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    Default Pregnancy/Prenatal depression support thread - come join us!

    Hi there, this thread is a spin off from a Prenatal Depression thread I started, a few of the girls thought it would be a good idea to have a support thread for anyone currently pregnant and suffering from depression or any feelings of aloneness,anger, flatness, unmovitated and just generally down while pregnant. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

    Come and share your feelings, have a vent, and share experiences and information with eachother on how we can cope.

    Thanks to Aimsy for the fab idea hun!

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    thanks halloweenmum!! Im glad everyone else thought it was a good idea too! I like to have somewhere to blurt everything out, i feel better so i know it helps hehe

    for everyone!

    aims

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    Thanks for starting this thread. I am defenatly in need of something like this.

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    Ok so I wanted to copy & paste this info that was posted on my old thread by Naesy, i thought it was great. Here is what she wrote:

    It's not just after the birth (post-natal) when we're at greater risk of depression. Prenatal depression is a serious problem (as is prenatal psychosis. If you have bipolar, please ensure your psychologist/psychiatrist knows you are PG, and that your GP and Obstetrician know you have bipolar).

    I'm a psychologist, and I work with men and women affected by depression everyday. I thought I'd contribute with some info on warning signs to look for. I also thought I should list some things you can do to either prevent depression or help overcome it.

    Some of the signs/symptoms:
    - loss of interest/pleasure in things you normally enjoy;
    - feelings of flatness, emptiness, hopelessness, guilt, and/or despair. Or the absence of feelings;
    - teariness;
    - decrease in hobbies/activities;
    - decrease in exercise and general physical activity;
    - decrease in socialising;
    - decrease in energy and motivation;
    - decrease in concentration and attention; problems remembering things, thinking clearly and making decisions;
    - changes in sleep patterns and/or eating patterns;(obviously, some sleep and eating changes are normal during PG, but things like extreme over-sleeping or under-asleeping and extreme undereating when you're not ill and should be interested in food can be signs of depression - especially when in conjunction with other symptoms above)
    - thoughts of death or hurting yourself, or thoughts of 'ending the pain'
    - you don't have to have all of the above syptoms, but a handful or more can indicate you have the beginnings of depression or depression itself


    How to know if it's become 'serious':
    (I should point out that even if it isn't 'serious', you'll still benefit from talking to someone and following the tips below; you may prevent depression from taking hold)
    - when the symptoms are present most of the day, nearly everyday, for at least 2 weeks
    - when it is having a significant impact on your wellbeing, your family and home-life, your friendships, and/or your work/study/hobbies.

    Things you can do:
    - exercise! Research has shown that just 30mins a day can prevent/reduce depression. Because you're PG, take it easy. Only light exercise is required. Start small if you like; one day, walk around the house a few times, the next day, walk up and down the street... and so on. Depression will make you want to stay on the couch. You have to challenge this thinking and get up; exercise will pump blood, oxygen and endorphins through your body and thus it will eventually energise you.
    - spend a little time in the sun each day (this is known to prevent and reduce depression)
    - start doing things you love, even if it's just for a short time every day or every second day (think of hobbies or interests that you used to do, or things you've always wanted to do; again, start small if you need to. Just 15mins a day would be great)
    - connect with friends and family. Isolation is a serious problem. The more your support network / social world shrinks, the more alone you feel, the more unstimulating your life becomes, and then the more depressed you can become.
    - depression makes us magnify the negative aspects of ourselves, our lives, our past, our present and our future. It makes us believe that nothing will ever get better - but unless you're psychic, you can't prove this! Spend a little time each day forcing yourself to notice the good things in your life, no matter how small. Start a diary in which you record small to big things that you are grateful for. And when you find yourself thinking that the future will be bad, remind yourself that you don't actually know. You can't prove that good things aren't around the corner. You can't even prove that one day you won't look back on this time and feel grateful for it - you may learn and grow in ways you never imagined from this difficult experience. Remind yourself of other times in your life when you've gotten through difficulties - while you were going through those times, you might have been convinced nothing would get better, but perhaps it did. Lastly, depression will make you minimise your talents and achievements. Force yourself to notice what you are good at, what great things you've done, what people see/like in you. When your mind tries to downplay these things, challenge your thinking! It's just the depression telling you that your achievements/talents/goodsides don't count!
    - notice your guilt. When you feel guilty, remind yourself that you are human and EVERYONE will have done things they regret. Everyone. Try to forgive yourself for your mistakes and tell yourself that you will grow and learn from them, but that they don't equal who you are as a person or how your future will be.
    - talk to your GP, or any other health professional. They can refer you on for further help. Counselling in some instances can be free or cheap - let them know if you have financial difficulties. Counselling DOES work. Decades of research have supported this. Medication can also work, and many PG are able to take this during PG.
    - go to Beyond Blue. They have an info/support telephone number: 1300 22 4636
    Their website is also excellent! http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=107

