To pacify or not to pacify

**arty1** · 26-06-2009 10:29

I have been wondering how people did it before the pacifier/dummy was invented...?

If I dont give my baby a pacifier than they will never need it/miss it...

If I do use it I want it to be a sometimes method when all else has failed...but than it is just so easy to stick a dummy in the babys mouth and it's quite.

What are your thoughts?

**NonnyMouse** · 26-06-2009 10:34

I don't use one at all... until DS found his fingers to suck on I'd just offer him either my breast as a comforter, or the knuckle of my (clean) little finger to suck on.

Some will say that dummies are easier to wean from than fingers, as you can remove a dummy once you don't want them to use it anymore, but I think most kids who use fingers/thumbs to pacify eventually stop by them time they get to school as it is no longer socially acceptable, and I'm happy for DS to decide for himself when he's ready to go without. As it is, he only sucks his fingers if he's really tired and on his way to lala land.

Having said that... there's been a few nights when he was colicky and I would have loved to be able to pop a dummy in to give him a rest, but my conscience just wouldn't let me and once he'd calmed down again I was pleased we'd got through it without resorting to a pacifier.

**halloweenmum** · 26-06-2009 10:39

My bub doesnt particularly like her dummy at all, and she has been that way since birth. I put it in her mouth and she spits it out. She would rather play with it in her hand as a toy!

I think that bubs dont really need them and you are right, what did they do before they were invented? I think babies were just fine without them. In my opinion, babies only ever cry when something is wrong so why shove something in their mouth to shut them up rather than addressing whats really wrong?

Sure lots of bubs cry for attention but if they feel that they need you and being their primary caregiver isnt that only natural? When my bub does this, I just walk over to her and talk to her for a moment so she knows everything is ok, then I walk away again. This works fine for me.

Every mother & baby is different and if a baby gets genuine comfort from a pacifier, then that can be a good thing too, just as long as the parent isnt using it for their own gain rather than the baby's.

**indigoin0z** · 26-06-2009 11:09

i have used them for my 3 sons, but i despise doing so...
particularly with ds3 i didnt want to but the silent reflux thing is just excruciating & anything to help him... but i regret it.. and when you see his teeth... omG!! he is definitely going to need braces!

but much as the same with other issues in society, they can be a useful tool when needed but are often abused & used as an easy, disrespectful way out..
my DH for example
p!ss3s me off when the minute bub [now 2!] makes a squeak or is in discomfort he immediately either tries to shove the dummy in his mouth or will put the thought/question in bubs head "do you want a dummy?' [well no @55h0le the question you are really trying to ask is "can i shove a dummy in your mouth to shut you the h3ll up cauz im too lazy & selfish to figure out what your problem is & to put the time & effort into helping empower you to get through it!]
im sorry im very hormonal atm

**BabelFish** · 26-06-2009 12:01

We were never able to get DD to take a dummy and I'm glad because I don't have an issue with them but am happy that I won't have to wean DD off one. I think they're more trouble than they're worth, TBH. Constantly having to put them back in, hygeine etc etc. DD sucks her thumb and luckily only does so when she's tired or going to sleep, so it's not a big deal for her.

I don't know if it's possible to just use a dummy as a last resort, though, even though it would be nice. I remember saying that to my boss once (he has three kids) and he said to me `waste of time. You can't be a little bit of a heroin addict'. LOL! But I know what he means....

**samken** · 26-06-2009 12:09

Well, after all those wowser comments hopefully I can provide you with something positive.

A pacifier is just that a pacifier, sucking makes them happy. They may not be hungry but they just want something to suck on. Yes they may use there fingers, DD did, but during the reflux period and if you have a premmy in SCN and nobody can pick them or hold them for several days if not weeks because of tubes you are grateful that they have something like a pacifier.

It isn't the boogy man, you are probably surrounded by heaps of people who had pacifiers (of one sort or another) when they were kids and you wouldn't know the difference so don't get all thingy about it.

Your baby may not want it so you may not use it but in those first 6 months keeping yourself sane and your baby happy should be the top of your priorities. I look back on my concerns in those months and have to laugh. My DD is the happiest little kid with the loveliest of teeth.

**indigoin0z** · 26-06-2009 14:03

Originally Posted by samken

Well, after all those wowser comments hopefully I can provide you with something positive. .....
.

i think that is unnecessary.. just as it would be if i was to call yourself or other posters ignorant or arrogant because their 'opinions' were negative IMO
peoples personal experience, is exactly as it is. from THeiR experience which often forms -at least part of- their opinion..

**Hannahsmumma** · 26-06-2009 14:07

Originally Posted by indigoin0z

[COLOR=darkslateblue]particularly with ds3 i didnt want to but the silent reflux thing is just excruciating & anything to help him... but i regret it.. and when you see his teeth... omG!! he is definitely going to need braces!

I always thought this about the teeth and won't be giving one to DD2 but DD1 had one till 18 months.

Don't they lose all their baby teeth anyway so crooked teeth etc would just fall out??

**BigRedV** · 26-06-2009 14:12

My DD likes it for sleeping. She has had it since she was about 2 weeks old. She has only ever wanted it for sleep and I am happy with that. It is on sids website that dummy use may prevent sids so I felt comfortable using one and will if my next babies want them as well.

**JimJamsMum** · 26-06-2009 13:41

My DS has had a dummy since he was about two months old. At first I offered my breast or my little finger for him to suck on but eventually I realised that giving him a dummy really wasn't a big deal and it gave me a break (bit hard to put bubs down to sleep when he's hanging off your boob or finger).

You are right that sticking a dummy in a baby's mouth can be an easy option but the truth is that if you aren't addressing the reason the baby is distressed they will keep crying, dummy in mouth or not.