This may seem like a very odd topic and I really need some advice or just some support not really sure yet..
A little background.....
My DD1 was due to be born on the 12 Jan 2007. I was very overdue and on the 22nd of Jan the hospital decided to induce me... I was already petrified of the whole birthing experiance and really wanted to go naturally but then have a csection. I was in hospital for 3days strapped to the bed being induced as my DD1 was very stubborn and didn't want to arrive into the world. She finally appeared on the 25th, I suprisingly last the whole 3 days, no food, small amounts of water, no sleep and drug free. I was so tired towards the end I didn't feel the contractions or crowning. I was falling asleep during the contractions.
DD2 was stubborn also, due on the 9th of May 2008, still nothing. On the 20th, once again I was booked in for inducement and to have my water broken. Luckyly she arrived that day, but there were some minor complications. I was in servere pain the whole time, alot more than a normal childbirth, once i started pushing she got stuck as the pain was unbearable, and we nearly lost her. She ariived bright blue and no crying. The midwives were about to call her stillborn then a cry appeared out of no where, she ended up being a very healthy baby girl.
I am expecting my 3rd and 4th babies ( twins ) on Dec 27th. I am already having complications, there is blood in the uterus which is attached to one baby, when I have been to my gp they can hear one strong heartbeat and one very faint one, they say it's the position of the 2nd baby and not to worry and there is still something. Tomorrow I will be 20 weeks. I guess what I am trying to get at is I am petrified of birthing again drug free. I have never been one to want drugs
I guess, well I do not know maybe I will feel like a failure, not remember anything, or in some of my friends cases being so numb they don't know when to push. It could be a mixture of both. I do not want a c-section this time like with my 1st, but I cannot bare going through it again drug free.
What drugs are available? are there side effects to either myself or my babies?
I guess I am really confused and scared and don't want to be a failure for not delivering the twins naturally.....
If you read this far thankyou