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  1. #1
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    Default Am I making excuses for not wanting baby?

    Just wondering, when talking about having a baby, do potential mothers worry about things like down syndrome or autism? These things have just started to worry me, and I can't help thinking I am using it as an excuse not to have a baby.

    We were all set to start trying this year, but I am now worried about these things.

    I love babies and kids, but have always said I would not be devastated if I was unable to have children.

    Would like to hear your thoughts...am I having preconception jitters????

    Thank you.

  2. #2
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    To me it sounds like preconception jitters - absolutely. And the fun thing is, those jitters do not go away when you're pregnant they tend to get worse! Well for some they do anyway.

    I'm 2 weeks away from my due date and I still worry about things like DS and other birth defects, even though all tests and scans etc have come back perfect. But the thing is though, I know I'll love my son no matter what and provide him the the most stable, happy and loving life I can.

    Is it only these things that worry you about having a child? If you feel unready in any way to have a child I think you should give yourself all the time in the world you need.

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    It's perfectly normal to be scared.
    Perhaps being worried something will go wrong is actually a sign you really are more ready than you think...as in you're already loving and wanting to protect from harm the baby you've yet to conceive?
    Just a different spin on things

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    Being an older mum those things worried me a lot, but I still went ahead with it. The DS worry didn't fully go away until he was born, even though I'd had an amnio. I still worry about autism even though he shows no sign of it.

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    Thank you for taking the time to reply.

    I think I may be ready, considering the other day I was on private school websites checking out prices for schools in Melbourne....for a child I am not even sure will eventuate!

    I guess I am super organised and am thinking of all possibilities. And I have always been a bit of an over-analyser!

    Goodluck ladies with your pregnancies!

  6. #6
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    Magnanimous is offline Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all of it's students
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    it sounds totally normal to me - similar to when some people get married they feel that sense of fear or nervousness - its a big step to take in your life & if you didnt feel a little bit nervous about those things then you wouldnt be human.

    Also you will know deep down inside if you are not ready yet - ask yourself the question honestly & you will have your answer.

    But is sounds to me as if you are having the normal worries & concerns that i am told follow you all the way through to birth & i am sure all the way through your childs life - its natural to be concerned about something so precious.

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    Being a regular on the IVF forum I would encourage you not to wait.
    Trust me, better to start now with conception.
    As for the what ifs in life... what if you miscarry? what if your child has cancer? what if the child has an accident and becomes disabled? what if they become a teenage run away on drugs? What if they become Prime Minister? (LOL!)
    You can't control life. All you can do is face what life brings you. The joys of parenting is worth the risk.

    May I have the courage today
    To live the life that I would love,
    To postpone my dream no longer
    But do at last what I came here for
    And waste my heart on fear no more.

    xoxo
    Fortitude


 

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