looking for help.

[Ocelia]

I'm at a loss to where to look for help.

I'm 22 struggling with depression since I was 10. I was finally settled with a fantastic job in my chosen field and on the verge of getting my own place but then I found out I was pregnant and not just pregnant into the second trimester pregnant. I was going to have an abortion but couldn't bring myself to do it knowing it was fully formed. My family were fine about it actually most were thrilled but feel I have no support now it's all there for after the birth.

I got into a hospital but they haven't told me anything the doctor just asked past history, sent me to get some more blood tests before tacking on 'any physical problems?' before saying bye bye.

I don't even know what facilities they have they were just really ****ty that I didn't know I was pregnant sooner.

I've tried asking friends for help but they're just worried, my mother just tells me to stop crying and to shut up, so does my sister actually. I just feel so worthless and occassionally suicidal. I don't want to go back on drugs though as the ones I was on will mean baby has withdrawal symptoms.

I'm now house sitting which saves on hotel costs as I can't stay at home, after they get back my boss has said I can stay with them which is nice but they don't know how i'm feeling.

I just want some one to talk to but no idea where to start.

[sunnyflower]

i am sorry you feel so unsupported.

your family doesn't sound like they are there for you.

is it possible to firstly get into a more supportive hospital?

i would find out all the local hospitals in your area and then search for them on here or post a thread up to find out how other members have found the care.

also we have a young mums thread ,introduce yourself there as well.

do you have a salvation army in your area?they provide wonderful counselling and may help you with housing.

i really wish you lots of luck.

[Linda01]

Im so sorry you feel like this. It must be tough not having the support. If you need to chat just pm me, i'd be happy to be a shoulder for you.

[Chickadee]

There are heaps of support services and networks, it's just hard to find them sometimes and especially in a first pregnancy. Without knowing what sort of help or information you're looking for, I'm only going to make a few broad suggestions...

- go see your GP, tell him you're concerned about depression coming back and ask for a referral for subsidized counselling sessions. I think that having a counsellor or psychologist on your side in this is going to be a huge help - someone to talk to and help guide you through to a beautiful baby.

- write down your questions, anything you're concerned about with the pregnancy or after bub is born. Don't worry about whether it might be a silly question. It might sound too simple, but getting them on paper instead of muddling around in your head is very helpful and the first step in getting answers and help.

- call your hospital, or look at their website (most have them) and find out what prenatal services they have. Don't be put off if you don't get a good answer. Phone and ask again. Most hospitals will have tours available of the labour and maternity wards, some form of prenatal classes, and may have additional conselling available.

- If you have not already done it, join in with your birth month section of this forum. There will be a dozen or more ladies who are all going through the same things and have similar questions and worries to you.

- There are heaps of support groups and helplines available. Many are listed on BubHub, try <depression services> and <pregnancy infohub>.

- consider a student doula. Doulas are there to help prepare you for the birth and during the birth. Students are usually looking for experience and will not charge you. Some advertise here on the forum.

I really hope that you can find a support network that works for you, so that you can start to enjoy your pregancy

[LilShenanigans]

Agree to check out the support info and numbers we have here, there's lifeline there and they are awesome to talk to about anything really.

Indeed you really have to get back to see your GP, with a history of depression, theres higher risk of PND.. with that you need that support there during and after. GP can refer you to a different hospital, but also get you in touch with counsellors or psychologists, and after birth activities to help you out.

Theres always support, just sometimes its through different avenues then what you expect..

[Ocelia]

I finally found someone after lifeline put me onto the pregnancy helpline who couldn't help and the pregnancy support line who couldn't help and in the end I got a referal to someone via beyond blue. Appointment Monday for counselling and she'll help me find somewhere to live as I don't really want to be homeless with a newborn baby.

[Chickadee]

It's too bad that it took so many tries, but that took a lot of courage to keep looking for support. I really hope your appointment on monday is helpful

[spoon]

Hang in there mate, there will be help for you I promise. I think this little baby will be a BLESSING. Hang on and see what happens. I know you feel lonely, but I think some major sunshine is hust around the corner for you.

[Ocelia]

thanks guys.

I know things will be fine but only when i'm in a good way. Lucky work keeps me sane most of the time funny because I work with babies.

[Ocelia]

A complete waste of time today was, they don't have counsellors there when I called I asked them that! They did give me all the phone numbers of places that I already have next to the computer!
Seems I can't find a counsellor I could afford once I'm on centrelink, I can't find anywhere to live, they all say sorry we can't help you I guess it's count down until I get to go live in my car. I'm just so upset I can't find anything I need. I still can't find the number of the maternity ward.
I just wish my mother would say hello to me. I feel absolutly worthless right now.