I'd love to ask some questions if I could. I know that adoption can be a sensitive topic so if I word something wrongly please don't bite I have two very good friends who are adopted and I know the complexities of it on the adoptee.
My DF and I have always wanted to adopt internationally. We have biological DS and plan to try for another child mid year, but when either of us try to picture our family as complete we both see this third face and it feels impossible for this other little person to be a part of our lives.
We have travelled extensively and have met many amazing children in orphanages overseas. We still support these places. We are absolutely flexible in regards to country, gender and age. We would be just as happy with a 7 year old as a baby.
We are aware how complicated, sensitive (and costly) international adoption is, and we're aware that the wait is long so I'm wanting to know a few things that may help if we get underway now.
*we would ideally love to welcome this child into our family in 3-5 years time. What kind of wait periods are 'normal'?
* we are not yet married but have been defacto for almost 4 years. We do plan to marry at some point but will this slow the process down if we haven't been married for some time?
* Has anyone here, or do you know anyone who has been successful with international adoption when they also have biological children?
I have heard all the horror stories on message boards, all the reminders of the difficulties, all the cries that those wanting to adopt internationally are ignoring the children of their own country. I have researched all this, and will continue to do so for a long time to come. It makes me nervous to think of all that lies ahead but we want to prepare ourselves as well as we can to be the best parents we can. Like I said, we feel like this child is meant to be with us and it will all fall into place.
I'd just love some advice and experiences I guess!