Fessing Up... I just cant do this anymore...

**MilkOnTap** · 03-07-2006 09:59

As most of you know by now, my hubby has been away in the gulf for 4 months now and I'm not coping very well. The last few days have been the worst. My hair is falling out by the handful, I now have bald spots on my head, I have had the flu and cant seem to shake it (where by now I normally would have), I'm not eating, feel depressed, lonely, sad, crying all the time and I just want my husband home.

Emails have been sent back and forth between my hubby and the chaplain on his ship. I cant call him - but he can call me (once in a blue moon). Hubby is optimistic that he will be sent home. The chaplain is saying that its not likely that he will be sent home. DCO is saying that he definitely wont be sent home. Who am I supposed to believe???

It seems that they cant see a cry for help when its screaming at them in the face. Almost like they wont act unless one of us slit our wrists or something - heaven forbid it come to that... Why wont they listen or pay any attention to the depression that we have both fallen into and why wont they DO anything about it?

DCO (Defence Community Organisation) have organised for me to see a counsellor today - the same woman who told me that hubby definitely wont be sent home.

Does anyone have any suggestions on what I am supposed to say to this woman?
Is taking a sample of the hair from my shower drain too much?
How am I supposed to convince them to send my hubby home?

**meme** · 03-07-2006 10:27

hi pink lady, it sounds like you are going through a really distressing time.
my dp is away for a month with work and it is difficult and lonely some days. we have been doing it for a while now.
i have started taking a multi vitamin/iron supplement to help boost my health and immune system. i am trying to foster strong friendships (but it's hard) where i can get support and a listening ear. i am goiing to exercise more to boost my happy hormones.
it's b*****hard sometimes to get out of feeling yuck. but you need to look after yourself and do what you can to get some happiness and cope until your dp comes home, regardless of when that is. i think.

good luck with it. i hope that you find the counselling useful, maybe you would be better finding a counsellor who you feel a rapport with.

**misskittyfantastico** · 03-07-2006 10:57

Oh hun

Just say to this woman what you've said in this post. Don't try and "pretend" because that's always the instinctive thing to do.
Be honest....even show her some of your recent posts.
I'm praying that your DH will be home ASAP.

**Pixie** · 03-07-2006 11:35

Ally I still don't know what to say just be honest with her...GL

**JasmineLouise** · 03-07-2006 12:49

You poor thing. You are really struggling here! I think you should tell her exactly how you feel. Use it as therapy, let it all out to her (tears and all) im sure shes seen it all before. Do you have any friends or family that can support you until a resolution is reached? Goodluck with the meeting. I'm sure she will see how much the situation is affecting you. Keep your chin up

**MumsieMel** · 03-07-2006 12:53

oh Ally

I hope today goes well for you and they send him home asap.
I had no idea that things were so bad for you

Please call me any time ok? Im here

**Peaceangels** · 03-07-2006 13:37

Ally, it is a very hard situation to be in (separated for mths on end from your DH), especially when you are ttc.
I do hope the counselling gives you a bit of emotional peace, just let it all out, don't hold back. That way the counsellor will see exactly what state you are in and hopefully help make some positive changes.
Also, get yourself some Vitamin C and Garlic tablets and start taking them 3 times a day to get rid of your flu, or another quick fix to flush out your system of bugs is to get some Apple Cider Vinegar (from the supermarket - where all the vinegars are) and put 1.5tblspn in a glass with ice and water and make one to drink every hour for 8 hours. It works, I did it last week!

I'm here if you need to chat any time, by pm or mobile. Look after yourself hun

**MilkOnTap** · 03-07-2006 14:16

Well I'm back. I just saw both the counsellor and my doctor. The counsellor advised me that I quit my job and go up north to be with family/friends until Grant comes back. I have to agree that living in an empty house 24/7, especially while sick is certainly not helping. (BTW - Thanks for the tips on the apple vinegar stuff)

My doctor then offered to put me on anti-depressants

I'm no too keen to do that, so she said for me to think about it over night and then go back to her tomorrow.

Maybe I will go on the anti-depressants, even if its just for a short while til I get my head back above water again... She told me that they're addictive though - and I'm not sure if I want to go there or not...

Theres just so much to think about right now **sigh**

**MumsieMel** · 03-07-2006 14:20

Awww Ally

i think going to your family is a good idea, esp if they wont send him home yet.
It would only be till he got back.

Id hang out with ya in the city alll the time if i lived there!

Dont know about the anti dep arent they no good for TTC???

**Chickadee** · 03-07-2006 14:23

Originally Posted by Pink Lady

She told me that they're addictive though - and I'm not sure if I want to go there or not...

Ally, Hugs to you

I don't have any advice other than to do what you think is going to be best for you at this point. Working, living apart from your hub, it's all stressful. If your family and friends can help you through it then being closer to them may be a good idea.

On the anti-depressants... my dr specifically said that they're not addictive. Although some people may need to continue taking them long term, they're not addictive like alcohol or other drugs are. I don't know what the real story is