Spinoff from Maire's spinoff

**OneNowOneLater** · 24-08-2009 23:03

Essentially i'm going to base this thread on sam's mum post on the top of p17 of the Male reproductive rights thread..... For those who havent read the whole thread, here's what she said.

I am not advocating a point of view, but I just wanted to ask a question.

does anyone believe that there is more pressure on women to abort because men know that this will absolve them from the need to pay child support?

I'm going to add a poll which asks my questions, cos i dont know how to word it so succinctly like this.

**Bubmum** · 24-08-2009 23:10

I think this situation can only be for people who don't know each other that well, or are in short term realtionships..Is that right?
The man will always freak out and want to get rid of it, as so do a whole bunch of women. I think it takes a very fierce Mother to forge ahead alone and protect her child (albeit even in its foetal stage).

**sockstealingpoltergeist** · 24-08-2009 23:25

My ex encouraged me to have my child, he said he would support me and allways be there for our child no matter what. So he did not pressure me to have an abortion. He said he did not want me to have one (abortion).

After we seperated he said he was forced into fatherhood and even questioned paternity untill he realised he would have to pay for the test.

**OneNowOneLater** · 24-08-2009 23:58

I think it could be related to any relationship circumstance really. Short term, or even long term (and the whole fatherhood thing makes him freak out)

**kezzaskids** · 25-08-2009 01:12

To be honest Im not sure what you want to know or how to answer this and people will probably think I am doing or have done the wrong thing.....

I was in a relationship with a man for 4 years, we didnt live together. I fell pregnant whilst taking the pill. This man said he didnt want a child and if we were to continue our relationship then I was to abort the baby. I said no. it was my choice to continue the pregnancy. I have not seen this man since I was about 12 weeks pregnant and he has not met his child and does not want to.
I do not seek child support from him nor do I want his money. I am more then capable of providing for my child (along with my other children) without his financial contribution. It was my choice to continue to have the child against his wishes, he does not want children, so I take total responsibility for him.
This is a decision for each individual to make based on their own circumstances I think.... In my case it wasnt a financial decision that he wanted me to abort, at least I dont think so anyway as I made it very clear that I wouldnt go for CS unless he voluntarily wanted to be a part of his childs life but he flat out wants no part and I respect that.

Did I kind of answer the question

**OneNowOneLater** · 25-08-2009 01:22

I think i mainly asked, out of curiosity on how many men try and coerce females out of pregnancy, by asking/demanding they have abortions, so they get out of any kind of responsibility to the child - whether it be financial or physical.

In my own case, fob asked me to have an abortion with DD as well. And as u can see by my avatar, i refused. He pays CS, and has never wanted to meet his daughter. His loss really.

**kezzaskids** · 25-08-2009 05:01

yep Cool. I am amazed at how common it is actually and it is so sad. When I was going through it I felt like I was the only person in the world to have to make such a decision. Unfortunatly now I see it is not the case

I still feel sad for my DS that in the years ahead I am going to have to answer some hard questions and also a little sad for FOB that he has give up such a wonderful child. As you said it is definitly his loss and I would not change my decision for a minute. xx

**BigRedV** · 25-08-2009 05:58

I'm not a single parent but my friend is. FOB told her to have an abortion but she couldn't so she kept the baby. Her DD is now 11 and he hardly pays any CS. He wasn't even at the birth, he already had another girlfriend. He works overseas so he doesn;t have to pay and has an ABN so his actual income is way higher than his taxable income which is wrong. he owes her $3000 for 2007 and he is not paying it. He has a new wife now with a baby (whose birth he also missed because he was overseas

) His wife knows he isn't paying any CS and actually laughed at my friend when she pointed this out to the wife...meanwhile the wife lives in a mansion that was part of the separation between her and her first husband. Still, she is has a child to this deadbeat now and is starting to realise what he is like, he is never there because he works overseas and she is almost a single mum herself.

He can't afford CS but has al the latest gadgets