Mummies with Multiples - Lets Chat #3

**Abi&Beth** · 22-09-2010 16:58

Hi Ladies!

Just checking in!

congrats Jess!

Abigail and Bethany are both doing very well, their 4 weeks old tomorrow, fully breastfed happy little bubba's

They are great sleepers, will go to bed at 9 sleep until about 2-3 feed for about an hour each and then wake again at 6 to start the day

Hopefully things stay this way

Life with twins is alot easier then i thought. I was absolutly cr@pping myself when it came to leaving the hospital but i figured that we can do it, and its not as overwhelming as i expected!

I just want to say thank you to everyone in here for reassuring me at the best of times and for helping me through my pregnancy.

It has been great getting to know you all, and i hope we can continue to chat

Take care and good luck to all of the soon2be mummies, You can do it

Tiff x x x

**jessicana** · 22-09-2010 18:31

Oh you are so lucky - im not finding it easy at all.

The boys are 3 weeks old now and I have no idea what im doing.

Hubby is in bed now having a nap after having a go at me and being a real jerk "cos he is tired" um so am I and i have less sleep than him. The boys have only been out of hospital for 4 days. (ive been getting up every 3 hours to express since they were born plus staying up after a feed not to express while hubby goes off to bed and i juggle trying to express and settle the still crying babies)

Im going to just do the feeds myself tonight and let grumpy pants sleep so he gets off my back. (i am twin breastfeeding during the day and give 2 x EBM bottle thru the night)

As for feeds i dont know what im doing. We left the hospital doing 4 hours feeds. The boys were easy there, they literally ate, slept (straight away) and woke 3.5 to 4 hours later for the next feed. Now at home, they wont settle after a feed, they wake after 2 hours then 3 then 3.5 I hold them off feeding until the 4 hours but today they were just screaming after 3 so i fed them early and now my schedule is off.
I dont know what to do. Why are they no longer settling after a feed. We have tried not to change much from how it was in the hospital, we keep lights on and noise from the radio in their room, we feed them the same way etc.
Should i go back to 3 hour feeds?
Should I demand feed, (i dont even know what that really means)
Ugghhhh I am lost I dont know what to do

**Abi&Beth** · 22-09-2010 19:17

Originally Posted by jessicana

Oh you are so lucky - im not finding it easy at all.

The boys are 3 weeks old now and I have no idea what im doing.

Hubby is in bed now having a nap after having a go at me and being a real jerk "cos he is tired" um so am I and i have less sleep than him. The boys have only been out of hospital for 4 days. (ive been getting up every 3 hours to express since they were born plus staying up after a feed not to express while hubby goes off to bed and i juggle trying to express and settle the still crying babies)

Im going to just do the feeds myself tonight and let grumpy pants sleep so he gets off my back. (i am twin breastfeeding during the day and give 2 x EBM bottle thru the night)

As for feeds i dont know what im doing. We left the hospital doing 4 hours feeds. The boys were easy there, they literally ate, slept (straight away) and woke 3.5 to 4 hours later for the next feed. Now at home, they wont settle after a feed, they wake after 2 hours then 3 then 3.5 I hold them off feeding until the 4 hours but today they were just screaming after 3 so i fed them early and now my schedule is off.
I dont know what to do. Why are they no longer settling after a feed. We have tried not to change much from how it was in the hospital, we keep lights on and noise from the radio in their room, we feed them the same way etc.
Should i go back to 3 hour feeds?
Should I demand feed, (i dont even know what that really means)
Ugghhhh I am lost I dont know what to do

darlin i no i dont have much experience to go off but when we were in the hospital my girls were the same...would literally just eat then sleep....since we have gotten home that routine has been outted! I generally demand feed...which is correct me if im wrong...when they cry you feed....when the wake up we try to hush them with toys or just sit down and cuddle them...they either fall back to sleep or get alot more worked up so then ill chuck them on the boob bbecause alot of the time they just need that extra twenty minutes of booby time...can i ask why you are only twinfeeding during the day and not at night?

Dont stress yourself out too much babe your doing a great job and you will figure it out. Sorry for the jumbled reply im on my phone...keep ur chin up

**northshore** · 23-09-2010 09:05

Hi Sam,

Sorry to hear things are tough for you right now. Most of my friends swear by the lactation consultations that come to your house and spend the night with you. I believe you can find details of ones in your area at the hospital.

