I'm not sure if this is the most ideal place to post this but here goes... I have to tell someone what is on my mind... This is the one thing that I can't talk to DP about. The child support thread about people trying to get out of paying child support got me thinking about my DP's Mum.
My DP's Mum came to visit on Monday and we sat down over coffee and had a heart to heart. She raised my DP by herself. DP's Father left her when she refused to have an abortion. Everybody made it quite clear that they thought she should have an abortion. She faced pregnancy basically alone. She never received child support from DP's father. She worked so hard all her life to care for my DP. The only help that she got was from her aunty. Her Aunty used to pick my DP up from school and look after him until she finished work. She raised my DP to be the most kind, caring and considerate man.
I truly had no idea what she had been through until Monday. She told me of how everyone was against my DP being born. How hard it was during her pregnancy and how hard it was with a newborn. How much it hurt for her BF to leave her and tell her he never wanted a child or to have anything to do with DP. How hard it was to hear DP say his first word Dad. How tricky it was to never say a bad word about DP's Father. How until this day she has never told him about how his Father didn't want him and how he told her to terminate.
DP's Father died from a heart attack 2 years ago now. So my DP never got to know his father.
I just can't begin to comprehend how hard it would be. When I first had my DS my DP's Mum would try and take my DS off me to stop him crying. It used to really really really upset me. It made me feel like she didn't like me or respect me, that she thought I was a bad Mum etc. It turns out that she was only trying to help because she knew how hard it was to look after a baby without help.
My DP and I live in Sydney by ourselves. We moved here Easter 08. We don't know many people around here because our neighbours all keep to themselves. I didn't meet many people when I was working because I was working as a casual Primary teacher at many different schools.
I have so much respect for My DP's Mum and am glad that we talked. Having her around doesn't stress me out anymore.
for all the single Mum's out there. I seriously don't know how you do it or where you find your strength. Being a Mum is hard enough without having to do it alone. You all deserve a HUGE pat on your back.