, nope. But I am thinking I should bring it up tonight with him. But I als odont want to hear the good old "Oh, its just hormones."

    Second, shower!!! I had a really nice shower this morning after crying so hard I started hyperventilating. Nice. It calmed me sooo much


 

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