I am having difficulties with breastfeeding. From the beginning my breastfeeding experience has been a real challenge. I was in the ICU for the first 3 days of bubs life and then bub was in the special care nursery for a full week. Bub (now 6 weeks old) was very big and required alot of milk and as I was in the ICU i was unable to fully breastfeed so he was given formula. When we went home I exclusivley gave him breast milk and EBM. At his first checkup with the Paed's I was immediatly told that i had to start topping up with formula because he wasn't gaining enough weight. I basically spend all day everyday breastfeeding (he only cat naps) and then at night usually break and give him a bottle of either EBM or formula. I despratley want to breastfeed but he is never truely satisfied on Breastmilk from the breast. Bub also needs to be continuously stimulated to suck. I have been doing everything the books, magazines, lactation consultants and aba have told me to do but it just doesn't seem to be working for me. To make matters worse I feel like some of the ABA ladies (not everyone has been so judgemental) and lactation consultants have made me feel like a bad mother and a failure. I know Breast milk is best that why I am trying so bloody hard. I already feel guilty enough as it is with out the breast feeding nazi's making me feel worse. I am trying to do what is best for my baby is that wrong?