Feeling very alone

[2ndchancemum]

Hi i am currently 4 1/2wks pregnant this is my 2nd pregnancy in the last 6 months (i had a miscarriage 4 months ago). I am a single girl who has been dating the same guy for 7 months now. We fell pregnant (after taking the MAP) about a month after knowing each other. That pregnancy, after many arguements & back & forth how we felt about it ended in miscarriage! He doesnt want a child & expressed that to me & i understood that & respected his opinion, however we couldnt agree cause i didnt want an abortion & was to frightened to have 1 as that was something i have been through in the past.

I have wanted to be a mum for so long but havent met the right guy & when i fell pregnant i couldnt help but see it as a sign. Anyway the pregnancy ended & we continued to see each other i went straight on the pill & have been on it for the last 4 months & have some how managed to fall pregnant again. So here i am back at the same situation with him, he doesnt want a child & i am to scared to have an abortion & its not what i want. He now feels like i have just sized him up to have his child etc etc & it kills me that he thinks that cause i am not, nor will i ever be that kind of a person.

Im so frightened right now & dont know what to do, just need to talk to someone that may understand how i am feeling or has been through a simular situation themselves

[Kaz1st]

I am so sorry.. I am not in your position, and I dont have any advise apart from to follow your heart and do what is right for you..

Just wanted to give you lots of

[insideaway]

Ok, take a deep breath, the worst thing you can do right now is be worrying and stressing out while you are so early on. I haven't been in this situation but I'm sure the lovely people of here can be more help but I just think you need to stay positive and things will work themselves out. Either your partner will come round to the idea or he won't, either way you said yourself you are ready to be a mum so good luck an congrats

[Pinkzy]

Hi 2ndchancemum Many *hugs* to you.

I'm not in your situation - but I was in a similar one a long time ago with my first pregnancy. I had known the father about 4 weeks before I found out I was pregnant, and for the first 3 months of the pregnancy he was completely against it and very unhappy about it. He didn't think that I purposely fell pregnant or was sizing him up or anything like that, however that is exactly what his mother thought..and that didn't make things any easier. It actually turned out OK though ...as the pregnancy progressed he warmed to the idea of a baby and is now a fantastic, brilliant and very supportive father even though we broke up when our daughter was 5 months old.

The only advice I can really offer you is to do what you need and want to do. It sounds like you really and truly do want to be a mummy and that's wonderful. It does sound like being a parent is something you may have to do on your own at the moment as your boyfriend sounds like he genuinely isn't ready to be a father, nor does he want to be...you never know though, that could change...he may actually warm to the idea and become happy about this down the track. But if he doesn't, you'll still be a fantastic and loving mum and that's all that matters at the end of the day.

[2ndchancemum]

i guess im just scared & really dont know how to react in this situation! Being a single mum isnt something i ever wanted for myself nor a baby, but i have a lil bean growing inside of me so who gives me the right to take away that lil life all because its father doesnt want it? I want it & i have enough love to give it. He is acting spoilt cause my decision isnt what he wants so he feel it ok to bully me, he feels like i havent considered what he wants or how he feels when for the last 7 months thats all i have done, ive been selfish to myself its all very overwhleming!!

Im so scared about alot, im scared this pregnancy may end in miscarriage, im scared i may have to be a single mum, im scared i may never speak to him again & even though i would love to be a mum im so damn scared of being a mum too!!

[Pinkzy]

You sound a lot more scared of having a miscarriage than anything hun - and that proves that you do want to be a mum...whether you're a single mum or not

I know that the thought of being a mother is exciting, beautiful, amazing..but at the same time it is petrifying, scary, nervewracking and at the best of times, very confusing. Every single mum-to-be feels this way, whether she's a first time mum or already a mum, married or single, 16 years old or 40 years old etc etc. Feeling that way is completely normal in other words Everyone goes through it from the minute they find out they're pregnant to the minute they give birth...and then beyond LOL.

Is it possible for you to spend some time away from your boyfriend for a while? As in not seeing him, no phone calls, emails or texts? It's only a suggestion but it sounds like you need to be on your own for a bit (away from his negative influence), you might find you're less stressed out if he's out of the picture for a while if you know what I mean.