Is it habit or is something wrong? Maybe TMI for some.

[StrawberryTheMilkshake]

Hi there

Just need your opinions/ ideas.

DD for the last 2 weeks, on and off, at night, will say that her vagina area is sore. The first night we thought 'ok, maybe didnt wipe herself properly at school' and there was no redness or indicator of chaffing. She wears stockings to school so i dont know if thats whats bothering her.

Anyway, i put some vaseline on it because she was beside herself with saying "it hurts".

She's not expressed any pain when weeing, but since that night, she will say "ow its sore!" and want the vaseline maybe every two to three nights.

I had another look and there is no redness or chaffing, and no indication that she is in pain when weeing. And if i say "theres nothing wrong, you wont need cream tonight", she goes nuts saying it hurts.

I have a feeling the "its sore" / cream scenario is so she can enjoy the feeling of the cream? Because its vaseline, i let her put it on herself, and she knows where it hurts... I put it on her groin, thinking it would help, and she was saying "no i want it in the part (clitoris, etc) too". So i let her put it there. When she says it hurts, theres no tears, nothing.

She's 5 so has obviously began to 'feel' and 'notice' herself. She often has a good feel on the loo and before i say ill have a look. I dont look every time, ive looked for the redness maybe 4 times. Maybe shes feeling herself more that i dont notice so she is making it sore?

So I just want advice on how to handle this?

I dont want to diminish her telling me when she is sore, or if it is hurting, because (god forbid) if she was ever hurt, i want her to tell me. But, the 'its sore' thing - it never happens during the day, its only at night. She's not having any issues with sleep/ school, anything else like that.

But, i dont want to encourage this habit of nightly cream, with drawing attention to it.

Of course i dont care if she feels herself (its hers), i just dont want to make a big deal out of it.... know what i mean?

She hasnt lost bladder control, doesnt have any discharge, nothing like that.

Any advice?

Thanks

STM

[quaver]

has she been on antibiotics- could it be a thrush?

I would maybe get it checked out by a dr if she is saying it, then you can be assured if it is nothing medicle you can then try and stop her habit. then you can talk to her a little more andbe confident that she is not in pain.

maybe make sure her undies are cotton, and look at different stockings?

as a person who has suffered many uti, it could be that even if she has no other symptoms.

[SPC]

Tricky! I'd go with a frank chat and ask her if she thinks she needs to see a doctor. Just in case it is a problem and not just a behavioural issue.

I have a friend whose small daughter got a hair tangled round her clitoris, [probably from being too friendly with a hairbrush], and it was a real problem to remove. She decided to take her to the hospital rather than tackle it herself - but I think it was fairly obvious what the problem was.

[StrawberryTheMilkshake]

Hi there,

No theres no thrush. Its as clear as day.

She only ever wears cotton underwear and she wears this under the stockings. Its why i put the vaseline on the groin in case the skin was irritated there too.

But seriously, theres nothing to even indicate anything wrong. im not a doctor though.

So say it is nothing, what advice can anyone give about breaking the habit?

Should i just say im not looking and thats it? Like i said, i dont want to discourage her telling me if she is EVER sore....

[quaver]

maybe a discussion. chat to her.
-ask her if she has been making it sore
-explain ok to touch but about being gentle
-talk about it is her special area
-maybe exchange the cream for putting on new undies.
trying not to make this too detailed
hmmm tricky.

[StrawberryTheMilkshake]

Thanks Quaver.

It is tricky- do you get what i mean about it being tricky in that i dont want to discourage her knowing herself and her body. I was always brought up to think that everything to do with that was "taboo" and you never spoke about it. I still struggle with intimacy so i dont want to do that to her. No way.

But, i dont want her playing with herself (if thats what she is doing) to the point she is hurting herself.

I dont want to give it too much attention either....

God i just dont know...

[WorkingClassMum]

Tell her maybe that seeing the cream isn't helping (as she's sore the next day) - you'll put bicarb in the bath, and that the bicarb should fix it.

I think it she mayn't be hurting (no redness, no obvious discharge, no odour no UTI), but by saying it hurts - she gets the vaseline

BTW - I wouldn't be using vaseline - it's petro-carbon based emollient.

If the bicarb and the distraction doesn't work, then I'd definately pop off to the Dr's for a check up.

We have told DS and DD that 'playing with themselves' is natural, normal and to be done on private.

[quaver]

the bicarb is a good idea.
good luck

[StrawberryTheMilkshake]

Im careful with the vaseline-- i dont think she has ever put it on her vaginal opening- and i keep it on the skin. Its miniscule amounts.

Its on the skin on the outer.

But i will stop using it now.....

Thanks for the advice... so tricky!

[Hollywood]

Could it be a UTI (urinary tract infection)? I got that when I was a preschooler (about 2 or 3 y.o.), so maybe it is something that should be considered.

Hope she gets better soon.