what kind of a mother

[bronny-jane]

ok my brothers gf had a baby almost 2 weeks ago, its their 3rd child.
heres were it gets bad, she told my mum that she doesnt "relate" to her older kids, their 3 and almost 2
im not suprised at all, she hasnt taken an intrest in them ever, she didnt even change one nappy when she got out of the hospital, or fed them a bottle, never even tried to play with them, or comfort them.

what kind of a mother could do this, it disgusts me that anyone could feel nothing for their own children its not like she hasnt had time our kids are the same age.
if my brother has to go somewhere to the bank etc, she needs someone to come and watch the kids, cause she wont do it, in fact she hasnt looked after them by herself ever
people like this make me mad

[Seekrit]

My Aunty has a hard time with new borns. It was really hard when she had her two babies because they were both premature, so not only were they new, they were also little.

It sucks and lots of people can't understand it but it happens, some people just can't connect - even with their own.

I'd also be looking into the possiblility of PND

[bronny-jane]

she's fine with the newborn seekrit, she takes her everywhere, its her other kids.
she tells them she doesnt love them and yells at them all the time

i would have thought PND too, but its not, she was this selfish before she even got pg with their first

[*Chels*]

Thats really sad
I cant understand why you would just stop liking your kids as they got older.Poor kids

[reAllytee]

I would say its PND or possibly some other problem.
Some women just dont connect with older kids they are lost with what to do with them etc.
To be honest im finding some days hard now myself wondering if im even doing the right thing with Boof & i often still think he would be better off with another family who know what they are doing.
Maybe she is just selfish but personally i think there is an underlying issue so i wouldnt write her off just yet.

[nemosmum]

I know someone who has the same problem, her son is almost 6 and she still doesnt connect with him,

Its been like that from the day he was born, his dad has done everything for him and still does.

Its sad as im sure they are both missing out big time.

BJ- I cant imagine how frustrating it must be to see your brothers children suffer, so i understand your resentment BUT until you walk in your sil's shoes i dont think you'll ever understand the whys and hows.

Its sounds like your a good aunty and thats all you can be

[AquaDevil78]

Isn't it some kind of postnatal depression? (not the right term ) I cant recall the actual name of it, different to PND. but is when they are in a frame of mind from bringing the baby home, where they dont want to hurt the child as such, but they dont want anything to do with it.

Maybe this is why she acts the way she does as she has never acknowledged she has a problem and no one else realises it may be this and just fob her of as a "bad" mother?

Might be something worth looking into?

[SamanthaJane]

Well if she was that type of a person before... i doubt it would be PND... some people are just a little delusional

How you could tell a 3 year old or a 2 year old constantly that you don't love them is just beyond belief

How can she just feel nothing towards them, they are her babies?!

[Hokey Pokey]

Sounds like a form of severe depression It can make you do some very crazy things.

[bellagirl]

i dont know her situation bronny jane but it sounds alot like my cousin.
she has three girls, 8,7, 4 and 2.

beautiful girls and they get treated like sh#t.
i have rung the welfare on her numerous times but they never seem to do anything

the eldest one runs around after the baby all day, changing her nappies.
the 7 year old is always geting screamed at coz shes got a little bit of an attitude (so much like her mum its not funny!)

and the 4 year old lives with her dad but when she comes to stay with her mum, she gets abused all day, shes spoilt coz her dad only has her but i dont understand, if you dont know if you like kids, and you have one, and you dont like it, why continue to have more?