Bottle Feeders Guilt?

**mrsmamo** · 11-07-2009 20:01

So im wondering if anyone else that FF's there child/ren feel guilty for doing so?

Or has anyone made you out to be a bad mum for bottle feeding?

I FF my DD and have done since she refused the breast at about 2wks of age. I havent been able to shake the guilt since

One of my old school friend's husbands proceeded to tell me while i was BF'ing that mothers who FF their babies are not real mums!

I was disgusted, flawed yet still it played on my mind when we made the decision to switch.

Im hoping im not alone here cuz i know we are doing the best for our child as she is happy and thriving on the formula etc and it doesnt bother me who choses to bf or ff as its everyone's personal decision.

**PeppaH** · 11-07-2009 20:05

Im a proud formula feeder and I think if anyone ever said that Im a bad or not a real mother, I would spit in their face.

No seriously.

**2girls&1boy** · 11-07-2009 20:07

mrsmamo - I know how you feel. My DD2 refused the breast for some reason (still unknown to me). It got to the point that she was going to be admitted to hospital as all she did was sleep at about 2 weeks of age. Up to then I was syringe feeding her & expressing in between feeds.

We had decided that if she didn't wake up within the next 10mins I think it was were taking her to the hospital - long story short she woke up, we gave her formula & she absolutely thrived ever since.

To this day I am still riddled with guilt & disappointment as I have BF my other DD & now my DS & it was easy. In saying that though it is only guily I have put on myself not from others (how rude of your friends DH

)

**MommaBear** · 11-07-2009 20:09

nope no guilt- a lot of anger at being told stupid comments like she'll be fat cos she a FF baby, or that she sleeps through the night cos shes FF(still actually waiting for that to happen), that i'm abusing my child, not feeding her whats best for her..... the list goes on.

to start with i was a bit unsure about FFing and the remarks i got but as an informed parent who chose what was best for MY child and in no way harming her, i CHOSE to FF her and am proud of being able to raise my child the way that suits my little family best.

**shockinamillion** · 11-07-2009 20:21

Everyday! Especially when reading through the forums.

I also feel angry though when it is hinted that I have not tried.

You would think the pressure would be taken off a little for the ones that tried and couldn't

or couldn't for medical reasons.

**lambjam** · 11-07-2009 20:29

to you, you good, loving mummies.

**HelenHasTwins** · 11-07-2009 20:32

Originally Posted by shockinamillion

Everyday! Especially when reading through the forums.

I also feel angry though when it is hinted that I have not tried.

You would think the pressure would be taken off a little for the ones that tried and couldn't

or couldn't for medical reasons.

and it is bloody hard with twins...I did try and do feel a bit quilty, but they get my love just as much and get feed just as much.

**spoon** · 11-07-2009 20:33

Not even a little bit. My babes are healthy beautiful children, and I am a fantastic mother. I don't that man had much going on in the brain department to say that to you

**quaver** · 11-07-2009 20:33

yep, felt really guilty. horrible, upset sad. i felt i failed the first challenge of motherhood. (that and my c section!)
i tried everything to keep bf, but lost my milk. we put him on bottle and he stopped crying because i was not starving him any more!

tbh i am really a bit ticked off about a heap of the things going on bh at the moment about bf and bottle. i really have had enough of that argument. we should support each other. really i think it hurts a heap of people, especially the ones that read and are too upset to reply.

i had an lady mid 40s come up to me once and say that i was harming my child by ff. i was so upset. but...my brother was with me and said- "she is a breast cancer survivor" the lady backtracked big time and said sorry but he then turned around and said "no she isnt but just goes to show you that it is none of your business because you dont know the full story. so maybe think twice about judging people"

ff bf- really in the long run does it matter- as long as the child is happy and fed!