Do you take your step kids on holidays?

**faroutbrusselsprout** · 19-10-2009 18:48

This would be great if I could hear from people who have step kids from their husbands previous relationships who don't live with you full time ...(and you've since had kids together!)

We are planning a trip in Jan with our two boys (5 and 8 months) and not taking DH's son (12) for a variety of reasons...

Do you "do things" as a family unit without your step kids?
Why? What? When? How?

Would love open and honest answers!

**kezzaskids** · 19-10-2009 18:56

yes we took his children and ours. We had his children every weekend and all school hols. I didnt want to go without thm.

**JiminyCricket** · 19-10-2009 19:04

I met my partner and he already had 3 boys, we now have one of our own.
We have the stepkids more often than you though because they are with us majority of the time they go to the birth mothers 2 days a week.

In regards to holidays, so far we have had holidays both with the stepkids and without them.
My partner feels bad if we dont go with them but I believe that we should be able to go without them because its not very relaxing for us when we take 3 boys aged 5,6,8 along with us.

Our last holiday we took them to the otways for a week so its now my turn to pick a place to go with just DP my son and me.
Even though we cant go for long because the stepkids are never away for long.

Whenever my partner starts saying how bad it is that his kids are'nt coming i just remind him that they get to go on holidays with thier birth mother, they get two bedrooms, they get double the presents at xmas and bdays .So why cant I have the best of both worlds too.

**faroutbrusselsprout** · 19-10-2009 19:05

Kezzaskids How many kids do you both have all up? How is the dynamic amongst them all?

**faroutbrusselsprout** · 19-10-2009 19:07

Originally Posted by Jupiter_Jay

I met my partner and he already had 3 boys, we now have one of our own.
We have the stepkids more often than you though because they are with us majority of the time they go to the birth mothers 2 days a week.

In regards to holidays, so far we have had holidays both with the stepkids and without them.
My partner feels bad if we dont go with them but I believe that we should be able to go without them because its not very relaxing for us when we take 3 boys aged 5,6,8 along with us.

Our last holiday we took them to the otways for a week so its now my turn to pick a place to go with just DP my son and me.
Even though we cant go for long because the stepkids are never away for long.

Whenever my partner starts saying how bad it is that his kids are'nt coming i just remind him that they get to go on holidays with thier birth mother, they get two bedrooms, they get double the presents at xmas and bdays .So why cant I have the best of both worlds too.

Wow! 3 Step kids, I take my hat off to you... It's such a tough job..
I really related to your answer.

**alphafemale2901** · 23-10-2009 07:26

One of my skids lives with us permanently so he is part of our family and is involved with everything we do.

The other two live with their mother and DH doesn't see them ever, so they're not involved with anything. Even if DH did see them, I don't believe they would be involved with family stuff in any significant way. My SS doesn't see his mother either and isn't invited to be involved in anything they do.

Everyone's situation is different though. Whatever works for you and your family is just fine I reckon.

**spoon** · 23-10-2009 07:36

My husband has a child from a previous relationship and I also have a child from a previous relationship plus we have 3 of our own. Sometimes we take the older kids and sometimes we do not. It depends on how much money we want to spend, where we want to go and how we feel. I don't beat myself up for what we decide because we have taken them to some amazing holidays while the bio mother has not taken my step daughter away anywhere for the whole time I have known her which is 5 years.

**Beachside Mumma** · 23-10-2009 07:56

We generally go away at Christmas time for 2-3 weeks and then it's only long weekends throughout the rest of the year because of our business. The years it is our turn to have DSS for Christmas, he always comes on our holidays and the years it's not, we usually have him straight after Christmas, so he comes on some of our holiday then too. As for the rest of the year, if he's with us when we go away then he comes, if he's not then he doesn't. We can't put our lives on hold and not do things just because DSS isn't with us, but at the same time he's definitely not excluded from holidays with us and we try and plan the big things for when he's with us so he can come too.

**moozle** · 23-10-2009 08:19

This is a very good question. I have been wondering the same thing. We are going on a honeymoon next year after our wedding and of course we are taking DS (he'll only be 18 months) my new MIL and FIL will be coming with us as well as my Mum and my sister... don't worry, we've organised some alone time and are all staying separately he he BUT I feel like we should bring DSS too?? I feel really mean sending him home to his Mum the day after the wedding while we all head off to tropical island paradise?! What do you all think? Sorry to steal your post :P Actually... maybe I'll just start my own...