It WILL NOT cause 'bad habits' if you.....

[OJandMe]

I've been listening to a lot of parenting ideas at playgroup lately... a lot of Mums are pregant with their second child and are going through toddler stages with their first.

Having 4 children already and having children who are the eldest in our grou.. I think I have a little bit of knowledge when it comes to different ideas and worries about those so-called.. 'bad habit forming' parenting ideas...

This was the main one for me...

Please.. it WILL NOT cause bad habits if you lay with/sit with/rock/pat/feed your child to sleep.

It is not worth fighting with a 2-3yr old for 2-3 hours a night, bringing them back to bed, taking them back to bed, taking them back to bed, taking them back to bed...... everytime they come out... just because you think it will cause bad habits if they don't 'learn to settle themselves'


ALL children learn to settle themselves. I would say by about 4-5 years of age, every child can be reasoned with to accept a cuddle, a book, a kiss, a tuck in... and the reassurance that you are sitting in the loungeroom reading a book, and will check on them in 5 mins.

Babies and toddlers go through many sleep phases, just because they self settle now... does not mean they will self-settle in 6 months... and then what?????

BUT if your child knows you will stay with them, until they go to sleep... they will ALWAYS go to sleep with you with them... there will be no fight. There is no need to fight, because it is a pleasant experience... the soft songs, the prayers, the cuddles, the stories.

By the time your child is a preschooler you can reason with them and work out a good bedtime routine with them, that works for you and them.



Please feel free to add to the list.

[CrankyAndTired]

Wonderful post..

[codswallop]

well said!!

also ive found it just as easy for my co sleeping babies to transition in to big beds as toddlers as those ppl whos children started life in there own cots

[Nomsie]

[InSaneOne]

i used to rock dd to sleep. at the age of 2 she decided she didn't want to be rocked anymore. and goes to sleep fine. we do have slight issues with her day sleep especially when she has been with my mum the previous day. she wants her belly and back rubbed before she goes to sleep. then she mucks around with toilet and drinks as that is what my mother lets her get away with.

but all children are different. they all learn to settle in their own time. and while it may take a while to change some behavior as long as the kids listen to you (and freeze) when you scream out STOP or NO then you don't have a problem.

[Hootenanny]

I absolutely agree, we have never had night time battles because I just lie down with them, they relax and go to sleep. There is a lot of pressure put on mums to have babies who self settle and all it does is place unnecessary stress on them and their children. I love that time with them when we cuddle and they are dozing off. I still do it with my 3 year old and we lay there saying goodnight. It goes something like this
'Goodnight baby'
'night mum'
'Sleeptight'
'Fanks mum'
'sweetdreams'
'sweetdweams to you too'
'thanks baby'
'your welcomed'
'love you'
'lub you too'

and then that's all I usually hear from him until 7.30 ish in the morning.

[Raising Leprechauns]

Totally agree. DS decided by himself when he was ready to "kick me out" of his room when going to sleep. We have a story, lights go out, we have a "love" and when he is ready he says "I'm ready now - that was a good love". Off I go. If my kids need to come in to my bed at night they can. They are little for such a small time - and eventually I will be missing those late night cuddles.

Even though I would kill for a solid nights sleep!

[smog]

gotta say i totally agree

[bgbgbb]

I'll deviate from the original post and give you another one (also from a mum of 4)

It will not cause bad habits (or moreso, ruin your child) if you put them in a childcare facility one day a week (even if you are a SAHM) once they are about 18 months -2 years.

It enables them to learn interaction with other children, take authority from an adult other than their parents/family members and gives mum a chance to have some kid-free time to do stuff she cant do with them constantly around (the breathing space helps to make me a much nicer mum).

I found that having previously attended childcare, my children transitioned easily into kindergarten and then school and lost a lot of the clinginess they can have at an earlier age.

[Lilahh]

Babies and toddlers go through many sleep phases, just because they self settle now... does not mean they will self-settle in 6 months... and then what?????

I agree with everything and I just cannot agree more with the above statement. Just cause they can now, doesn't mean they will tomorrow.

Amen!