Im choosing to terminate

[p77]

Im am an everyday user of BH, and am currently more than 13 weeks pregnant, I changed my name for privacy.

Due to problems with my partner im choosing to have an abortion,

We were both happy to have this baby but he changed his mind recently and I dont feel I want to be connected to him for the rest of my life,

We have announced our pregnancy to both our families and friends also.

We have been together a while and we are both at the right age, we are both well off financially but things have changed between us lately and I feel that when our baby is born our problems will only get worse,

I dont want to have a child whose father isnt involved in his or her life either.

Im catholic and this has been a very difficult choice for me.

I hoped we would have a family but now I dont see that happening, It saddens me to have to do this and im not sure how I will go when the time comes in a week and a half to have it done.


My partner is very abusive as of late and I have considered having our baby alone but I feel it will only give him a reason to keep coming back into my life.

In the past he has used other factors to "get me to re enter our relationship" and I am sure that this will be a big one he will use if i continue with it,

I guess due to his abuse I have a low self esteem and I have always taken him back and I always regret it but I fear this is something I will repeat over and over again if I am connected to him for the rest of my life,


Family have asked me not to do it due to it being more dangerous in the 2nd trimester.


I was over the moon to be finally pregnant and I couldnt wait to get to this point, starting to show, feel movements ect, but his voiced his opinion so many times about him not wanting this baby, that he thinks he will leave after it is born without warning and other remarks, wanting me to have an abortion, he has slowly dragged me down to where I just dont feel the same way about this pregnancy as I did and I no longer see it in a good light, I only see it as an attachment to a person I would like out of my life in everyway.

[meggie09]

[julez19]

i have nothing else to say but just wanted to let you know that Im sure you are doing the right thing for yourself and you have a place to talk and vent and get some good advice at least

[SassyMummy]

I hope I'm not out of line in saying this...

You say you want a termination, but you also sound like you're speaking from a purely emotional standpoint at the moment - not like it's something you've given a lot of rational thought to. I obviously have no idea what's been going on in your head, it's just how your post reads.

I am not against terminations, and in fact would consider one for myself if I found myself pregnant at an undesirable time in my life... but I don't know, the whole of your post just seems full of anger and emotion toward your partner (ex?)... and I fear that's all you're really thinking about at the moment. I would hate for you to make such a decision while your head is blurred with disgust and upset... and live to regret it later.

One thing worth considering would be your partner in this... you say you want him out of your life forever, and perhaps a termination will give you that... but perhaps it'll give you reason to think of him every day... if you regret your decision that is. You've given him a lot of power here - allowing him to, basically, decide the fate of your pregnancy. Is that really what you want for a man you seem so angry at?

I think you should definitely make the right decision for you, I just don't want you to make it in the heat of the moment, or because you're angry right now.

Please think about it rationally, clearly... perhaps ask questions about single parenthood, about women who've been in a similar situation to yours (because there are some around here), about dealing with a tosser ex.

Seriously look into your options.

Right a list of pros and cons.

Figure it out rationally... so that you know you did your best to avoid regret later in life.

Just make sure you make the right decision for YOU... I will not judge you either way, just make sure you know you're doing what's best for you.

[Romer]

what a terrible situation to be in! Can i just ask have you thought about adoption? Or telling him you had an abortion but keeping the baby that way he wont know?

Good luck

[Chickadee]

More hugs
It's a huge decision, and I'm glad that you were able to discuss it with your family even if they don't agree with it. All I can suggest is that you take advantage of any available counselling offered by your doctor or the clinic to help sort through all your emotions, now and afterwards.

[2s'nuff]

Lisa

[Mathermy]

I'm sorry all this is happening

[calsmum]

You need to do what is right for YOU. Perhaps you could talk with a counsellor or some other third party so you get an unbiased opinion and some professional advice... Best wishes for whatever you decide. You are a stronger woman then you give yourself credit for...

[Oya]