    N.B. Some people have anxiety alongside depression. It's actually quite common. Anxiety is when you find yourself worrying a lot; you might be restless and fidgety, feel sick in the stomach or get headaches, you may have trouble stopping your thoughts or worries, you might stay awake at night due to worries, you might find yourself avoiding certain people and situations for the fear they evoke in you. Anxiety is just as treatable as depression!



    SO I guess I will start with me - I am currently 23 weeks pregnant, due on 18th June 2010 I am having a boy
    I have just endured a period of about 4 weeks of feeling really low and angry and unsociable, and generally flat. Not surprising since i am home alone everyday and live in a new area with no friends or family nearby at all, they all live interstate. I would say that being socially isolated has been the main factor for me, but I have to say, the "depression" really crept up on me...I am just glad I was able to recognise it as that.
    ATM I am feeling great, feels like I am back to 'normal' (if there is such a thing, lol), with only the occasional low moments or angry moments, but I fear it coming back. I chose not to speak to my OB yet, as i wanted to ride it out for a bit. if it returns bad again, then I will bring it up. My biggest fear is that i will get Postnatal depression, but I hope I am wrong.

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    HI Candy

    Hi Aimsy

    Welcome! HOw are you both feeling today? Sending lots of in advance

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    thats a good idea to share a bit about ourselves so we can see where we're all coming from and how much we have in common!

    I guess I need to be brutally honest with everyone and myself.. Since I found out I was pregnant, I havent wanted to be at all which is where it all started for me. I had been sick for a couple of months with low blood sugar, headaches... in the back of my mind i feared pregnancy but hoped and convinced myself like everyone else in my family diabetes had cought up with me! but the time DH convinced me to do i test, that came back postive i was 12 weeks, and even after a massive bleed which i was sure was the end of any pregnancy if there was one, the baby fine and happy as larry in there!
    It took me weeks to get excited, i told DH not to tell anyone, I didnt want anyone to know I was pregnant.. then i started to show and people started gossiping, as they do... which made me more axious and confused about what i was going to do, i still wasnt happy about it and i didnt know why.
    then DH was diagnosed with a virus that he had when the bub was conceived, if i also had the virus the baby had a 90% chance of brain deformity or not surviving... i felt even more distant from the baby now. But i dont have the virus! i havent seen the OB after the scan but as far as we know bub is ok, so every day im trying to get it to sink in and enjoy it.
    I feel so awful that im not giving this baby everything i have, i feel bad for my son who im not giving everything i have, because i sit around and mope all day, i dont do anything, im in a **** mood all the time, EVERYTHING hurts my feelings, i feel like i hate everything about DH and hes letting me down, with little things.. like hes abandoning me, and Im morbidly lonely, i have no friends, no one rings me to see how i am, i have no one to call to tell how i am! i just feel like im in my own personal hell.

    i might stop rambling now hehe
    i need a coffee after all that
    aim

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    What a great thread! i'm gonna plonk my butt here

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    I think I need to be here too. This is actually a planned pregnancy and I don't know why I am feeling this way this time because I never felt like this the last three times.

    It is fabulous to be able to have support from other people feeling the same way.

    Thanks for starting this thread.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by aimsy View Post
    thats a good idea to share a bit about ourselves so we can see where we're all coming from and how much we have in common!

