What would you do?opinions needed

[tommylu]

Hi there,this may get a bit long so sorry
My 10yo came home the other day with a note regarding parent teacher meetings,we totally forgot about it for the first few days and since the appointments are on a first in first served basis,we got a really crappy time.
Anyway,when i told my son that i may not be able to make it at that time(11:45)
he got upset at me and said,Well my teacher said that if you dont come that means you dont care !! i didnt really know whether to believe that the teacher really did say that or he said it because he was upset...this comment has been on my mind all week..wasnt sure if i should bring it up with the teacher or not...so today was the meeting and i did confront this woman about her comment in a very"im not sure if you said this"way. So she said,YES i DID say that to him only because i thought that he hadnt given you the note !?! i thought,WHAT ?! how dare you say something like that to my son !? you dont know me or my family,how dare you imply that i dont care for my son. ! After her explanation i didnt know what else to say without telling her where to go,and she changed the subject.

So my question is: What would you do? im thinking of maybe going to see the principal about this,i just cant get it out of my head.am i overreacting about this whole thing ?

[Alekay]

hi no i dont think you are over reacting i think that is a very inappropriate(sp) thing to say to a child of any age. If i were you i would talk to the principle or whoever the person you talk to about that as there are many other ways to find out from the your son if he had given you the note all it would take is to ask him or give you a quick ph call that is my opinion anyway

[~Emmylou~]

Yeah I agree I think there are far more effective (not to mention less damaging) ways of making sure your son gave you the note

I would be cranky too!

[Blessed Mum]

Hi there. I have been having run-ins with teachers of late as well. That was not a fair comment or an appropriate one for her to make. Complain. My son has been so lucky & had really good teachers until this year and all I can add is on a few bad ones that are spoiling it for others.

Good luck with it all

[angcaltam]

I wouldn't take that. I would take it up with the Principal. She shouldn't be saying things like that to you son.

[poshBecks]

DEFINATELY talk to the principle abou that!! That is just wrong!!

[shed]

Tommylu, she probably regrets it and didn't mean it to offend. Teachers have a tough job and everyone stuffs up sometimes.

I am not saying I think she should have said it, I don't think she should have said it, but I have said stupid things sometimes myself and I think you mentioning it to her was enough to make her squirm without escalating it. It won't do your son any good in regard to his education and she has already probably realised that she shouldn't have said it, so it won't achieve anything really.

Just jot it down and keep it for reference in case she turns out to be repeat offender.

[xkwzit]

I'm with Shed.

She prob has had many kids that she has taught over the years who's parents didn't care. This might make her frustrated for these poor kids (def NOT saying that your son is one of them OF COURSE) and so she might get a bit extreme with trying to get the kids to hand the notes over and the parents to come to interviews.

Not saying that what she said to your son was right, but I think in many cases teachers get a pretty raw deal for a pretty important job and most prob deserve all the support we can give them.

Again not saying that you should just put up with it for this reason, but also IMO no need to get fired up with her either.

Cheers

[tommylu]

Hi all,just an update on this whole situation.
I decided to go and talk to the principal about this matter because i felt that if i didnt mention it to her the teacher wouldnt say anything either and the whole thing would have gone unnoticed and i did not want that.
So i went to speak with her,not in an angry state,but more in a "hurt/i cant believe she said that" state.
The principal was very ......how can i say this.......she reminded me of a politician,she didnt admit fault,talked a lot without defending the teacher or blaming her,and she offered another meeting to which i said no because i dont want to make a big deal out of this.I just wanted the school to know what the teacher had said.

[Rose68]

Hi im glad u gave your opinion, at least u feel better from it, but from previous experience, you must be careful these days teachers can make it hard for that student, and believe me i know personally how teachers and principals turn around and say here she comes again another overprotective parent its that saying damned if you do and damned if you dont. I hope for your sake that the rest of the year goes without a hitch.