Coping.........

[clarebear1983]

How do you cope if you leave the hospital after a c-section and your partner has to go back to work?

DH has decided he doesnt want to study anymore (but is unsure whether he just wnats to switch courses and do something else along with casual/part time work or work full time). If he gets a job now he wont get any leave entitlements in december when i am having my c-section. I am also worried about DS because if DH is working he will have to be in full time care (which we are not entitled to CCB for more than 24 hours)......He will be 2 and i have been told that for a few weeks after the section i am not suposed to pick him up. Last time i didnt cope well with doing things for a few weeks after a c-section and am worried that this time it might be the same.

My mum can take a bit of time off but not a lot so she cant help much. Everyone else, friends and family, work full time and cant take the time to help or they live to far away.

So if DH decides to get a full time job and doesnt get any time off while im in hospital or when i am discharged and i have no friends or family that can help what do i do? Has anyone else been in this situation.

Chances are it might not happen cos DH has found a course or two he is interested in and they are 12 months full time and doing that with some night work we will survive but i just want the "just in case advice"............in some ways i wish he worked it out earlier he felt this way so he could have got a job in time to get annual leave.........arrgghhh having babies is so confusing.

I probably sound like a spoilt brat but I am afraid of being alone while in hospital and afterwards........................

[Mummabear]

You don't sounds like a spoiled brat you sound like you are doing exactly what you should be doing - thinking ahead about how to best take care of yourself and your family.

If your DH ends up going to work fulltime can he mention in the later stages of the interview process (once they offer him the position but before he accepts it) that his wife is having a CS in December and you already have a 2yo and could he take leave to care for you both. There are a lot of family friendly employers out there. You may be pleasantly surprised. You've got nothing to lose by trying.

Apart from that my dear I'm really sorry that I have nothing else to offer. Perhaps contact your local Child & Youth Health office (or whatever it's called in Perth) and see what they can suggest. They might be able to hook you up with a community program that can assist you.

Good luck with it all - and I think it's great that you're giving all of this very serious consideration rather than just waiting to see what happens. A CS is major surgery and you need to be able to recover.

[MummyCharmzy]

If childcare is the only option, then if you go into centrelink and explain your situation to them they will be able to increase your CCB hours to 50+ for 'special circumstances'. I did this during my 2nd pregnancy for my 1st child as I had SPD and was unable to move my legs some days, let alone care for my son.. although I never ended up needing the extra hours as I did have help.

So if thats your only option keep that in mind.

I am almost 3 weeks post op and still need a lot of help with things mostly because i need to rest a lot or the pain in my scar gets quite severe. So make sure you organise as much help as possible.

Other things to remember are cooking bulk meals now and freezing them will REALLY help once you're home from hospital, gives you less to worry about. At least you know your family will be fed!

There is home help you can get called Post Acute care where someone will come out once a week and clean your house for a cpl of hours for you too, so thats another thing you dont need to worry about. They do all the things you cant do after a csect like vaccuum and mop.. or whatever else you need doing even if its washing as u cant lift the washing basket!

hope this helps a little though its not exactly what you were asking!

[mumma3]

I can only speak for myself but I had DD3 last June, My other girls were 7 and 5. I had DD on Tuesday came home Saturday and DH went back to work Monday. I drove the two girls to school then went and did a massive $270 food shop, baby in the capsule part of the trolley. I never had anybody to help when I got home, I resumed all my normal duties. And come this September I will have an 15 month old, 8yr old and 6yr old when I have Baby number 4 by ceaser again. Once again I will HAVE to do what needs to be done! It's a PITA but I guess you have to do what you have to do! Good luck I hope you recover as well as I did.

[mel04]

I had someone help me for the first week, but we were moving house aswell, so i was still looking after both the girls. I coped fine. I actually recovered better from the 2nd one then the 1st.
Any chance of you having a natural birth? That would solve it.
If you can just look after the kids and leave all the housework cooking etc for DH or your mum or someone, then you should be ok.
Is there a friend or someone who could help just in case, even if only an hr a day?
Not everyone recovers easily, so just start asking all family/friends, maybe try and do up a roster.
Otherwise, like someone else suggested, get DH to let the boss know straight away. My DH had to do this and all was fine.
Good Luck!

[clarebear1983]

I had someone help me for the first week, but we were moving house aswell, so i was still looking after both the girls. I coped fine. I actually recovered better from the 2nd one then the 1st.
Any chance of you having a natural birth? That would solve it.
If you can just look after the kids and leave all the housework cooking etc for DH or your mum or someone, then you should be ok.
Is there a friend or someone who could help just in case, even if only an hr a day?
Not everyone recovers easily, so just start asking all family/friends, maybe try and do up a roster.
Otherwise, like someone else suggested, get DH to let the boss know straight away. My DH had to do this and all was fine.
Good Luck!

I dont want a natural birth after what i went through the first time and i read about VBACs and decided it wasnt "me". I think my best bet is to see if centrelink will give me extra childcare hours just in case and then just cope....everyone keeps saying im a strong person so its time i showed them they were right!!!!!! Mum says she can get from the time DH's mother leaves until after christmas/new year off and by then i will be 3 weeks post c-section so i think i am going to be fine. too bad all my friends work or live like an hour away!!! I will just have to get mum and DH to do the house work so all i have to worry about during the day is getting lunch for DS and breastfeeding.........then DS and i can have time together watching TV while i recover :-)

Thanks everyone for advice!!! You guys have been so great!!!!

[brizbabe]

I think my best bet is to see if centrelink will give me extra childcare hours just in case and then just cope....

The increased hours that someone has suggested because of your current circumstances is called Exceptional circumstances-increased hours.

It can only be approved by a particular "team" in Centrelink. To apply for it you will need to be using a childcare centre at the time of claim, and the childcare service sends a claim form to this "team" for approval or rejection depending on the evidence (such as Drs report)
Either copy and paste the below link (or if that doesn't work) Go to centrelink website->businesses tab->childcare providers tab->and then it is the 2nd downloadable claim form: It describes some of the reasons under which it may be granted.

http://www.centrelink.gov.au/internet/internet.nsf/filestores/fa023_0607/$file/fa023_0607en_p.pdf

Good luck with everything