Dad banned from weighing son by court

[Miaow]

Dad banned from weighing son by court


Fiona Hudson
June 29, 2009 12:00am

A COURT has banned a Victorian father from weighing his nine-year-old son.
The Family Court orders also prevent the dad discussing the weight with his son, or within earshot of, the boy.
The man could face sanctions including fines or jail if he breaches the order and a series of others set by the judge.
Justice Nahum Mushin imposed the restrictions at the end of a bitter 16-day custody hearing where the child's health was a major flashpoint.
The court heard the dad is fixated on the fact his disabled son's weight exceeds 40kg, and he blames his ex-wife for the blowout.
The father - who can't be identified for legal reasons - accused the mother of allowing the boy to watch too much television, eat fatty foods and exercise little.
He was concerned the child's weight was having an impact on the effectiveness of various medications.
The boy suffers from a range of medical problems. The mother accused the man of denigrating the boy about his weight, and of using his size as a reason to criticise her.
Doctors and teachers trying to care for the boy were alienated by the man's aggressive behaviour, the court heard.
The man's conduct to the child's main doctor was "harassing, aggressive and confrontational", the court found in a judgment published last month.
The dad - who wanted his son to change schools - also wrote "derogatory, dictatorial and sarcastic notes" in a diary to a teacher, the court heard.
The judge ruled the children should live with the mother and granted her sole responsibility for decisions about the boy's health and education.
Justice Mushin described the case as "extremely protracted and bitter".
"There is enormous antipathy between the parties. Throughout this trial I searched for, and could not find, any point of convergence between them with regard to their parenting," he ruled.

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/sto...5-2862,00.html

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

he sounds obsessive and harmful to say the least.

[PeppaH]

I think that if a child is overweight that it is a problem and the parents should do something about it. I hate when parents point blame at each other lol So he maybe should of instead of whining about it, had he son exercise and eat better food. I dont know seems messed up to me, one reason I dont want my children eating junk food! I dont want a fatty boomba
I know a girl two years younger than me whoes mother always called her fat etc (very loving family dont get me wrong) so once this girl was old enough (im not sure what age it was) she turned ballemitic So now she is very skinny. The last time I spoke to her mother though, we were watching old videos of us kids and the girl was saying how fat she looked and her mum says "Oh dont be silly you were never fat"

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

I think that if a child is overweight that it is a problem and the parents should do something about it. I hate when parents point blame at each other lol So he maybe should of instead of whining about it, had he son exercise and eat better food. I dont know seems messed up to me, one reason I dont want my children eating junk food! I dont want a fatty boomba
I know a girl two years younger than me whoes mother always called her fat etc (very loving family dont get me wrong) so once this girl was old enough (im not sure what age it was) she turned ballemitic So now she is very skinny. The last time I spoke to her mother though, we were watching old videos of us kids and the girl was saying how fat she looked and her mum says "Oh dont be silly you were never fat"

I am confused as to what your point is. Your friend now has anorexia, probably because she was teased about being overweight.

The boy in this story is disbaled and has medical conditions, it does say that there are other children, and it appears he is the only one with a weight probelm.

[Mummaholic]

I know a girl two years younger than me whoes mother always called her fat etc (very loving family dont get me wrong) so once this girl was old enough (im not sure what age it was) she turned ballemitic So now she is very skinny. The last time I spoke to her mother though, we were watching old videos of us kids and the girl was saying how fat she looked and her mum says "Oh dont be silly you were never fat"

Wow, I don't find that funny at all, I find it very sad. Have you considered the mother's insults (as loving as she may be) contributed to your friend's illness??? I hope she is ok now.

I don't care if my children are fat, thin, tall, short or polka dotted. I will do my best to get them to eat healthily and exercise, this won't include cruel taunts on their appearance or weigh ins though.

The boy in the story has a disability, this could be affecting his ability to lose weight and he may not fully understand his father's upsetting and possibly abusive behaviour.

[AwwDad]

the whole thing is just sad i dont know why someone woudl want to potentially upset a child with a disabilty. this. in my mind its tantamount to abuse.

peppah how sad for your friend i cant imagine how i woudl feel if this had been done to me. i think laughing about some ones illness is cruel and the boy in the article concerned is clearly being mistreated. i'm glad the court ruled against the father makingany decisons or being bale to discuss weight in front or earshot of the child

[Pax]

How the father behaved was wrong but he does have a valid reason to be upset.. he should just deal with his 'upset' better

40kg for a 9 year old is huge! That is abuse IMO

[Opinionated]

It's hard to say what is really going on here. I can see both points of view and many scenarios that could be playing out. Personally, I would have like the judge to have ordered some consultation with a health professional for the child.40kg is big. I would be distraught if I was the non-custodial parent and was concerned about my child's health and my concerns were ignored.

That is not to say though that that is what is occurring in this situation. He might be just a nasty pastie.

[JabberJaw]

I think that if a child is overweight that it is a problem and the parents should do something about it. I hate when parents point blame at each other lol So he maybe should of instead of whining about it, had he son exercise and eat better food. I dont know seems messed up to me, one reason I dont want my children eating junk food!

My eldest DD is overweight and it is totally because of her father and step mother, she IS allowed junk food and over indulges because that is how her father is also.

It is very hard when parents are separated, and although i never pick on my daughter, when she is in my care (friday-monday) she eats healthy food like my other kids and is allowed a small treat, she always asks for more and i reply, if you think you need it then, yes sure you can have it, but if you are wanting it because you are bored, then No you may not. Most times she chooses not to have the extra whatever it happens to be.

I have directly discussed my concerns with her dad, but its just how he was brought up and he knows no better.

In 6 weeks my daughter will be moving with me 400km away from her dad, and where we are going she will have no access to junk food, or takeway.

Believe me i have tried everything to stop her dad over indulging her, but the pleas fall on deaf ears, if you know what i mean.

Really your post makes no sense at all, well not to me anyhow. And as a seperated parent i know how hard it is.

OP- poor boy, obviously has a medical condition and its sad that his dad is doing what he does.

[Chunkydunks]

Yeah 40kgs is quite large for a 9 year old but there are factors here contributing to that. If some of the meds are steroidal then they will cause weight gain. A disability on it own makes it harder to maintain weight. My cousin is downs and is a very solid girl. Always has been.

Subjecting a disabled child to that sort of thing is cruel.....actually subjecting any child to that is wrong. Peppa's story has proved how impressionable children are so to have a parent in your face about your weight isn't good and for the parent to be constantly blaming others is wrong. Why has he passed the buck to everyone else? Why is he not accountable??