    I guess I need to be brutally honest with everyone and myself.. Since I found out I was pregnant, I havent wanted to be at all which is where it all started for me. I had been sick for a couple of months with low blood sugar, headaches... in the back of my mind i feared pregnancy but hoped and convinced myself like everyone else in my family diabetes had cought up with me! but the time DH convinced me to do i test, that came back postive i was 12 weeks, and even after a massive bleed which i was sure was the end of any pregnancy if there was one, the baby fine and happy as larry in there!
    It took me weeks to get excited, i told DH not to tell anyone, I didnt want anyone to know I was pregnant.. then i started to show and people started gossiping, as they do... which made me more axious and confused about what i was going to do, i still wasnt happy about it and i didnt know why.
    then DH was diagnosed with a virus that he had when the bub was conceived, if i also had the virus the baby had a 90% chance of brain deformity or not surviving... i felt even more distant from the baby now. But i dont have the virus! i havent seen the OB after the scan but as far as we know bub is ok, so every day im trying to get it to sink in and enjoy it.
    I feel so awful that im not giving this baby everything i have, i feel bad for my son who im not giving everything i have, because i sit around and mope all day, i dont do anything, im in a **** mood all the time, EVERYTHING hurts my feelings, i feel like i hate everything about DH and hes letting me down, with little things.. like hes abandoning me, and Im morbidly lonely, i have no friends, no one rings me to see how i am, i have no one to call to tell how i am! i just feel like im in my own personal hell.

    i might stop rambling now hehe
    i need a coffee after all that
    aim
    Ramble away Aim, its ok Not everyone connects with their baby in the womb, I never did with my first baby, infact it was a few weeks after the birth before I did. ANd I definately havent connected with this one either, even though i fel it kicking all hte time, etc. And this pregnancy hasnt exactly been straightforward for you with such huge serious factors like the bleed and the virus scare its no wonder you havent let yourself enjoy it. the fact you are so lonely and the phone doesnt even ring doesnt help things, I am in the exact same boat in that respect. Too much time alone gives you too much time to think, and as humans we are social creatures by nature, so to take that communication away can only lead a person downhill. Dont worry, maybe i can annoy you each day with a nice big PM, LOL. Have you spoken to your OB or GP yet about how youre feeling?


    Quote Originally Posted by Aquamarine View Post
    I think I need to be here too. This is actually a planned pregnancy and I don't know why I am feeling this way this time because I never felt like this the last three times.

    It is fabulous to be able to have support from other people feeling the same way.

    Thanks for starting this thread.
    Hi Aqua,
    I know what you mean, it never happened to me the last time around either. They never tell you about this stuff and how it can happen when youre pregnant, everyone assumes we are all in mother mode, happy and excited blah blah blah
    Well frankly i hate being pregnant this time, which is crazy because I had to go thru IVF to conceive my first and this one I fell preg naturally - a miracle, but I dont even care....now thats not right, I know my mind is playing tricks on me. I should be over the moon. I know i am not myself, but since being pregnant I haven been myself at all (mentally & emotionally) and it is getting harder and harder to remember the "old happy me" kwim. Anyway, enough about me, just lending my understanding to you.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by halloweenmum View Post
    Hi Aqua,
    I know what you mean, it never happened to me the last time around either. They never tell you about this stuff and how it can happen when youre pregnant, everyone assumes we are all in mother mode, happy and excited blah blah blah
    Well frankly i hate being pregnant this time, which is crazy because I had to go thru IVF to conceive my first and this one I fell preg naturally - a miracle, but I dont even care....now thats not right, I know my mind is playing tricks on me. I should be over the moon. I know i am not myself, but since being pregnant I haven been myself at all (mentally & emotionally) and it is getting harder and harder to remember the "old happy me" kwim. Anyway, enough about me, just lending my understanding to you.
    I am the same. As much as I feel alone and teary, sometimes I think it is better because I don't have to be around people who are saying congratulations to me etc etc

    Everyone around me is happy. I am not.

    Some days are better than others, but then I slowly feel myself think about it again.

    It is such an awful feeling and I feel really ashamed of myself to be honest.


 

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