Just a bit alone

[mandimoo123]

Ok well i wont lie to you i have had depressian and im still gettin over it but tha thing is im always still so alone!
I try and get out but thr never seems like there is othr mums round my age who want to met up.
Im beginning to think there is somthing wrong with me i have a beautiful daughter but lately it seems like her dad, dosent want to see us at all like he is always to busy playing little boys with his mates he is 22, but i know its still young and i know he still has to have friends but when do i get too?
We have been fighting a lil bit over petty **** and he dosnet have a job anymore so fair enough its stressful but like its as soon as he is out of bed he is gone and the lil one is gettin really destressed when he goes out the door now thinkin he he is goin?
i dunno maybey im over reacting but im really not seeing the point of staying around to be alone when i am already?

[Karizma]

Happy and lively person, love to have a laugh

This is what your personal profile says... Happy and lively person!!!
You need to find what in your life makes you happy, lively and laugh and surround yourself in this,
If you were from my area I would love to have met up but I am in a different state. It hard when you arent getting the support from your partener, especially when you and your daughter need him to be part of the family, but I dont have any advice except be strong hun...
Maybe you could see your doc for some anti-depresants to help you.

It doesnt sound like he is around much so maybe you need to think about what you want to do. If you thnk you and your daughter would be happier on your own then maybe you should think seriously about that, but I have always been one to encourage to give it all you have before you do that. I know it might be hard but fight really hard, or you are scared he will go out not wanting to listen, but he is going to go out anyway. When bubs is out of ear shot, yell, cry at him everything you want to say to him, and dont let him stop you, you just keep talking until you are finished. What ever you can and at least atempt to make him see what he is doing to you and bubs, then at least you can say you tried, not saying that you havnt, but if you havnt then give it a go.
Thats all the advice I have but good Luck sweetie

[natasha]

Hi Mandimoo,

I do know how you feel. I'm kinda in the same situation. Im 22, on antidepressants and mother of a little 18 month old girl. Sometimes I feel like a single parent. DH would much rather be out with his mates in a pub then be at home with us. DH finds it hard to understand that Im a a person first, and a mum second. I still need ME time. That's hard because there aren't many people who live close to me that I can just meet up for a coffee with. It does get so lonely.

You need to establish a life with you and your daughter that doesn't rely on your partner. See how you go. Don't ask him where he's going , when he's coming back etc. Do your own thing. If you find life easier then maybe you are better off without him. It sounds to me like he's fee loading off you. He has no job, is he looking for one? Or just sitting round all day and then going out with his mates?? Sometimes people are better off alone, start new, then to drag people behind them who are bad for them. Does that make sense?

[mandimoo123]

Hey,
Well free loading is wat feel like im doing paying for everything bymyself till h gets paid from tha doll office, then on top of that he says i can out with him me and bub and then when its all organised its likes whoops sorry no more room maybey nxt time for you and bub?
I have tried sooo sooo hard to talk to him and ive cried and ive been angrey, and hell even had a knife to him he has made me sooo angry, i have got help for tha kinda thing though and im on depressents now.
When i talk to him he seems all understanding thn tha next thing he is goin out playing lil boys again, or else he says well if you wanna go out just tell me and i will take bub, but then whn i do he has somting planned and im just tha ***** trying to wreak his plans once again?
Arghhhhh i dunno writing this is makin me all sad and depressed yeh h isnt home went out this smorning motorbike riding YAY...

[~EmsMum~]

comming your away

[Karizma]

Hun I have no experience with anything like that. But if things are that bad then maybe you do need to go your own way. I am not sure how depressed you are feeling but bubs will be able to tell you are not happy, and is your happiness, and bubs happiness, and life worth putting your time and energy into the relationship if theres no support. Make you question why you are there I totally understand i would be doing the same thing if i was you. Maybe even a break... Have you got somewhere you can go to be away for a while and decide??

[Hokey Pokey]

Sounds like what I have been thru. Sometimes we loose that spark, particulary when a baby comes along. Is there anyway you guys could ask someone to mind the little one for a few hours every fortnight so you guys can spend time together alone?

[Kari_Adel]

Ok well i wont lie to you i have had depressian and im still gettin over it but tha thing is im always still so alone!

I try and get out but thr never seems like there is othr mums round my age who want to met up.
Im beginning to think there is somthing wrong with me i have a beautiful daughter but lately it seems like her dad, dosent want to see us at all like he is always to busy playing little boys with his mates he is 22, but i know its still young and i know he still has to have friends but when do i get too?
We have been fighting a lil bit over petty **** and he dosnet have a job anymore so fair enough its stressful but like its as soon as he is out of bed he is gone and the lil one is gettin really destressed when he goes out the door now thinkin he he is goin?

i dunno maybey im over reacting but im really not seeing the point of staying around to be alone when i am already?

Ohh hun, your story sounds sooo familiar! When DS Jake was only 6 weeks old.. my (ex) partner fell sick with glandular fever and ended up losing his job. Having him home grizzling he was too sick to help one minute, and then out partying, drinking and getting into boyish brawls the next.. made me want to rip his head off! I wanted a man, not an irresponsible boy!

Be careful.. try and sort these probs out asap. Tell your partner how you feel.. that you are alone and need more support. Tell him how important he is to you and your beautiful daughter..

If things cannot be resolved, perhaps it is time to move on. But make sure you're strong enough before you make a decision like that, do not make it in haste.

Look up local mums groups in the area etc or set up a meet-and-greet of your own using these forums. You'd be surprised how many other mums could be in a similiar position!

Chin up honey.. I've been through the same.. and seen the other side and trust me, the sun comes up and its a beautiful sight!

Hugs x 100