I'm not sure why I'm posting this but.....

**havealaugh** · 14-10-2009 20:30

I'M CONFUSED. DP & I have a gorgeous, funny, smart, independant 5 (almost 6) yr old. I love her more than I have anything in my life. She came about from a relationship with my DP...we had only known eachother for 3 months before I fell pregnant (complete accident, contraception was used), at first I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but now.....I don't know how I could bare to be without DD. Six months ago I felt like I wanted a sibling for DD......DP has been wanting a second for ages. I was sure I wanted another......but now I'm not so sure. Is it selfish of me to be only thinking financially??? Because that's pretty much what I'm doing. I want to send DD to a private secondary school, I want to give DD a unit/house when she is 21.....I want so many things for her......
I'm not looking for answers.....not really sure why Ive written all this but I have....sorry.

**delirium** · 14-10-2009 20:36

No you aren't selfish. If you only want one, that's your business and you shouldn't feel like you have to explain it to anyone. Just try and ensure she gets lots of interaction thru day care/play dates/play group and she will be just fine.

**sunnymummy** · 14-10-2009 20:38

You are not being selfish by wanting to give your child things.

BUT.. I think the best thing you could give her is a sibling

**Ana Gram** · 14-10-2009 21:04

No, I don't think it is selfish. There is nothing wrong with having one child.

**havealaugh** · 14-10-2009 21:09

She is at kinder this year & starting school next year....she can read, write, do simple maths & has made quite a good friendship group. She has the best sense of humour (can't half tell that she is my world!) She has recently been asking about why she doesnt have a brother or a sister....that's probably been the hardest part. She seems to WANT a sibling.....but I'm just not so sure...yet. YIKES..didin't think all this would be so hard!

**Ana Gram** · 14-10-2009 21:15

DD is 5 and asks for a sibling as well. So I understand.

**havealaugh** · 14-10-2009 21:33

Does it concern you at all??? I almost feel like I'm robbing her of something. She is the only one at her kinder without a sibling, & suspect it'll be the same at school next year. All of my friends around me are only now starting to have their first child & I have a sneaking suspision that I'm beginning to think twice because of that! A year ago I wouldn't have even considered the thought of a second child! Plus with the first child being so perfect I'd be concerned the second one couldn't live up to my expectations!!!

**crazymuma** · 14-10-2009 20:38

Good luck with whatever you decide but just remember you don't HAVE to have another baby - having only one for financial reasons isn't selfish at all if thats what you want.

**4OnEarth1InHeaven** · 14-10-2009 22:21

I myself could not imagine only having one child (obviously

), but you need to do what you want and speak to DP about how you are feeling, but don't say you don't just because of financial reasons. I have friends who only want one child and good on them for knowing what they want. Just don't have another baby for your DD or DP otherwise you may despise that baby.
Good Luck and please please talk about it.

**MermaidSister** · 14-10-2009 22:27

I don't think there's anything wrong with only wanting one child and wanting to give them the best. I am pregnant again and totally unsure about it precisely because i worry i will now not be able to provide as well for my first never mind the second. But, straight up, it sounds more like the reason you don't want another is not completely financial...obviously i don't know you and can only read a shallow level of the issue from your post but you talk about your girl being "so perfect" and "your world" so really i get a sneaking suspicion you are worried about this perfect picture being shattered by a new baby who may not be "good enough" in a sense? So perhaps keeping it at one would be best for you if a sibling would be forever living in their sister's shadow. Still i wonder if your girl is starting the feel the pressure of being "so perfect" and her mother's entire world. Just a thought.