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[TrulyBlessed]

Hi guys I'm new to this section & really floundering away with emotions & everything

We found out Thursday at an ante natal appointment that our baby had passed away in the previous few days.

Friday night at 7.35pm we welcomed our darling son Jacob Connor into the world born sleeping & too precious for this world.

I am so lost & leaving hospital without him was the worst thing I've ever had to do.

I have to meet with the funeral home tomorrow & don't know what to expect or what I'll need to do to plan this funeral.

All I really want is my baby boy back.

Amy

[FullMoon]

I have no advice or anything as to what you should expect at the home..

But I am so very truly and deeply sorry for your loss!
Take care and time to heal.

I am so sorry! HUGS

[Luv2BaMummy]

I'm so sorry for your loss... My thoughts are with you.

[Just Add Water]

Oh I'm so sorry for your loss

I can't offer you any information about what's to follow though unfortunately.

[WTK]

Hi guys I'm new to this section & really floundering away with emotions & everything

We found out Thursday at an ante natal appointment that our baby had passed away in the previous few days.

Friday night at 7.35pm we welcomed our darling son Jacob Connor into the world born sleeping & too precious for this world.

I am so lost & leaving hospital without him was the worst thing I've ever had to do.

I have to meet with the funeral home tomorrow & don't know what to expect or what I'll need to do to plan this funeral.

All I really want is my baby boy back.

Amy

Hi Amy
Darlin heart I know exactly how you feel, our son was born sleeping last year at 41+5. What you are feeling and going thru is yes, heartbeaking. I can offer some advice if you like.

The funeral home people are there to listen and help you thru all aspects of what is to come. They will probably suggest a celebrant who will be your guide. He/she will help you arrange the order of service, pick songs, maybe arrange for someone special to say a few words. Just remember its completely up to you how you want your service so don't be afraid to speak up. Its going to be very hard and I can promise you there will be many tears. Keep a flower as a momento and make sure you get an order of service for your own.

Our service was lovely. It was only for family, friends came to the wake after. We picked 2 songs, light a candle and said goodbye in our own way. Our celebrant was amazing, she came to our house a couple of days beforehand and helped us decide what was going to be said and in what order. We couldn't have done it without her.

Best of luck with the coming days. Take help from those who offer it, don't feel like you have to do everything yourself. Big hugs to you and remember your beautiful Jacob Connor will forever be with you

[kimberlee]

Oh Amy - my heart just sunk when I saw the title of your post in this section.

I can relate a little bit - we lost our beautiful daughter at 36.5 weeks after a perfect healthy pregnancy - she was a perfect and healthy 8.5 lbs already - absolutely nothing wrong with her.

We didn't have a traditional funeral - we are both expats with no family and very few friends in Australia - we actually ended up losing friends through our experience. I think it can be very hard for people to deal with the horror of someone losing a child and the grieving that accompanies it.

I had a c-section and left the hospital in under 24 hours of our arrival - I couldn't stay listening to crying babies - I wanted mine to cry too.

Our dealings with the funeral home were to have them come to collect some special things I wanted cremated along with her and they came to deliver her ashes to us - our initial plan was to spread her ashes in a special place but I cannot part with them yet - I thought I could do it on her 1st anniversary but I couldn't and her second anniversary is in November and I know I can't do it then either - I get some comfort of having them - I have a feeling I will ask to have mine spread with hers when I go.

I still relive that day every single day - It's like it plays over in my mind in a flash - some days certain parts go slower - it's like I'm watching a movie and hoping for a different outcome every time but I snap back to reality and realize I have 2 not 3 living daughters like I'm supposed to have.

I'm sorry I can't offer any words of wisdom or experience planning a funeral but if you ever want to talk about Jacob I'm always around.

[Rebdot]

We were in the same due date thread


all the info I have is to make as many memories as possible, I regret not taking enough things that reminded me of him, photos, blankets ect, I demanded the blanket he was wrapped in unwashed,

Its got the hospital name on it but I didn't care.

Also another hubber who lost twins at 16 weeks found that most funeral homes offer there services i.e cremation for free for babies born under 20 weeks, which surely would make things alot easier for you in this sad time.

I also wanted to add-


I can relate to how you felt about leaving hospital without your baby Amy, It takes a lot of strength, My brother had a bike acciedent the morning after I left hospital and no one else could go and sit with him til he needed to go to Melbourne so I had to go and the ward he was in was joined to the maternity ward and it was horrible sitting there hearing other peoples babies and knowing that Gabriel was still most likely some where in the hospital.

[beachmummy]

Oh Amy
I'm so sorry sweet

We have also been through this. I know exactly how you felt leaving the hospital. It really is the worst feeling. I am crying right now just remembering it.

I know there is nothing I can say to make the hurt go away, but please know you are not alone and my heart goes out to you.

[TrulyBlessed]

Thanks for your kind words guys. I really appreciate them.

I'm finding some days better than others & the worse ones are the worst. Even get to the point of being sick to my stomach.

Sorry I haven't replied earlier just ended back up in hospital a couple of times with retained placenta (dnc 23/9) then again Sunday & only got home yesterday.

[SomewhereOverTheRainbow]

I am so so sorry to hear this. Words won't do much to help, but as others have said just know that you are not alone and there are plenty of hubbers who have been through similar experiences willing to listen to anything you want to vent, be it grief, frustration, anger... there are so many emotions at a time like this...

Also another hubber who lost twins at 16 weeks found that most funeral homes offer there services i.e cremation for free for babies born under 20 weeks, which surely would make things alot easier for you in this sad time.

, we lost our beautiful son at 19 weeks and were offered this service by a wonderful funeral home. I'm not sure how far along you were...i think if you are over 20 weeks you are able to get the baby bonus as a lump sum in situations like this to assist with funeral costs. We obviously couldn't at 19 weeks as it was classed as a 'miscarriage' so the cremation was a massive help to us.
We didn't have a funeral, I didn't want one at the time so we just had a memorial at the park with our families and released some balloons.