Blake Michael Pendleton

**angelblake** · 28-11-2009 16:11

This is the story of the loss of my beautiful little man Blake Michael.

My partner and I had tried for ages to get pregnant. When i first saw that positive pregnancy test i was over the moon. It had taken so long and i was so happy that i finally was now pregnant.

My pregnancy was pretty much smooth sailing. No complications and levels were good. At 19 weeks pregnant i found out we were having a little boy. I was so exstatic.

However, on Monday 23rd November 2009, i was 26 weeks pregnant. I woke up feeling fine and spent the day on the computer. At lunch time i had a small bleed about the size of half a pinky finger nail. I kept wiping to see if there was anymore and there was nothing so i figure as i had been straining to go to toilet for number two's it had been that.

I went to sleep at about 3pm as i was tired but i was in no pain and hadnt seen anymore blood. I had an awful dream that baby was born at 26weeks pregnant but he was alive.

I woke up about an hour later and had a bit of back pain. I went and bought a cake for my nephews birthday. By 7.30pm the back pain and slight cramping was worrying me and i hadnt felt baby move so i went off to my local hospital Swan Districts.

The put me straight into the maternity room and tried to find his heartbeat but couldnt. As i drove myself, i rang my partner and my sister to come down. Before they arrived i was taken for an ultrasound and was told that my baby boy had died. Everything went to pieces after that. I was transferred to KEMH ( Major womens and babies hospital in Perth) and had another scan done which again said that he had died.

The obstetrician adviced that i had a full placental abruption and had a bleed behind the placenta.

I was given tablets vaginally to soften and thin my cervix. I had an epidural to control the pain but it only worked on my left leg. I had alot of bloods taken and was told my infection levels were through the roof so was put on antibiotics straight away.

At 5.16pm on Tuesday 24th November 2009, Blake Michael was born weighing 725 grams with a length of 32cm's and head circumference of 22cms. He was the most beautiful, perfect little boy i have ever seen... no matter how small he was.

Blake had his autopsy done two days later. As i had a bad infection, lost quite a bit of blood and because of my medical condition they kept me in hospital until today.

I wont find out exactly what went wrong for another 6 weeks when i get back all my tests and Blakes autopsy results. I am now busy making funeral arrangements to bury my beautiful son.

As you can imagine i am torn in two. All i ask myself is Why???? Why me?? What did i do wrong to deserve this? Could i have done something earlier and therefore saved him??

Saying goodbye to Blake this morning and leaving the hospital with empty arms was the most hardest thing i have even had to go through. I sit at home, not knowing what to do with myself and just cry. The next hardest thing will be burying my son. I never thought in my wildest dreams id have to bury my son.

So now, i sit here wondering what to do and why i had to go through this. Im not sure if ill even be able to have a healthy pregnancy again or whether or not it is worth trying again until i get all the results back.

All i know is that i miss you and love you so very much my beautiful boy Blake.

You have taken my heart with you to heaven. Ill never forget you.

R.I.P My little Man
"Fly Free Our Little Angel"

**BeatoNo3** · 28-11-2009 16:21

Firstly let me give u a

... I also had a son at 26 week weighing 758 grams.. Lachlan is now nearly 3 but has many disabilties... I cant say i understand why this happened or understand the pain u r in... However I can relate to that fact of having a bub early we have clinically lost Lachie twice but he is very luck to b in the right place at the right time... My heart goes out to... However my message is dont give up, I had a second pregnancy n his brother Kobi was 10pd 10oz... and altho it was for different reasonns as y i had lachie i had serve PE... I was scared as to have another bub but we did it even tho i worried the whole time... but I honestly wish u the best of luck... Just dont give up...

**Mummy2R&K** · 28-11-2009 16:22

Oh my, I am so very sorry of your loss.

**pinkbella** · 28-11-2009 16:34

Hun, I have no words just tears to shed with you.
I hope you heal physically but moreso, emotionally.
My love and thoughts are with you and your family.
Xoxo bella

**Rebdot** · 28-11-2009 16:39

Tiarna

I read on facebook and Im so sorry.

I hope you stick around.

I wish you all the best and hope to hear great news from you in the future.

Rebecca