They are a bit expensive but they claim they are a lifesaver when you are having trouble - and everyone I know has had trouble...with one!

Does your OB have an in house middie? Maybe try there as well. Also 1800 mum 2 mum (1800 686 2 686) run by the ABA.

Good luck!

**shockinamillion** · 23-09-2010 11:57

Jessicana, why is you OH being such a jerk?? Is it because he "works"? You need to address that right away. You need the help.

You have two little babies to look after without having to look after a third child as well.

DF was similar for me while they were in special care and nicu, I got on to him right away, I think I would have killed myself or one of the kids if I had not gotten the help right away. Pretty harsh but I had rather nasty PND and it goes through your head. You NEED his help, even if it means a few arguements or grumpy bum days.

As for the feeding, I have no idea. I expressed and tried to feed but had no luck for 6 weeks. expressing is horrid and tiring!

BIG

**WotWillBWillB** · 23-09-2010 11:58

Oh sweet heart I know how you feel, my Dh was the same. Which is why I now don't ask anyone for help.

I was also expressing and feeding ebm. Neither of mine would take to the breast anyway no matter how much help I fork or didn't have. I gave up breastfeeding after they were home for about a month. I tried my hardest to continue to express as often as I could but for me my supply dried up. My two had ebm for the first 4 or so months of their lives (they were two and a half months prem).

All I can say to you is you are doing a great job. Is there someone that could come spend a night every now and then that could help out with night feeds? Eg mum, mil, friend.

I found with my two they were not getting enough on the breast anyway, so I had to continue to top them up. That was the only way they would go the full 4 hours.

Could you try bc one night feed and give one ebm feed during the day? That way hobby could feed them both and you could have a longer nap?

I can tell you its not easy with twins, especially when you are tired too and not getting the sleep you need.

I hope you feel better about everything soon and hope you get everything under control. I do feel for you.

**WotWillBWillB** · 23-09-2010 17:03

J I just had another thought. Do you have any swings or bouncers or rockers? maybe you could try to put them in there for a little while you express. You could even be close by while expressing, if they cry and be able to give them a rock or whatever. we got swings for older babies it lasted longer. these two loved it. I was able to prop them up more in the swing and the were better settling too then.

food for thought.

**TripleTime** · 23-09-2010 17:12

Sam- is your house quiet at night? Might find that your duo doesn't like the quiet, NICU & SCN aren't quiet places. Try having a radio on in the room, tv, music box, anything that makes noise & a night light. We had the TV & night light in for weeks after coming home, took a while to wean them off if 24/7 tv but it worked.
As for your OH, tell him to can it. Just cause he works, doesn't mean he gets to lounge around. He helped make your duo, he pulls his weight in raising them.

**jessicana** · 23-09-2010 18:19

thanks guys i had a better day today thank goodness.
(sorry for no caps im typing 1 handed)
hubby is not even working at the moment, he just does not do sleep dep well, i have just been avoiding him so i dont get grumpy too.

- tripletime, yep we have had the radio and light on in their room since they got home. I have been turning it down a little at night and making it a tad darker to slowly let them get used to day and night.
i vaccumed under their cots and around them today and they didnt even stir.
i have found they like to only sleep 3 hours in the middle of the day so we bathed them then today to stretch out the 4 hours till feed time, that seemed to work ok. We have to wake them at the 4 hour mark at night.
The mchn came for a home visit today and weighed them. Max only gained 70g in 4 days and michael gained 160g ???? we feed them the same amount in top ups, maybe michael is better at getting milk out of the boob? she was happy for us to stick our 4 hour feeds if we can.

now if one stirs a bit before the 4 hour feed i give him a little bit of boob to tie them over till the next feed. they are both using nipple shiedls, i cant get them to attach without it ,they gave them to me when we left the hospital so we could feed at home without problems so i express after the feeds cos they dont empty the boob using shields.

im only feeding them 20 mins on the boob then top ups at the moment, the nurse said today no more than 20 mins yet as they use to much energy going longer.

i dont know how im going to cope on my own when hubby goes to work. im not close enough to mum or mil to have them help me BF , i wont even feed infront of them as it is.

you guys are all awesome to be able to do this on your own (especially with triplets) im scared for whats ahead, it feels like im going to be a prisioner in my home for quiet some time yet!